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re: Anyone else have stories of cheap relatives?
Posted on 12/21/21 at 10:37 am to East Coast Band
Posted on 12/21/21 at 10:37 am to East Coast Band
I'm of the mindset that if you invite people to stay at your home, you do so on your dime. Certainly, it would be nice for your guest to offer to cover some of the expenses of their stay at your home. But it should not be expected.
However, that doesn't mean when we do something outside of the home I'm expecting to cover all of those expenses. I don't mind picking up the tab at a restaurant for my guests once or twice...but I'm not planning on doing it EVERYTIME we go out to eat.
Also, I'm not footing the bill for your fricking dog(s). I invited people, not animals, to come stay at my home. If you insist on bringing them, then you can feed them, care for them, pick up dog shite. I did not invite you so I could also take care of your dog. That is your responsibility. If I wanted to take care of a dog...I'd have a dog.
Fortunately, my in-laws are good people and NEVER expect my wife and I to fully cover all of the expenses. In fact, they will get upset when we do pay for things. That mindset is why my wife and I are happy to cover their expenses when they visit. They don't expect us to pay for them, but they show gratitude when we do and reciprocate when we visit them.
However, that doesn't mean when we do something outside of the home I'm expecting to cover all of those expenses. I don't mind picking up the tab at a restaurant for my guests once or twice...but I'm not planning on doing it EVERYTIME we go out to eat.
Also, I'm not footing the bill for your fricking dog(s). I invited people, not animals, to come stay at my home. If you insist on bringing them, then you can feed them, care for them, pick up dog shite. I did not invite you so I could also take care of your dog. That is your responsibility. If I wanted to take care of a dog...I'd have a dog.
Fortunately, my in-laws are good people and NEVER expect my wife and I to fully cover all of the expenses. In fact, they will get upset when we do pay for things. That mindset is why my wife and I are happy to cover their expenses when they visit. They don't expect us to pay for them, but they show gratitude when we do and reciprocate when we visit them.
2
Posted on 12/21/21 at 10:38 am to truthbetold
quote:I'm 51. My dad gets pissed if I grab the check before he does.
This thread has opened my eyes to the parents still paying for everything theme. I didn't realize that was the standard.
Posted on 12/21/21 at 11:01 am to Alt26
Reading some of this thread and reminded how awesome my in laws are. They don’t make much but offer any help whatsoever and try to cover the check when we go out to eat. Me and FIL do split it up sometimes and if we take them out somewhere nice I will cover but we have a good understanding.
Posted on 12/21/21 at 11:04 am to East Coast Band
My grandparents were tight with money, but they grew up during the Depression so I couldn't blame them.
Posted on 12/21/21 at 11:05 am to Alt26
quote:
I'm of the mindset that if you invite people to stay at your home, you do so on your dime. Certainly, it would be nice for your guest to offer to cover some of the expenses of their stay at your home. But it should not be expected.
However, that doesn't mean when we do something outside of the home I'm expecting to cover all of those expenses. I don't mind picking up the tab at a restaurant for my guests once or twice...but I'm not planning on doing it EVERYTIME we go out to eat.
When we travel with family every summer, we take turns picking up dinner or cooking for the group. With several families there, it is easier than dealing with everyone getting their own check when we go out to crowded beach restaurants. My mom's new husband usually lets us buy dinner since we're staying at his sister's place for free. I have no problem with that, but apparently some in the family were wondering why they weren't paying for dinner at least once. I mean, they went down ahead of us, bought a ton of groceries for everyone, and we're staying there for free. I don't mind paying $200 for dinner if we go out. I know we spent way more than that on groceries.
Posted on 12/21/21 at 11:05 am to tigergirl10
quote:
As a woman,
quote:
tigergirl10
Never fails
As a man, I find your insistence on starting nearly every post with "as a woman" highly suspect... Walt.
Posted on 12/21/21 at 11:34 am to beerJeep
quote:This is my family all day everyday but with no rhyme or reason. Spend a lot on dinner. Serve it on paper plates and put plastic utensils in the dishwasher. Spend a ton on Disneyworld tickets and eat squished pb&j out of a backpack. It is mind blowing.
My grandparents are multimillionaires and my grandma washes and reuses ziplock bags
Posted on 12/21/21 at 12:10 pm to madamsquirrel
quote:
This is my family all day everyday but with no rhyme or reason. Spend a lot on dinner. Serve it on paper plates and put plastic utensils in the dishwasher. Spend a ton on Disneyworld tickets and eat squished pb&j out of a backpack. It is mind blowing
That mindset is a big reason of why they accumulated wealth. Spend on the things that matter. Save on the things that don't.
The food is the most important item. Does it taste any better or worse if it is eaten from a paper plate or with a re-washed plastic fork? (Unless you are hosting a somewhat formal dinner party where the atmosphere is important as well)
Same for Disney. They are there to experience the park and probably don't care about the food (I know Disney has some good places to eat, but it's not really why I'm there).
Posted on 12/21/21 at 12:24 pm to Gee Grenouille
quote:
I know they’d used the checks meant for my bother and I to buy most of those presents. And all they got for us was a pack of fricking tube socks. frick everyone of them.
Are these people still alive? I'd like to go shite in their cereal.
Grandparents are dead. Uncle I lived with is alive but has severe brain damage from a car wreck, he was drunk of course. One of the other aunts either shot herself or was killed by her husband. One cousins died of OD, another from diabetes, which runs rampant through that family. This fact, namely the diabetes, has lead me for years to believe the man who is supposedly my father is not actually my father. There are other physical characteristics shared by virtually all of the member of that family with the only exception being me. It gives me comfort to believe I’m not actually related to them.
Posted on 12/21/21 at 12:25 pm to East Coast Band
On our summer family get together vacations we usually go out somewhere nice to eat on the last night.
I've got a BIL that will "get the check next time". It's been 23 years
I've got a BIL that will "get the check next time". It's been 23 years
Posted on 12/21/21 at 12:41 pm to shadowdancer
quote:
I have a couple of older relatives who tip 10% and who brush off my "I'll cover the tip" offer. I always try to slide cash to the waiter or waitress. I sometimes think that they are probably on to me.
I hope you're not going to the same restaurant every time.
Posted on 12/21/21 at 12:45 pm to beerJeep
quote:
My grandparents are multimillionaires and my grandma washes and reuses ziplock bags
My wife’s grandparents are the same. They wash aluminum foil as well
Posted on 12/21/21 at 12:45 pm to tigergirl10
quote:
As a woman, I would never do that to my daughter and her husband. That’s rude and inconsiderate that they expect you to feed them.
As an Admiral in the Portuguese Navy and semi-pro dirt track racer, I concur.
Posted on 12/21/21 at 1:05 pm to 777Tiger
quote:
offers to pay her for the leftovers
Well that's just odd. She wanted leftovers so badly she was willing to pay for them?
Posted on 12/21/21 at 1:18 pm to East Coast Band
Some of y'all need to nut up and offend some people. I'm not scared to call a family member out when they're slipping.
Posted on 12/21/21 at 1:31 pm to East Coast Band
Most of my cheap relatives have gone to heaven. What they all had in common was living through the Great Depression, World War II, and financial uncertainty while young.
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