re: Anyone ever "aced" the house to show your wife who is boss?

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Hypothetically she's been on your arse with the complaining and nagging

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You got to get it through to them that their nagging has no bearing over whether or not you do something.

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and she goes shopping

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And you pop open a beer and turn on the game...

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comes home expecting to jump your arse because she knows the house will be messy

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She shouldn't have left it that way...

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...but! You turn the tables by Acing that mother so clean she literally can't speak when she returns.

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Best not to raise the bar, one good romp around the bedroom isn't worth her realizing that you can be quite productive inside the house in addition to your normal man duties if you just got off your arse while she goes shopping with her friends.

If you want to score surprise brownie points, best to do 2 or 3 things that take somewhere between 30-45 seconds of your time and talk about them like you slaved all day: "Honey! I changed the light bulb in your closet and pulled the hair out of the shower drains...."

I just piss in every corner of the house so that she knows who's boss...

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she goes shopping

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You mean pole dancing a BBC.