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re: Divorce..what should I do?

Posted on 1/21/21 at 1:23 pm to
Posted by tiggerthetooth
Big Momma's House
Member since Oct 2010
62983 posts
Posted on 1/21/21 at 1:23 pm to
There's another dude. Just move on and cut all ties permanently.
Posted by 3nOut
I don't really care, Margaret
Member since Jan 2013
30787 posts
Posted on 1/21/21 at 1:23 pm to
quote:

She works at home and may leave the house once a month.



even if she's not cheating, i'm sure she's miserable.


sorry baw.
Posted by Carson123987
Middle Court at the Rec
Member since Jul 2011
67365 posts
Posted on 1/21/21 at 1:24 pm to
quote:

There may be a Jody, maybe not.


sorry for laughing, but this line got me


she's in a dark place mentally and it sounds like shes made up her mind, unfortunately. thankfully you dont have young kids
Posted by Larry_Hotdogs
Texas
Member since Jun 2019
1618 posts
Posted on 1/21/21 at 1:24 pm to
The best way to handle it is to do the right thing and live well. She might not change her mind, but there's no reason for you to not pursue happiness.

Best of luck. You'll do well.
Posted by lsusteve1
Member since Dec 2004
44199 posts
Posted on 1/21/21 at 1:24 pm to
quote:

There may be a Jody, maybe not. I’ve been looking and haven’t found anything yet. She works at home and may leave the house once a month. Even if there is there’s nothing I can do about it.


Her unwillingness to try and save things means there probably is.

In all honesty, keep things cordial at ALL costs. She's ready to move on, let her.
Posted by LSUintheNW
At your mom’s house
Member since Aug 2009
36556 posts
Posted on 1/21/21 at 1:24 pm to
quote:

My dude, there is probably another dude.


There's ALWAYS another dude.

Posted by SUB
Silver Tier TD Premium
Member since Jan 2009
23262 posts
Posted on 1/21/21 at 1:25 pm to
Damn. Are you happy? Do you want to stay together?

Her unwillingness to put any effort into working it out is telling...have you asked if there is someone else?

Sorry baw. It's good your kids are older if this is the end but it will still impact them greatly.
Posted by rrboy
USA
Member since Jan 2005
5448 posts
Posted on 1/21/21 at 1:25 pm to
Try to divide everything without the lawyers. You’re still young enough to find love.
Posted by geauxbrown
Louisiana
Member since Oct 2006
22704 posts
Posted on 1/21/21 at 1:26 pm to
First off, I'm sorry to say there is a better than average chance of Jody.

Secondly, it's going to get much worse before it gets better. If you are like me, I felt the need to fight to save my marriage. You will go through the stages. Look them up.

You will feel as though you will never come out on the other side, but you will and you'll be better for it.

I lost 23 pounds before I was over it.

It was the worst experience of my life and I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy.

Surround yourself with friends and family when possible. Get healthy, eat better, take better care of yourself and go slay some cougars. Don't get serious.

Good luck
This post was edited on 1/21/21 at 1:27 pm
Posted by Tangineck
Mandeville
Member since Nov 2017
2386 posts
Posted on 1/21/21 at 1:26 pm to
Honestly sounds like you expected it and have moved right on to acceptance. A new lease on life at 43 really doesn't sound bad. I think in a few years you'd have no regrets. If you have doubts give her some space immediately and watch from afar. If she thinks you don't care it should be pretty evident if there's another person.
Posted by Boudreaux35
BR
Member since Sep 2007
22281 posts
Posted on 1/21/21 at 1:26 pm to
If a wife says no to counseling, she's done!

Being debt free, good career and her "working at home" may all be negatives for you. She will claim she can't continue to work or that she must have the house to work. You've got no debt to split to balance off some money you will end up owing her because you have a good career.
Posted by TnMountaineer
Minglewood
Member since Aug 2018
3490 posts
Posted on 1/21/21 at 1:27 pm to
quote:

Damn. Are you happy? Do you want to stay together? Her unwillingness to put any effort into working it out is telling...have you asked if there is someone else? Sorry baw. It's good your kids are older if this is the end but it will still impact them greatly.


I agree. It is telling.

Am I happy? No. I haven’t been for a few months but I take my vows seriously. For better or worse. This is actually her second marriage. The kids are here from previous marriage.

I have asked. She says no. I checked phone records today. Nothing strange.
Posted by MMauler
Primary This RINO Traitor
Member since Jun 2013
22533 posts
Posted on 1/21/21 at 1:28 pm to
She's definitely been getting the BBC for about a year now.
Posted by SonOfMike
Austin, TX
Member since Oct 2007
5886 posts
Posted on 1/21/21 at 1:28 pm to
Get out, might be the best decision of your life. For it to work, both of you would need to be trying really hard to fix the communication issues.

She is not willing to work on it. Move on

ETA: you’ll be fine. Don’t make any crazy decisions right now. Focus on yourself King
This post was edited on 1/21/21 at 1:30 pm
Posted by TnMountaineer
Minglewood
Member since Aug 2018
3490 posts
Posted on 1/21/21 at 1:28 pm to
quote:

Surround yourself with friends and family when possible. Get healthy, eat better, take better care of yourself and go slay some cougars. Don't get serious.


Definitely doing that. Luckily I have a nice home gym I built during covid. I’m out there all the time. Rode my bike for ten miles yesterday.
Posted by Tyga Woods
South Central Jupiter Island, FL
Member since Sep 2016
38121 posts
Posted on 1/21/21 at 1:29 pm to
quote:

The kids are here from previous marriage.


So y’all don’t have any kids together?

Bounce right on out of there and go hunt chicks half your age at the beach!
Posted by TnMountaineer
Minglewood
Member since Aug 2018
3490 posts
Posted on 1/21/21 at 1:29 pm to
quote:

Being debt free, good career and her "working at home" may all be negatives for you. She will claim she can't continue to work or that she must have the house to work. You've got no debt to split to balance off some money you will end up owing her because you have a good career.


Her career is better. She makes more than me.
Posted by The Torch
DFW The Dub
Member since Aug 2014
23794 posts
Posted on 1/21/21 at 1:32 pm to
quote:

Today - wanting to look for lawyers together.


Forget this part, If ya'll can settle it without paying a Lawyer 5K each.

Go to the courthouse or file on-line, in Texas it's $350.00
Posted by SUB
Silver Tier TD Premium
Member since Jan 2009
23262 posts
Posted on 1/21/21 at 1:32 pm to
quote:

Am I happy? No. I haven’t been for a few months but I take my vows seriously.


A few months isn't very long when you've been together 20 years.

quote:

The kids are here from previous marriage.

Well that could change things maybe, but I'm guessing you pretty much raised them as your own.

This post was edited on 1/21/21 at 1:33 pm
Posted by TnMountaineer
Minglewood
Member since Aug 2018
3490 posts
Posted on 1/21/21 at 1:33 pm to
quote:

Well that could change things maybe, but I'm guessing you pretty much raised them as your own.


I have. Love them dearly. Even keeping the kids in my will.
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