re: Did you marry within a similar economic threshold?

No I married up which everyone should try to do. Significant other.....Sign if I can't other...significant

Nope. I married way up. Just happened, but it was a lucky break. I was poor as shite growing up, and honestly my family made okay money, they just sucked at managing it. Learned more about finances and long term planning in one year with my wife than I ever would have from the socioeconomic upbringing I was surrounded by. Because of that I’ve been able to bring my family closer to where I am on the socioeconomic food chain and their lives are better for it as well.

The wife was a last child and the next sibling was 10 years older. By the time she was 8 she was an only child. She got everything she ever asked for.

I was a middle child to a lower income family and a poor mouther that handled the money. I'd rarely ask for anything because I "knew" mom couldn't afford it.

One of the biggest fights we ever had was 12 years ago when we needed to get new tires for an Altima(with no dents) and they were 300 bones. I told the wife we needed to wait or only replace the one bad tire. They were all bad. She was astounded because it was TIRES on a car and it was dangerous. These were things that got fixed at her house ASAP. At the Gee house we would mope for a month over replacing the one bad tire for $75.

So the difference between me and the wife were expectations for that.

The fight ended when my mom asked what we did with the other 3 tires that were "good" and we told them we let the tire shop keep them. She was pissed at us for months because they were the same tires for her car and wanted me to store them incase she needed a tire. It was really an eye opening experience for me and for my wife. She had no idea how I grew up. I realized my parents were just poor minded people, and she started to lay off of me when I would push to save more money instead of getting better "nice to have" things.

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I grew up poor/working class, and it’s painful for me to spend money sometimes even though we have money. My husband doesn’t spend outside our means, but he certainly doesn’t think about money like I do. He grew up with money and assumes it will always be there. I didn’t, and I don’t.

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To the OP, I think overall attitudes about economics cause far more issues than how a person actually grew up. Some people have a the idea that money is finite, and they must budget and save to make what is coming in work. Others have a growth mindset and don't worry about it. There will always be more. This is the argument in Rich Dad, Poor Dad.

To Pelicanpride, I can absolutely see how spending habits cause a rub. It's probably just easier for your husband to relax about it, because he was able to observe his parents making money.

But in all honesty, relationships probably work a little better if a spender is matched with a saver.

Well I’d say I married laterally.
My wife’s parents own land but also debt. They owned a farm.

My parents didn’t have much debt but probably brought in roughly the same “net” income, possibly more.

There’s never been any kind of friction.

My wife and her brother are logical, reasonable people that know not to live beyond their means.

My two SILs share a brain cell. Both are nurses (RNs) but are constantly in debt over their heads. One had to have FIL co-dign for a car loan and she cannot be counted on make the payments. She’s always over her head. If she has a choice between paying her co-signed car note or going on a trip, she’ll do the latter.

I come from a blue collar middle class family, and pretty much every girl I have ever dated came from old money-until my current one. She was adopted from Siberia at age 9 by a middle class southern woman from Huntsville.

Low and behold its the best relationship I've ever had, and I'll probably marry her.

Sort of. In my little BFE town we were 1%ers. Most other places we would be middle class. She was considered middle class for her area, even though her family had a good bit more money than mine did.

My husband's family has less money than my family. They also have WAY less fights and arguments aboutmoney than my family. I walked away from that years ago and will live poor before I let people hang money over my head.

Not even just acting proper. My family functions sometimes are dresses/coat and tie events. And you can't be intimidated by silverware.