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re: ATL - Toddler Left in Car
Posted on 6/19/14 at 10:08 pm to tylercsbn9
Posted on 6/19/14 at 10:08 pm to tylercsbn9
What everyone needs to do is tell their spouse that you won't get mad if they call you to make sure you dropped them off.
Don't get offended if someone checks on you. Problem solved.
Don't get offended if someone checks on you. Problem solved.
0
Posted on 6/19/14 at 10:10 pm to TDFreak
quote:
I also blame the large SUVs. A kid in the back seat can easily be forgotten.
You can still see them, though. Assuming you are looking in your mirror from time to time, you'll see either the rear facing seat or the face of your child. If they were in the trunk, I'd absolutely buy this line of thinking. I can't tell you how often I've forgotten stuff that was really out of sight in the back of my vehicle.
quote:
I also believe the autopilot brain can happen. It's been studied and confirmed it can happen. Everyone says it won't happen to them and cast down scathing judgement on grieving parents.
I think it can to, just not with your children if you're paying a lick of attention to them.
quote:
It's a shame and a tragedy for everyone involved.
I side mostly with this child here.
quote:
Why not withhold judgement and try to use it as a teachable moment to avoid it from happening to you.
Because to hear most on this forum it's unavoidable! No amount of precaution or extra attention can prevent this...it can happen to anyone!!! But, I agree with you. even if it wasn't fully avoidable, you'd think stories like this would cement in the minds of other young parents the notion that it will NEVER HAPPEN ON MY WATCH and they'd implement strategies to make sure it doesn't. Instead, we have new or expecting parents AFRAID that it might, as if they are talking about getting hit by as asteroid.
quote:
Let the courts cast judgement.
Which is something I brought up earlier...how? Unlike nearly all other times when one person is responsible for the death of another, most seem willing if not downright eager to accept, at face value, the story given by parents...that it was merely an oversight. Even if that were true, do we wave off responsibility of parents when their kids die at their hands for other forms of negligence because losing the child is punishment enough? Of course not! That assumes it was an accident...but what if it was not? How on earth could we possibly know the difference between an absent minded parent and a murderer who used the best possible defense for their crime?
Posted on 6/19/14 at 10:12 pm to Golfer
quote:
No one is saying it's okay. Just that there isn't a person here this couldn't happen to.
I disagree, respectfully. As the the father of two children, both now grown, I am well- versed in sleepless nights, hectic mornings trying to leave the house on time, holy hell where are their diaper bags, etc. One a toddler and one an infant.
Maybe some things occurred on autopilot, but forgetting one or both in the backseat was not one of them.
Perhaps it was a bit easier then. No cell phones, no gps, no work related email to deal with 24/7. But whether or not you are/were the primary parent to run the toddler taxi, you are still the parent. As one poster said earlier....as a parent your primary job is the safety and well-being of your children and your entire family.
I am not and have never been super dad. There are certain things that come with time and age that I wish I could do over or do a better job at. But with this issue, I batted 1000%. Never did happen and never would have happened. Just the way it was. I would imagine I'm not by myself here, either.
Not saying the dad in question is evil or a psycho. But, his child is in the backseat. His first and ONLY TASK was to deliver his child from point A to point B, SAFELY.
A true tragedy for a all concerned.
Posted on 6/19/14 at 10:13 pm to CBLSU316
I used to have a pretty strong opinion about this but in a thread a year or so back Golfer actually made me realize it wasn't as cut and dried as I thought.
Posted on 6/19/14 at 10:14 pm to GeauxTigerTM
quote:
But, I agree with you. even if it wasn't fully avoidable, you'd think stories like this would cement in the minds of other young parents the notion that it will NEVER HAPPEN ON MY WATCH and they'd implement strategies to make sure it doesn't.
We just had a poster say he forgot to drop his son off at daycare on a stressful morning. Guess he sucks.
This post was edited on 6/19/14 at 10:15 pm
Posted on 6/19/14 at 10:15 pm to USMCTiger03
quote:
I used to have a pretty strong opinion about this but in a thread a year or so back Golfer actually made me realize it wasn't as cut and dried as I thought.
Yep. I had the same opinions as you did a few years ago until I started reading more about it.
Posted on 6/19/14 at 10:16 pm to Salviati
quote:
I hope that you can see the light someday.
I've done my time, so to speak. My children are now nearly 12 and 7. Unless I'm to believe I'm simply lucky and none of my hypersensitivity in regards to my children played any positive role in their not being injured in something preventable, I can only conclude that it played a large part. I see no reason to think luck had anything to do with it...unless we are defining luck as the place where opportunity and preparation meet. If so, then yes...I may very well have been lucky!
Posted on 6/19/14 at 10:17 pm to tankyank13
quote:
I don't let my infant out of my sight, most parents don't, its protection mode 24/7.
My 5 week old is in his bassinet in our room and my wife and I are in the living room watching the baseball game with a monitor. You don't do this?
Posted on 6/19/14 at 10:23 pm to Golfer
quote:
Because they have convinced themselves that they did go to daycare, or that the other parent brought them. We don't see it happen because it takes a perfect storm of happenings for it to end up in death. It's called the "Swiss cheese" theory iirc.
I don't think anything of that theory supports the notion that this kind of autopilot can be transposed across the human race though
I'm not saying it's not possible for some, but those people more than likely have some kind of variable that enables this kind of lapse, given the billions of other similar transactions that transpire concurrently.
This post was edited on 6/19/14 at 10:24 pm
Posted on 6/19/14 at 10:24 pm to The Third Leg
This can happen to anyone, if you're retarded.
Posted on 6/19/14 at 10:24 pm to Golfer
quote:
We just had a poster say he forgot to drop his son off at daycare on a stressful morning. Guess he sucks.
Are you suggesting I say he's Father of the Year for not noticing a SEVEN YEAR OLD in the back seat? Does he have a working rear view mirror? How in the holy hell can you drive and NOT see a seven year old in the back seat of your car?
I can ALMOST see making a case for an infant that's a sleep in a rear facing car seat because you don't see their face while driving. ALMOST. But once they spin around and you can, with only the slightest bit of effort, look them in the face, no...sorry.
And a 7 year old? Come the frick on. I'd never allow my 7 year old to sit in the back for more than a few minutes of we were along driving together without talking to him. I actually like the kid and we enjoy each other's company.
Posted on 6/19/14 at 10:26 pm to GeauxTigerTM
We get it. You've never fricked up with your kids. Congrats.
This post was edited on 6/19/14 at 10:27 pm
Posted on 6/19/14 at 10:28 pm to GeauxTigerTM
quote:
Are you suggesting I say he's Father of the Year for not noticing a SEVEN YEAR OLD in the back seat? Does he have a working rear view mirror? How in the holy hell can you drive and NOT see a seven year old in the back seat of your car? I can ALMOST see making a case for an infant that's a sleep in a rear facing car seat because you don't see their face while driving. ALMOST. But once they spin around and you can, with only the slightest bit of effort, look them in the face, no...sorry. And a 7 year old? Come the frick on. I'd never allow my 7 year old to sit in the back for more than a few minutes of we were along driving together without talking to him. I actually like the kid and we enjoy each other's company.
I live five minutes from my office and was on a concall. It's really not hard. I'm sure you're mr. Perfect and never fricked up.
This post was edited on 6/19/14 at 10:29 pm
Posted on 6/19/14 at 10:36 pm to Golfer
quote:
Yep. I had the same opinions as you did a few years ago until I started reading more about it.
Same, but then I educated myself and read a couple of very long and we'll done news/documentary articles (I know for sure one came from here) on it and I now tend to believe that it's just a horrible accident. But like all things the people the most uneducated about the topic are the ones making the biggest stink about it.
Posted on 6/19/14 at 10:43 pm to GeauxTigerTM
I'm a pretty involved parent, and I've picked my 7 hr old daughter and my 3yr old son up from summer camp or a relatives house that's about 40 MI uses away before and forgotten they were back there.
One instance she talking to me then she feel asleep, and I forgot she was back there for a minute. Same thing with my son. I didn't leave them car or anything but if you can space of four a bit while driving then have the right sequence of events take place, phone calls, emails etc. I can 100% see how it could happen.
One instance she talking to me then she feel asleep, and I forgot she was back there for a minute. Same thing with my son. I didn't leave them car or anything but if you can space of four a bit while driving then have the right sequence of events take place, phone calls, emails etc. I can 100% see how it could happen.
Posted on 6/19/14 at 10:45 pm to Golfer
quote:
We get it. You've never fricked up with your kids. Congrats.
Again...not endangering them is NOT cause for celebration...it ought to be the default.
That being said, my wife and I absolutely DID frick up royalty once with our first born. We were still an apartment while building our house and our son was just about 2 and finally able to reach door handles. Up until that point there had been no need to lock doors when we were in the place during the day, or to have gotten child protective handles.
Then one morning we glanced at the front door and saw him reach the handle for reals, and we commented to each other that we needed to get the handles that day. We saw it, and still neither of us thought to go and make sure the door was locked.
Flash forward an hour or so and we notice that it's been quiet in the living room for a few minutes where he had been playing with some blocks while we were a few feet away in the kitchen. We looked and realized the front door was wide arse open.
We panicked and sprinted out the door, and he wasn't right there! She went one way, I wen the other and panic was setting in. I ran towards the pool and didn't see him so I started darting in and out between buildings. After a handful of minutes my wife and I ran into each other, and neither of us had him. We were terrified, because even though he hadn't been gone long, he had been gone long enough to make the search radius terrifyingly large given how close we were to a very large and busy street in Lafayette. We each took off again in different directions and for what felt like 10 minutes we hollered and looked. FINALLY I came around a corner and saw him standing next to my vehicle, which is really east to spot. I screamed at him to stay put and he did. He wasn't talking much at that time so he never really told us what he was doing, but given he was standing next to my vehicle the assumption was that he walked out and went straight to my vehicle to take a ride.
Maybe that's why I'm so strident about going the extra mile in preventing preventable tragedies. Though it would have taken some doing on him part, he could have made it to the main drag and been run over. To this day nearly 10 years later any time I pass that place I get chills thinking of what could have been...all because did not do what I should have done.
I'm not perfect...I never claimed to be. What I am is as diligent as I reasonably can be, and it's my belief that being so has undoubtedly helped to prevent other problems that could have arisen.
I have no interest in arguing this anymore. I had no intention of coming back to it tonight. I assumed it would have been gone by the time I got back to the board, but it was still here so I waded in. My only hope is that some here do hear that it IS worth the time and effort to attempt to pay better attention...
Posted on 6/19/14 at 10:48 pm to brass2mouth
quote:
Same, but then I educated myself and read a couple of very long and we'll done news/documentary articles (I know for sure one came from here) on it and I now tend to believe that it's just a horrible accident. But like all things the people the most uneducated about the topic are the ones making the biggest stink about it.
Again, how does this transpose this apparent condition or state of mind as a possible outcome across the human race? Nobody wants to really answer that question here. This is very rare, even though similar acts are completed by he billions.
Of course it's an accident, much of life is. Accidents can still be deemed negligent.
Posted on 6/19/14 at 10:51 pm to GeauxTigerTM
Given that this happened to you I find it crazy to think you are chastising others for their mistakes like yours. Especially since you knew something was wrong.
Posted on 6/19/14 at 10:54 pm to Golfer
Do you guys ever read theories like this and think about how Twenty thousand years ago when your baby crawled off it was eaten by a Lion.
Posted on 6/19/14 at 10:58 pm to Golfer
quote:
Given that this happened to you I find it crazy to think you are chastising others for their mistakes like yours. Especially since you knew something was wrong.
Mostly because the only similarity is that they involved children. We did not forget he was in the home. He was playing within ear shot and we had put eyes on him minutes before. This was the first day we truly saw it was an issue and had not yet had a chance to fix it with protective handles. The only oversight was not being proactive enough to simply walk over and lock the door.
I beat myself up over it, because I'm naturally a worrier. I spend way too much time worrying about "what ifs." I was not comparing the two in any way. By that time he had gone though his time in a rear facing seat and had been forward facing for a year. In all the time leaving him in the car never once came close to happening for all the reasons I've already explained. I simply relayed this story because, you and others, seem to think that suggesting the wild notion that it IS possible to NOT leave a child in a car is akin to declaring oneself a super parent who's done no wrong.
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