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Dating Morality Thread: Dating with No Intention of a Serious Relationship
Posted on 4/1/15 at 9:46 am
Posted on 4/1/15 at 9:46 am
is this wrong?
i can give 2 sorts of examples that i believe are common to most people
1. an older lady who is fun, but not really a long-term option (age, kids, lack of potential to have kids, etc). we'll call her classy.
2. a younger girl who is immature with warning signs re: marriage. we'll call her the brat. not a long-term option b/c you know she'll become too demanding and is highly likely to let herself go once she gets into a settled relationship. perfect for flirty dating, but a terrible option for a LTR
is is wrong to casually date in this instance when you have absolutely no intention of any sort of real commitment, other than an exclusive sexual relationship? is there a societal pressure, expectation, and/or meme that it is immoral? there is a pervasive theme of "wasting her time" or "leading her on".
and my examples are female, but this could apply the other way. it just seems less damaging b/c females have a shorter aesthetic/breeding window than males and males have much less risk when engaging in sex (b/c no matter what, we cannot get pregnant, which is a very costly potential option).
this isn't about a "hook up" based "relationship" either. it's an exclusive thing that will never amount to major commitment and can end at any time
ADD ON: do you think a person has a duty in a relationship to tell the other person there is no long-term/serious future?
i can give 2 sorts of examples that i believe are common to most people
1. an older lady who is fun, but not really a long-term option (age, kids, lack of potential to have kids, etc). we'll call her classy.
2. a younger girl who is immature with warning signs re: marriage. we'll call her the brat. not a long-term option b/c you know she'll become too demanding and is highly likely to let herself go once she gets into a settled relationship. perfect for flirty dating, but a terrible option for a LTR
is is wrong to casually date in this instance when you have absolutely no intention of any sort of real commitment, other than an exclusive sexual relationship? is there a societal pressure, expectation, and/or meme that it is immoral? there is a pervasive theme of "wasting her time" or "leading her on".
and my examples are female, but this could apply the other way. it just seems less damaging b/c females have a shorter aesthetic/breeding window than males and males have much less risk when engaging in sex (b/c no matter what, we cannot get pregnant, which is a very costly potential option).
this isn't about a "hook up" based "relationship" either. it's an exclusive thing that will never amount to major commitment and can end at any time
ADD ON: do you think a person has a duty in a relationship to tell the other person there is no long-term/serious future?
This post was edited on 4/1/15 at 10:03 am
33
Posted on 4/1/15 at 9:47 am to SlowFlowPro
Don't care had sex
Posted on 4/1/15 at 9:48 am to SlowFlowPro
define serious relationship
is that solely co-habitation or marriage?
is that solely co-habitation or marriage?
Posted on 4/1/15 at 9:48 am to SlowFlowPro
I don't really see the point in being "exclusive" with someone if you don't have any intention of it being a serious relationship.
I don't think it's wrong though, if that's what you want to do.
I don't think it's wrong though, if that's what you want to do.
Posted on 4/1/15 at 9:48 am to SlowFlowPro
In the short term, no. If you keep dating them longer than say, 3 months or so, you should be upfront with them. A lot of women don't desire a serious relationship either. If you're upfront about your intentions and they're ok with it, then there is no moral dilemma.
Posted on 4/1/15 at 9:49 am to SlowFlowPro
quote:
is this wrong?
No
quote:
an older lady who is fun, but not really a long-term option (age, kids, lack of potential to have kids, etc). we'll call her classy.
Don't ever call her that
Posted on 4/1/15 at 9:49 am to SlowFlowPro
It's not wrong. I have never successfully maintained that status, however.
Posted on 4/1/15 at 9:49 am to SlowFlowPro
If you're upfront about it, I don't see a problem.
Posted on 4/1/15 at 9:49 am to Salmon
quote:
is that solely co-habitation or marriage?
it doesn't have to go all the way to marriage
Posted on 4/1/15 at 9:50 am to SlowFlowPro
What is this thread? What's the point you trying to make?
Is this a spinoff of another thread?
Is this a spinoff of another thread?
Posted on 4/1/15 at 9:50 am to LSUBoo
quote:
I don't really see the point in being "exclusive" with someone if you don't have any intention of it being a serious relationship.
decreased chance of STDs than randomized sexual behavior (this assumes you're logical and have seen a recent STD test of the dating partner)
Posted on 4/1/15 at 9:51 am to SlowFlowPro
quote:
it doesn't have to go all the way to marriage
but at least living together?
or is there a certain time that the relationship becomes serious?
Posted on 4/1/15 at 9:51 am to SlowFlowPro
quote:
2. a younger girl who is immature with warning signs re: marriage. we'll call her the brat. not a long-term option b/c you know she'll become too demanding and is highly likely to let herself go once she gets into a settled relationship. perfect for flirty dating, but a terrible option for a LTR
Posted on 4/1/15 at 9:52 am to SuperSaint
quote:
What is this thread? What's the point you trying to make?
it's not a point. it's a legitimate question.
quote:
Is this a spinoff of another thread?
nope. this is a classic "SFP and society" thread
Posted on 4/1/15 at 9:52 am to SlowFlowPro
I'm in this position now.
She's fine with it because I've been upfront about it
She's fine with it because I've been upfront about it
Posted on 4/1/15 at 9:52 am to Salmon
quote:
but at least living together?
no. that's serious to me.
quote:
or is there a certain time that the relationship becomes serious?
i think it's a grey area, but living together is CERTAINLY serious (unless i guess you were roomates who started to bnag each other, but that seems like more of the "hook up culture")
Posted on 4/1/15 at 9:53 am to Pilot Tiger
quote:
I'm in this position now.
thought you were married...Posted on 4/1/15 at 9:53 am to Salmon
I have a mistress
Posted on 4/1/15 at 9:54 am to Pilot Tiger
quote:
She's fine with it because I've been upfront about it
my last "relationship" was in this manner. we both agreed that if we were going to bang somebody else we'd tell the other. otherwise we'd hang out a lot and frick around some. she had eyes on a guy and told me, and there were no issues. we're still friends
Posted on 4/1/15 at 9:54 am to SlowFlowPro
quote:
i think it's a grey area, but living together is CERTAINLY serious
ok
so 2 people that are dating, exclusive, but don't live together, but say have been together for a year
are they serious?
because at some point it does become a waste of time if you are not "serious"
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