re: Divorce Prep

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Be honest and look yourself in a mirror.

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I've done that and continue trying to do that. I found the counselor and keep trying to resolve things. Our two biggest problems are drinking and money. The drinking has really f*cked things up.

I took a pic of her watching TV with no sound on one night which is how she watches TV drunk. The room was dark and she was just drunk staring at the screen. About a week later she didn't have a drop to drink and the kids were all around her laughing and talking. I took a pic and they all jokingly asked why am I taking the pic. I didn't say anything but showed my wide the next day and said look at the difference here. That little confrontation fixed things for the very short term before she was back drinking again.

As far as money goes, her friend is very well off. I don't make that kind of money and probably never will but she is very jealous and takes it out on me. She lets me know how inadequate I am at every opportunity because I'm not making a million a year. All the passive shite she says about us not being able to afford shite or we don't have money for that, I hear it but just let it go. No matter how much I make she'll take a shot at how much of a loser I am.

I made more than I ever have last year and she couldn't give a shite less. This year has been very hard for me work-wise and I'm on track to make the least amount ever. I'm in no financial position for this now.

My parents got divorced when I was in middle school. Basically my mom just left and moved out no warning or anything (that I could recall). My dad was the one that took care of me and was there for me. I don’t have a relationship with my mom because of that. See my dad everyday basically. So my advice is be there for your kids. They won’t forget who was there for them.

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my wife is/was a heavy drinker until the past few weeks.

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I don't think she's cheating. She's let herself go big time

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She seems to have been stockpiling cash the past year or so, as she contributes next to nothing towards the household.

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There’s a lot going on with her that’s very problematic. You probably don’t even know the full extent, and it will be even harder to prove to an outsider.

The worst part is that it has also impacted your kids. You’ve probably done what most men do, and that is put your head down and work twice as hard trying to make up for wife’s shortcomings as a mother. I’d wager you’ve also spent considerable effort shielding your kids from it, and been in a bit of denial yourself how bad she’s gotten.

Try to create a timeline of anytime her behavior, neglect, or drinking has impacted your children. Create a journal with exact dates and details. It will be harder to do with older instances.

My bet is that she won’t be able to hold off on the drinking indefinitely. She might try to slow down or hide it, but it’s there. Document each and every time it creates a problem going forward in the journal.

Drunk driving is a concern. Maybe instead of getting drunk at night like she used to do. She will start spreading it out over the course of the day. Proof of drunk driving benefits you in a divorce, but the bigger concern immediately is her behavior around your kids.

Insist on an amicus attorney for the kids. It's standard practice in Texas during a mediated divorce, and it's a pretty good indication to the court that you're putting the kids first and trying to protect them.

Your wife doesn't seem to like you, which may be why she's drinking so much. At least in Fort Bend county (TX), if you don't have evidence she's been in wrecks with the kids in the car, or getting sent home from work because she's still drunk, etc., it likely isn't going to factor in. I can tell you're probably inflating her drinking (5 White Claws in 60 minutes?)

My mom did the same thing. As I got older I realized how much a of manipulating POS she was. That when I cut ties

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or driving drunk

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This typically is enough for the courts to side with the non alky parent. I know two where the kids went to the dad b/c the moms were lunatic drunks.

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So? Let her meet with 100 divorce attorneys. You don't have to do shite if or until she files and you are served or you can just refuse service.

Either way, you can wait until the last minute to hire an attorney and see what her grounds for divorce are

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Also, if you know you're about to be in a fistfight, just keep your hands down and wait for the other guy to punch you in the face and then go from there.

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I don't want to move anywhere. I've touched every square inch of this house and yard and brought all of my kids home from the hospital here.

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Now, my kids and I love the house, neighborhood and everyone around here.

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Keep that house. Your kids need as much normality as possible right now.

Also, keeping the kids at the same school and around friends played a huge part in my getting awarded as domiciliary parent.

My situation - I never moved out. We actually "shared" the house by keeping the kids in one place. I'd stay at the house 4 days, then she'd stay at the house 4 days. It really wasn't bad at first, then her paranoia kicked in and she started accusing me of digging through her closet, etc. I then installed a deadbolt on her closet door and gave her a key. Her drinking and drug use got worse, then she fell in love, moved out, and left.

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your children's future stepfather will basically have more custody and rights to your children than you, through their mother.

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and that stepfather's income doesn't do a damn thing for reducing your child support. My ex hasn't worked in 10 years, except for cash jobs that her new husband pays her. She shows zero income on paper.

Smash the friend of the friend of hers