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Started By
Message
re: Divorce..what should I do?
Posted on 1/21/21 at 1:35 pm to TnMountaineer
Posted on 1/21/21 at 1:35 pm to TnMountaineer
Divorce is like boxing.
Protect yourself at all times.
If you have joint accounts, close them out.
That means bank accounts, loans, and credit accounts.
Protect yourself at all times.
If you have joint accounts, close them out.
That means bank accounts, loans, and credit accounts.
1
Posted on 1/21/21 at 1:36 pm to TnMountaineer
quote:
Am I happy? No. I haven’t been for a few months
quote:
This is actually her second marriage. The kids are here from previous marriage.
bruh
be free
Posted on 1/21/21 at 1:36 pm to TnMountaineer
I wish I could give you good advice but I can't speak from experience like some others may. Good luck brother and keep your head up. You'll get through this.
Posted on 1/21/21 at 1:38 pm to TnMountaineer
It’s over. Move on. She’s been thinking about this for awhile. No turning back once she said this. Sorry.
Posted on 1/21/21 at 1:38 pm to TnMountaineer
quote:
kids are above 18 so no worries there,
just based on that alone, let her go.
Posted on 1/21/21 at 1:39 pm to TnMountaineer
quote:
She works at home and may leave the house once a month.
This could be the problem. Depression?
Posted on 1/21/21 at 1:40 pm to JoeNelson
quote:
Depression
Especially with her mom passing away right after Christmas.
She also told me she can’t feel vulnerable with me. Ugh.
Posted on 1/21/21 at 1:45 pm to TnMountaineer
Depression is a slippery slope. she maybe just trying to see how you respond. It makes people do crazy things. If you dont want a divorce tell her and try to work on things and just be there for her. At least you will you tried.
Posted on 1/21/21 at 1:49 pm to TnMountaineer
Get on done the road
Posted on 1/21/21 at 1:52 pm to TnMountaineer
quote:Can't fathom that......
Divorce
Been married to same gorgeous woman for 35 years...... Still as hot as it ever was even if it only happens 12 times a month (subile bragg.... Maybe 4 times,)......... I have old friends been married 4 or 5 times..... Can't fathom life without my goddess, just can't! God bless you
Posted on 1/21/21 at 1:54 pm to TnMountaineer
Go get tested for STDs ASAP
Posted on 1/21/21 at 2:00 pm to TnMountaineer
Divide the assets and bounce.
Posted on 1/21/21 at 2:12 pm to TnMountaineer
quote:
There may be a Jody, maybe not. I’ve been looking and haven’t found anything yet.
At this point, it sounds like that doesn't matter. Stop looking or it could drive you to the point of a nervous breakdown.
Divorce sucks and is the worst thing I've ever been through. However, I am much happier today than I was trying to put something back together that was irreparably broken.
You'll be fine in time, but it does take time.
Posted on 1/21/21 at 2:14 pm to TnMountaineer
She sounds like my soon to be ex (as of tomorrow actually). Refused counseling, vague as shite reasons, etc.
If you feel you need to know you did all you could to save the marriage...do that. Even though mine didn’t work out...,at least I can walk away with my head held high knowing I did everything I possibly could and gave it 200% and basically he was just a lying, cheating, selfish excuse of a man.
I’m so sorry you are going through this. It is the worst thing I have ever gone through and I don’t wish this pain on anyone.
Get a therapist for you...has helped me so much going through this.
Don’t be afraid to lean on your support network(friends, family, etc). They love you and will be there for you if you just ask. I’m eternally grateful to mine that let me call and cry my eyes out over the phone with them or text/message them when I felt like I just couldn’t go on one more day (yes...you may have dark, dark thoughts of wanting to end it all cause the pain is too much....I have several times...just know it is temporary and you will get through this).
You will go through stages. I went through denial, begging and pleading with him, depression. Now I’m at angry...which is likely a good thing cause it is fueling me to just want him out of my life for good so I can try and be happy again. He’s made the past almost 2 years utterly miserable...I need some good to look forward to.
Don’t know your faith....but I’ve tried to use this to strengthen mine. It’s been a huge source of comfort to know I’m ultimately not all alone and that better things are in store for me one day. That this pain will only make me into a stronger and better person...and hopefully a better wife to someone else.
Keep your head up. And know this....you cannot change another person’s mind...no matter how much you want to. So focus on you and what you need to do to get through this and be happy again.
Don’t get lawyers if you can avoid it. We didn’t. I think it cost him maybe $900 total (I sure as hell didn’t pay any of the costs..let that fricker pay for it if he wants this so badly).
If you feel you need to know you did all you could to save the marriage...do that. Even though mine didn’t work out...,at least I can walk away with my head held high knowing I did everything I possibly could and gave it 200% and basically he was just a lying, cheating, selfish excuse of a man.
I’m so sorry you are going through this. It is the worst thing I have ever gone through and I don’t wish this pain on anyone.
Get a therapist for you...has helped me so much going through this.
Don’t be afraid to lean on your support network(friends, family, etc). They love you and will be there for you if you just ask. I’m eternally grateful to mine that let me call and cry my eyes out over the phone with them or text/message them when I felt like I just couldn’t go on one more day (yes...you may have dark, dark thoughts of wanting to end it all cause the pain is too much....I have several times...just know it is temporary and you will get through this).
You will go through stages. I went through denial, begging and pleading with him, depression. Now I’m at angry...which is likely a good thing cause it is fueling me to just want him out of my life for good so I can try and be happy again. He’s made the past almost 2 years utterly miserable...I need some good to look forward to.
Don’t know your faith....but I’ve tried to use this to strengthen mine. It’s been a huge source of comfort to know I’m ultimately not all alone and that better things are in store for me one day. That this pain will only make me into a stronger and better person...and hopefully a better wife to someone else.
Keep your head up. And know this....you cannot change another person’s mind...no matter how much you want to. So focus on you and what you need to do to get through this and be happy again.
Don’t get lawyers if you can avoid it. We didn’t. I think it cost him maybe $900 total (I sure as hell didn’t pay any of the costs..let that fricker pay for it if he wants this so badly).
Posted on 1/21/21 at 2:16 pm to TnMountaineer
Ask about a trial separation. My son and his wife did this for about three months and they wound up back together.
Posted on 1/21/21 at 2:19 pm to Xignals
quote:
Ask about a trial separation.
If he does that make sure terms are agreed on before they separate
We did this (didn’t work for us though). But it was agreed upon how often we would see each other. If dating others was allowed (it wasn’t for us).
Basically spell out all scenarios so he doesn’t get surprised and hurt and upset cause they were not on same page about something.
ETA: OP...change your title to more than one word...thread is anchored because of single word title
This post was edited on 1/21/21 at 2:21 pm
Posted on 1/21/21 at 2:24 pm to TnMountaineer
First things first - it’s over.
My gut tells me that there’s not a physical Jody but probably an emotional online Jody who will become physical once you’re out of the picture. If there was a physical Jody, she would be afraid of you finding out and would have served you with papers already.
Lawyer shopping together should be interesting. The rubber is going to hit the road when someone starts talking about dividing up assets and you get to the house. The sensible thing to do is sell it and split the proceeds but she’ll balk because “where am I supposed to live?” “This is where our kids grew up” etc. She’ll likely want to stay there without paying you half. But who knows? Maybe she wants to move to be near emotional Jody.
If you try a separation, 100% she will get in a physical relationship with someone. Are you prepared to deal with that?
My gut tells me that there’s not a physical Jody but probably an emotional online Jody who will become physical once you’re out of the picture. If there was a physical Jody, she would be afraid of you finding out and would have served you with papers already.
Lawyer shopping together should be interesting. The rubber is going to hit the road when someone starts talking about dividing up assets and you get to the house. The sensible thing to do is sell it and split the proceeds but she’ll balk because “where am I supposed to live?” “This is where our kids grew up” etc. She’ll likely want to stay there without paying you half. But who knows? Maybe she wants to move to be near emotional Jody.
If you try a separation, 100% she will get in a physical relationship with someone. Are you prepared to deal with that?
Posted on 1/21/21 at 2:50 pm to L1C4
quote:
If you have joint accounts, close them out.
That means bank accounts, loans, and credit accounts.
This! IMMEDIATELY! Today!
Posted on 1/21/21 at 3:40 pm to TnMountaineer
quote:
I checked phone records today. Nothing strange.
Check that Snapchat
Posted on 1/21/21 at 4:10 pm to Chief Hinge
Isn’t Snapchat something that disappears quickly?
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