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Message
Dumb jokes
Posted on 4/27/15 at 2:18 pm
Posted on 4/27/15 at 2:18 pm
So I love a good pun. What's the best short & stupid jokes you have?
What's the advantage of living in Switzerland?
Well, the flag is a big plus.
I dreamed about drowning in an ocean made out of orange soda last night. It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea.
A Higgs Boson walks into a church, and the priest yells 'get out!' The Boson replies 'But you can't have mass without me'.
2 whales walk into a bar.
First whale says: ooooEEEEEEEEaaaayyyyyuuuuuuaaaaaa eeeeooOOOOYAIIIAIIIEYOOOooooooo
Second whale says: Shut up Steve, you're drunk
What's the advantage of living in Switzerland?
Well, the flag is a big plus.
I dreamed about drowning in an ocean made out of orange soda last night. It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea.
A Higgs Boson walks into a church, and the priest yells 'get out!' The Boson replies 'But you can't have mass without me'.
2 whales walk into a bar.
First whale says: ooooEEEEEEEEaaaayyyyyuuuuuuaaaaaa eeeeooOOOOYAIIIAIIIEYOOOooooooo
Second whale says: Shut up Steve, you're drunk
This post was edited on 4/27/15 at 2:19 pm
19
Posted on 4/27/15 at 2:20 pm to DavidTheGnome
Did you hear the energizer bunny got arrested?
He was charged with battery.
Two antennae got married. The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was terrific!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The Police.
The Police who?
Ma'am, your son is dead.
He was charged with battery.
Two antennae got married. The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was terrific!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The Police.
The Police who?
Ma'am, your son is dead.
Posted on 4/27/15 at 2:20 pm to DavidTheGnome
What do you do with a cannibal who shows up late for dinner?
Give him the cold shoulder!
Give him the cold shoulder!
Posted on 4/27/15 at 2:21 pm to DavidTheGnome
A roman walks into a bar and says to the bartender "I'd like a martinus."
The bartender says "You mean a martini?"
The roman says "No thanks, just a single."
The bartender says "You mean a martini?"
The roman says "No thanks, just a single."
Posted on 4/27/15 at 2:22 pm to gorillacoco
quote:
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The Police.
The Police who?
Ma'am, your son is dead
Posted on 4/27/15 at 2:23 pm to DavidTheGnome
A horse walks into a bar.
Bartender: "Why the long face?"
The horse: "My alcoholism is destroying my family."
Bartender: "Why the long face?"
The horse: "My alcoholism is destroying my family."
Posted on 4/27/15 at 2:23 pm to DavidTheGnome
Mickey Mouse gets a call from his lawyer, the lawyer tells him "Mickey I'm sorry, but you can't divorce Minnie just because she's crazy".
Mickey says "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she was fricking Goofy".
Mickey says "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she was fricking Goofy".
Posted on 4/27/15 at 2:24 pm to DavidTheGnome
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, ‘First offender?’ She says, ‘No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!
Posted on 4/27/15 at 2:24 pm to DavidTheGnome
Knock knock
Who's there?
9/11
911 who?
I thought you said you'd never forget
Who's there?
9/11
911 who?
I thought you said you'd never forget
Posted on 4/27/15 at 2:25 pm to DavidTheGnome
Russian history in 5 words: And then things got worse.
Posted on 4/27/15 at 2:26 pm to DavidTheGnome
You should start performing at comedy clubs
Posted on 4/27/15 at 2:27 pm to DavidTheGnome
What did the truck driver say to the one-legged hitchhiker?
Hop in.
Hop in.
Posted on 4/27/15 at 2:30 pm to DavidTheGnome
What did the ocean say to the boat?
-Nothing, he just waved.
What did the sushi say to the bee?
-Wasabi
-Nothing, he just waved.
What did the sushi say to the bee?
-Wasabi
Posted on 4/27/15 at 2:31 pm to 81Tiger
what's the difference between a Ritz cracker and a lesbian?
one's a snack cracker the other is a crack snacker
one's a snack cracker the other is a crack snacker
Posted on 4/27/15 at 2:33 pm to 81Tiger
Why are pirates so cool?
Cause they ARRRRRRRRRR.
What happens if you put the energizer bunny's batteries in backwards?
He keeps coming and coming.
Cause they ARRRRRRRRRR.
What happens if you put the energizer bunny's batteries in backwards?
He keeps coming and coming.
Posted on 4/27/15 at 2:43 pm to DavidTheGnome
Want to hear a dumb joke?
Women's Rights.
Women's Rights.
Posted on 4/27/15 at 2:48 pm to DavidTheGnome
Man to pirate: "why is a steering wheel sticking out of your pants?"
Pirate: "it's driving me nuts!"
Pirate: "it's driving me nuts!"
This post was edited on 4/27/15 at 2:49 pm
Posted on 4/27/15 at 2:53 pm to DavidTheGnome
Why did the elephant paint it's toenails red? To hide in a strawberry patch. Have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch? It works doesn't it.
Posted on 4/27/15 at 2:53 pm to CapitalCityDevil
quote:
Russian history in 5 words: And then things got worse.
Gold!
Posted on 4/27/15 at 3:14 pm to magildachunks
I once farted in an elevator, which was wrong on so many levels.
Why does a chicken coop only have 2 doors?
Because if it had 4, it would be chicken sedan.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
It's ok, he woke up.
Why does a chicken coop only have 2 doors?
Because if it had 4, it would be chicken sedan.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
It's ok, he woke up.
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