re: Colloquialisms: what are your favorites

For someone who's a tight arse:

"You couldn't pull a needle out of his arse with a tractor."

Been a big fan of "like trying to nail jello to a tree" lately

Interesting, I always hear it as “that dog don’t hunt.”

If a running back was scared my coach would say “you look like you’re running through a field of titties and you’re scared you’ll pop on”

Better stay on the porch of you're gonna piss like a puppy.

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Interesting, I always hear it as “that dog don’t hunt.”

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Yeah, I hadn't heard it that way before I met my buddy at UGA from Folkston, GA. He always used it when talking about his tee shot

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Like socks on a rooster

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Earl Long used this expression when describing the expensive suits Chep Morrison wore saying that if he wore them they'd look like "socks on a rooster."

Useless as tits on a boar hog.

All Hat no cattle.

Hotter than a go cart muffler

High as giraffe pussy

Sweating like a Mexican writing a check.

Dick so hard cant turn the skin on it with a Sears wrench

So unlucky that if it was rainin pussy Id get hit w a dick.

Nipples harder than ball bearings

tits look like biscuit dough hanging on a nail

happier than a tornado in a trailer park

dont know whether to scratch his watch or wind his arse

frick you is mine

Dry as Death eating a cracker.

So skinny she was like screwing a skeleton on a tin roof.