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re: Beef with girlfriend. Curious to hear from both genders about who's right/wrong.
Posted on 8/1/23 at 1:40 pm to Ernest T Bass
Posted on 8/1/23 at 1:40 pm to Ernest T Bass
Not reading through 17 pages to see if this was already asked or answered, but why couldn't you do both?
Tell your buddy you already had plans but that you can come help him move before, after, or on a different day than the birthday party. He should be happy with that offer and your girlfriend wouldn't be mad at you. Everybody wins.
If he's really in a tight pinch and doesn't have any other friends or family to help, tell him to go pickup a few day laborers from the Home Depot parking lot to help.
Tell your buddy you already had plans but that you can come help him move before, after, or on a different day than the birthday party. He should be happy with that offer and your girlfriend wouldn't be mad at you. Everybody wins.
If he's really in a tight pinch and doesn't have any other friends or family to help, tell him to go pickup a few day laborers from the Home Depot parking lot to help.
quote:WTF is this? I've never heard of the sellers not having to be fully out of the house before the closing. Sounds like a terrible idea. What happens when the sellers move out a week later and there's damage that wasn't there when you did the pre-closing walkthrough? Sellers say that was there when you did your inspection so its your problem now since you signed the papers a week before.
stipulates that the buyers get occupancy 7 days after closing.
1
Posted on 8/1/23 at 1:44 pm to Tiger Prawn
quote:
WTF is this? I've never heard of the sellers not having to be fully out of the house before the closing. Sounds like a terrible idea. What happens when the sellers move out a week later and there's damage that wasn't there when you did the pre-closing walkthrough? Sellers say that was there when you did your inspection so its your problem now since you signed the papers a week before.
You are correct. I have only purchased one house but I did go straight from signing the close papers to the house to start painting walls.
My guess is that instead of a 30 day close, its a 7 day close and he really means that he has 7 days to be out so they can do the pre close inspection and make it final.
Also this is 17 pages of married older guys saying try to do both and single younger guys saying "frick the gf, Bros before hos".
This post was edited on 8/1/23 at 1:46 pm
Posted on 8/1/23 at 1:48 pm to Bert Macklin FBI
quote:I've bought 3 houses. The reason it takes 30 days or so is because of all the stuff with the mortgage (loan application, underwriting, appraisal, verifying income/employment, getting insurance, title work). The only way I could see someone closing in 7 days is if the buyer was paying cash and wasn't worried about getting an appraisal done.
My guess is that instead of a 30 day close, its a 7 day close and he really means that he has 7 days to be out so they can do the pre close inspection and make it final.
Posted on 8/1/23 at 1:51 pm to Tiger Prawn
quote:
The only way I could see someone closing in 7 days is if the buyer was paying cash and wasn't worried about getting an appraisal done.
He mentioned somehwere along the line that his buddy got asking price on a cash offer.
Posted on 8/1/23 at 2:16 pm to Ernest T Bass
Is your birthday coming up or has recently passed? Maybe you just said no to your own party. 
Posted on 8/1/23 at 2:19 pm to Ghost of Colby
quote:
I’d be tempted to go just for the scenery of a bunch of 21 year olds celebrating a birthday,
Sounds like hell but I'm double that age
Posted on 8/1/23 at 2:44 pm to Ernest T Bass
quote:
if he can't find a mover.
He can find a mover. He either doesn't have the money or he's too cheap to find a mover. There is no way that movers aren't available unless you live in BFE.
A man or woman should not back out on an event they promised to attend with their SO unless it is an emergency (this isn't one). Tell him you'll help him for 6-8 hours starting at 7 AM. You're young. Your body can handle moving and then a party in one day. Sleep in on Sunday!
Posted on 8/1/23 at 2:47 pm to redneck hippie
quote:
To this day, the single event that hurt her more than anything was ditching her work Christmas party when we were first married. I still hear about it to this day.
My advice- go to the birthday party.
Because it's not about the party. It's about choosing her. It's also about how she feels while she's trying to explain to her friends/family/co-workers why you aren't there and what they will think about that.
Go to the party.
Posted on 8/1/23 at 4:01 pm to LaLadyinTx
The gf/ wife is usually “right” about everything except where you live to follow your career. If you can’t live with that you need a less demanding partner.
Posted on 8/1/23 at 4:27 pm to LaLadyinTx
quote:
Because it's not about the party. It's about choosing her. It's also about how she feels while she's trying to explain to her friends/family/co-workers why you aren't there and what they will think about that.
Go to the party.
While I dont agree with this completely, I do urge the OP to consider the ramifications. This is a 21st bday party. I cant fathom that this would be some gathering around the house. This is a likely a bunch of people that are going to go out and get hammered, the older folks using the bday as an reason, the birthday girl doing it for, well, her 21st bday. You will have zero allies present if you bail, as most are all tied to your g/f anyway, but if she pisses and moans about you, there wont be any "he's a good guy" folks to defend you. Drunken single people traveling in a pack of non single people are ID'd quickly as who to hit on. She will not be in a "pro-you" mindset.
I understand this might seem like a philosophical debate on bros vs hos, or even an opportunity to not allow her to think that she is your personal planner, but do you want your gal in that potential scenario? Even if you think she has pushed a bit far and needs to be checked, dont you want to be the checker in peace time vs the "where were you last night?" guy.
If it were me, I would not say anything more about it to her, go help your bro, leave in time to be just late enough to surprise her and when you show up tell the sister that this means too much to you to miss. If your gal is still put off, it wont be by much and if it is, you know what you have to do. You will have the court of public opinion on your side, maintain a little control of your decisions and also not have to worry about what is going on. Then, sometime later, have a discussion about things like this and how you realized you needed to adjust to be a team. Save face and the relationship. My $.02.
Posted on 8/1/23 at 5:11 pm to Hooligan33
quote:
My $.02.
I agree with all that you said except that he should fear her cheating on him. If one fight or decision is gonna result in her cheating then the relationship is doomed anyway.
Posted on 8/2/23 at 10:17 am to junkyard1
quote:
Birthday parties are for kids from 2 to 16 and old people at 50, 60, 70, 80, and so on.
Other than those milestones, its just another day.
GF needs to grow up.
help out your buddy.
This guy gets it!
Posted on 8/2/23 at 10:19 am to Hooligan33
quote:
While I dont agree with this completely, I do urge the OP to consider the ramifications. This is a 21st bday party. I cant fathom that this would be some gathering around the house. This is a likely a bunch of people that are going to go out and get hammered, the older folks using the bday as an reason, the birthday girl doing it for, well, her 21st bday. You will have zero allies present if you bail, as most are all tied to your g/f anyway, but if she pisses and moans about you, there wont be any "he's a good guy" folks to defend you. Drunken single people traveling in a pack of non single people are ID'd quickly as who to hit on. She will not be in a "pro-you" mindset. I understand this might seem like a philosophical debate on bros vs hos, or even an opportunity to not allow her to think that she is your personal planner, but do you want your gal in that potential scenario? Even if you think she has pushed a bit far and needs to be checked, dont you want to be the checker in peace time vs the "where were you last night?" guy. If it were me, I would not say anything more about it to her, go help your bro, leave in time to be just late enough to surprise her and when you show up tell the sister that this means too much to you to miss. If your gal is still put off, it wont be by much and if it is, you know what you have to do. You will have the court of public opinion on your side, maintain a little control of your decisions and also not have to worry about what is going on. Then, sometime later, have a discussion about things like this and how you realized you needed to adjust to be a team. Save face and the relationship. My $.02.
this is actually pretty sound advice.
Posted on 8/2/23 at 10:51 am to Ernest T Bass
There is a decent chance that the GF is now going to go tube steak hunting with the 21 year old while you are humping a dresser drawer up steps.
Just break up now.
Just break up now.
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