re: Gf's Dad died a while back and she'll start crying spontaneously that she misses him

Send her my info

Rougeinthebasement@gmail.com

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My dad died 45 years ago. I was 3 and have no memories of him. I often cry when I think about things that I missed out on with him and things I never got to experience with him.

My mom died in August. I cry when I think of her sometimes, too.

You're a fricking dick.

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1. I'm very sorry for your loss.

2. I think your post brings up an important angle here. The OP is mad at his GF over how she copes with the loss of her father. He and other posters have expressed disbelief over her inability or refusal to "just get over it". But they're looking at this issue from their own male point of view and not considering her female point of view.

Females deal with emotional things like this different than we do. Ya'll tend to be more emotional than we do. It's in your nature. And just as it would be unfair for a woman to demand one of us to start feeling or expressing more emotions when it's against our nature, it's likewise wrong for any man expect a woman to suppress hers.

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1. I'm very sorry for your loss.

2. I think your post brings up an important angle here. The OP is mad at his GF over how she copes with the loss of her father. He and other posters have expressed disbelief over her inability or refusal to "just get over it". But they're looking at this issue from their own male point of view and not considering her female point of view.

Females deal with emotional things like this different than we do. Ya'll tend to be more emotional than we do. It's in your nature. And just as it would be unfair for a woman to demand one of us to start feeling or expressing more emotions when it's against our nature, it's likewise wrong for any man expect a woman to suppress hers.

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thank you...and all the rest is spot on.

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and all the rest is spot on.

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it is the wisdom you gain when you travel to and return from the other side

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thank you...and all the rest is spot on

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Living with my wife (and now our daughter) for all these years has taught me a lot about how yall tick.

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That's normal. I don't think that's what he's talking about.

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His only description so far is that she shouldn't do it because he has been dead for 12 years. Songs, things can bring back memories and emotions. I think the big thing is the frequency. How long have they been dating and how many times has she done it. Does its occurrence align with hormonal shifts? Does she need help, or is OP a dick? A lot of unanswered questions. I was simply agreeing with the fact that memories and grief do not have a set expiration date.

Hey man frick YOU, you uncompassionate son of a bitch!

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I agree but at the same time, there's a point where it's unhealthy. My half sister is like this. Her constant emotional outbursts about losing her dad 5 years ago has already alienated her from almost all her friends and family. My mom, who was married to the man for 30 years can no longer bear to be around her, due to the constant outbursts.

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Logically, I agree with you. But at the same time, you can't get angry with or toss her aside over this because it's in her nature. It's not like she simply chooses to be emotional over her dad from time to time. The best thing the OP can do is ask himself one simple question.

"Do I love her?"

If the answer is yes, then he will be patient with her and be there for her when she's dealing with this. I know it will be mocked because this is from the bible, but these words are what have sustained me in my marriage for over 20 years now...

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4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

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Words to live by.

OP needs to clarify how much this happens. If a lot then she needs help, because she never dealt with the grief of losing her dad. I know first hand grief doesn't have an expiration date and it can build up till it just comes out.

If only a few times a year try not to be an prick and support her if you love her.

One of my sons died 3 years ago, I imagine in 9 years I will still get emotional a few times a year when I think about the man he would of become, the family we would of raised, the time we missed out on.

If in 9 years when I was emotional, you told me I should get over it, I would tell you to go screw yourself and you were a dick.

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One of my sons died 3 years ago, I imagine in 9 years I will still get emotional a few times a year when I think about the man he would of become, the family we would of raised, the time we missed out on.

If in 9 years when I was emotional, you told me I should get over it, I would tell you to go screw yourself and you were a dick.

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I'm very sorry to hear that. You can throw everything I've said out the window when it comes to the death of a child.