re: Friend thinking about divorce

quote:

---

I'm told the marriage has been "bad" for many years. But recently my friend has really made an effort to get his act together.

---

So your "friend" was an a-hole for many years, decided to try to be a decent person and is now disappointed that things haven't improved overnight?

It doesn't happen like that. People that have been shite on in relationships don't forgive nor forget easily. If the marriage was bad for years because your "friend" was a douche, then it may well take years of him being this newfound person to balance things out.

Sex life isn't the cause, it's just a symptom. Just bringing it up tells me your "friend" has poor focus.

Your "friend" and his wife should look into marriage counseling if they both have any interest in saving their marriage. Be warned though, your "friend" might find out a lot about himself he doesn't want to hear.

quote:

---

I have a friend, of course, who is thinking about divorce. He has 3 kids, all pretty young, and his wife is a stay at home mom. He makes over $100k, I believe. We'll say $135k.

---

This is how I read this.

"I am thinking about divorce. I have 3 kids who are all young and my wife stays at home because she is too fricking lazy to get a job. I make only about $35k a year. Would I be better off divorcing her?

Tell your friend to read The Five Love Languages. His efforts may be well meant but misdirected.

Also, tell him to be very, very patient. Divorce with young kids is excruciatingly painful, even if the divorce is not bitter. He won't be coming home to his kids, sharing their day, hearing their stories. The everyday with the kids is something people discount when considering divorce.

If it is bitter it will be beyond awful. Patience, persistence and time are what the situation calls for. Divorce is not the answer.