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Started By
Message
re: Give me the best joke you got.
Posted on 8/3/21 at 10:12 pm to HoboDickCheese
Posted on 8/3/21 at 10:12 pm to HoboDickCheese
One morning Thibodeaux was sitting on his dock enjoying the sunrise when Boudreaux pulls up in his boat filled with duct tape. Thibodeaux looks at him, and asks "what you doing with a boat full of duct tape?" Boudreaux replies "I'm going duck hunting! You wanna come?" "You can't hunt ducks with duct tape, and no I ain't coming" replied Thibodeaux. So Boudreaux leaves. Later in the day Thibodeaux sees Boudreaux fly by in his boat, and low and behold its full of ducks. "Well i'll be damned!" says Thibodeaux.
The next morning as Thibodeaux is enjoying the sunrise, Boudreaux pulls up in his boat again, this time with a boat full of gatorade. Sarcastically Thibodeaux says "Let me guess, you gonna catch gators with gatorade?" "Yep, you wanna come?" says Boudreaux. "You can't catch gators with gatorade...No I ain't coming!" So Boudreaux leaves. Later that day Thibodeaux sees Boudreaux fly by in his boat, and it was filled with gators. "Well i'll be damned!" says Thibodeaux.
The next morning as Thibodeaux is enjoying the sunrise, Boudreaux pulls up in his boat agian...this time with a boat full of pussy willows. Thibodeaux thinks for a second and says..."Hold on let me get my hat"
The next morning as Thibodeaux is enjoying the sunrise, Boudreaux pulls up in his boat again, this time with a boat full of gatorade. Sarcastically Thibodeaux says "Let me guess, you gonna catch gators with gatorade?" "Yep, you wanna come?" says Boudreaux. "You can't catch gators with gatorade...No I ain't coming!" So Boudreaux leaves. Later that day Thibodeaux sees Boudreaux fly by in his boat, and it was filled with gators. "Well i'll be damned!" says Thibodeaux.
The next morning as Thibodeaux is enjoying the sunrise, Boudreaux pulls up in his boat agian...this time with a boat full of pussy willows. Thibodeaux thinks for a second and says..."Hold on let me get my hat"
1
Posted on 8/3/21 at 10:16 pm to DiamondDog
I got carded buying alcohol the other day, and my Blockbuster card accidentally fell out.
The cashier said never mind.
The cashier said never mind.
This post was edited on 8/3/21 at 10:17 pm
Posted on 8/3/21 at 10:21 pm to BowDownToLSU
A priest, rabbit, and minister walked into a bar.
The bartender looks at the rabbit and says, “why are you here”?
The rabbit says, “damn auto correct”.
The bartender looks at the rabbit and says, “why are you here”?
The rabbit says, “damn auto correct”.
Posted on 8/3/21 at 10:28 pm to LeGrosChat
quote:
priest, rabbit, and minister walked into a bar.
The bartender looks at the rabbit and says, “why are you here”?
The rabbit
Posted on 8/3/21 at 10:33 pm to DiamondDog
I was walking down the street the other day and saw sign that said “wood fire pizza.”
And I screamed “would fire pizza? How are they going to support their family?”
And I screamed “would fire pizza? How are they going to support their family?”
Posted on 8/3/21 at 10:46 pm to HoboDickCheese
quote:...unless you're Mexican.
Have you heard the one about the 13ft fence? You’ll never get over it....
Posted on 8/3/21 at 10:50 pm to Crimson1st
“What’s your name, son?” a principal asked his student. The kid replied, “D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir.”
“Do you have a stutter?” asked the principal. The student answered, “No sir, but my dad has a bad stutter and the guy who registered my name at the hospital was a real a-hole.”
“Do you have a stutter?” asked the principal. The student answered, “No sir, but my dad has a bad stutter and the guy who registered my name at the hospital was a real a-hole.”
Posted on 8/3/21 at 10:52 pm to DiamondDog
Q: What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
A: You can’t hear an enzyme
A: You can’t hear an enzyme
Posted on 8/3/21 at 11:06 pm to DiamondDog
Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes?
As a successful Hollywood actor, he has both the time and the sizable income to source the highest quality ingredients.
As a successful Hollywood actor, he has both the time and the sizable income to source the highest quality ingredients.
Posted on 8/3/21 at 11:16 pm to DiamondDog
What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas
What did Delaware?
A New Jersey
The same thing Arkansas
What did Delaware?
A New Jersey
Posted on 8/3/21 at 11:36 pm to Cajunhawk81
quote:
Man dies and goes to hell. Ends up in a bar in hell, and he notices next to him is Hitler. Hitler introduces himself as the former Chacellor of Germany, killer of 3 million Jews, and 4 clowns.
Man asks “4 clowns?”
Hitler turns and yells, “See Stalin, I told you nobody cared about the fricking Jews.”
Smartest joke I've seen in a long time. Well played brutha.
Posted on 8/3/21 at 11:48 pm to DiamondDog
If you build a man a fire, He'll be warm for a day.
If you set a man on fire, He'll be warm for the rest of his life.
If you set a man on fire, He'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Posted on 8/4/21 at 12:13 am to fr33manator
quote:
Did you hear about the crawfish who got a degree from LSU and went to WAFB to be a weatherman?
Well wouldn’t you know it, he got the job, and he was all dressed in his little crawfish suit and tie, about to go on air, when a meteor fell out the sky onto the newsroom, flattening it.
Just goes to show
You can’t do the weather with a crushed station.
Sure. Sure.
But what impact did this have on the prices?
Posted on 8/4/21 at 12:40 am to DiamondDog
2 men and a woman are talking in a bar, one man says, "I'm a s.n.a.g.,a single new aged guy." Other man says, "Well I'm a d.i.n.k., double income, no kids." The woman then says, "I'm a W.i.f.e." both men look at her and ask, "what's a W.i.f.e.?" She replies, wash, iron, frick, etc...
Posted on 8/4/21 at 12:50 am to BamaFinland
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
KGB
KGB wh- (slapped your friend before he finishes)
(With Russian accent:) “Vee vill ask der questions!”
Who’s there?
KGB
KGB wh- (slapped your friend before he finishes)
(With Russian accent:) “Vee vill ask der questions!”
Posted on 8/4/21 at 1:07 am to LSUFreek
Ya motha so nasty she pours saltwater down her pants to keep her crabs fresh
Posted on 8/4/21 at 6:01 am to DiamondDog
Difference between The Rolling Stones and an Irishman
Rolling Stones - Hey you get off of my cloud.
Irishman - Hey McCloud get off of my ewe!
Rolling Stones - Hey you get off of my cloud.
Irishman - Hey McCloud get off of my ewe!
Posted on 8/4/21 at 6:11 am to DiamondDog
A fish was watching a fly and thought "if the fly drops 6 inches I can jump out of the water and catch the fly'.
A bear was at the edge of the water watching the fly. The bear thought "if the fly drops 6 inches, the fish will catch the fly and I'll catch the fish".
A hunter was sitting on a hill eating a sandwich. He too was watching the fly. He thought "if the fly drops 6 inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, I'll put down my sandwich and shoot the bear".
A mouse on the hill was watching the very same fly and thought "if the fly drops 6 inches,the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will drop his sandwich to shoot the bear and I can nab the sandwich".
A cat on the hill was watching the same fly and thought "if the fly drops 6 inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will drop his sandwich to shoot the bear, the mouse will nab the sandwich and I can catch the mouse".
Well, the fly dropped 6 inches. The fish jumped to catch it, the bear grabbed the fish, the hunter dropped his sandwich and shot the bear, the mouse nabbed the sandwich and the cat went after the mouse but tripped over a rock and tumbled down the hill and into the water.
Moral of the story:
If a fly drops 6 inches......
you can bet it involves a wet pussy.
A bear was at the edge of the water watching the fly. The bear thought "if the fly drops 6 inches, the fish will catch the fly and I'll catch the fish".
A hunter was sitting on a hill eating a sandwich. He too was watching the fly. He thought "if the fly drops 6 inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, I'll put down my sandwich and shoot the bear".
A mouse on the hill was watching the very same fly and thought "if the fly drops 6 inches,the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will drop his sandwich to shoot the bear and I can nab the sandwich".
A cat on the hill was watching the same fly and thought "if the fly drops 6 inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will drop his sandwich to shoot the bear, the mouse will nab the sandwich and I can catch the mouse".
Well, the fly dropped 6 inches. The fish jumped to catch it, the bear grabbed the fish, the hunter dropped his sandwich and shot the bear, the mouse nabbed the sandwich and the cat went after the mouse but tripped over a rock and tumbled down the hill and into the water.
Moral of the story:
If a fly drops 6 inches......
you can bet it involves a wet pussy.
Posted on 8/4/21 at 6:15 am to Nicky Parrish
quote:McCloud is a Scottish surname.
Difference between The Rolling Stones and an Irishman Rolling Stones - Hey you get off of my cloud. Irishman - Hey McCloud get off of my ewe!
The TV Series lasted 7 years.
A New Mexico detective gets assigned to a Manhattan district.
This post was edited on 8/4/21 at 6:17 am
Posted on 8/4/21 at 6:27 am to jfw3535
quote:
Poppa Tomato, Momma Tomato and Baby Tomato were going for a walk. Baby Tomato kept lagging behind and Poppa Tomato was getting annoyed, so after a while Poppa Tomato wheeled around, stomped on Baby Tomato and yelled, “Catch up!!”
Good one, Raven McCoy.
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