re: Anybody got any good office Christmas party stories?

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I got drunk and got a titty job from one of the admins.

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He put it between your man boobs?

I faked a work injury to get on workers comp for about 6 months, it was really like a 6 month long pain medication/booze bender. I ended up in jail for a few months and cleaned myself up in time to see my children for Christmas. Amends were made and I was about to have my life back on track until I found out that my testicular cancer had returned the week before Christmas. I had to have surgery on my sole buddy and he had to come out. It was a tough time in my life, but I did win the Christmas party karaoke competition singing Boston's " More than a Feeling" because I could finally hit that high note. Now I don't have to worry about birth control...silver lining to every cloud.

If you have a Christmas party that includes alcohol and you have employees from Livingston or Ascension, expect them to get way too fricked up and cause a scene.

I saw tongue swallowing by a man and woman each married to others. Ooooooh!

quite a few years ago my husband's company had an overnighter where they paid for everyone to stay the night at the fairmont in downtown dallas... The start of the party was in the hotel and was pretty tame until the hypnotist show where a few of the volunteers actually did get hypnotized, both were 30s-40s mom-types. One woman got so freaked out that people were trying to attack her that she cried for an hour straight, and then one poor woman slipped out of her chair while under a trance and landed on the floor spread eagle, dress up around her waist (and she was going commando that night). She didn't immediately come out of it and her husband had to run up there and cover her with his jacket.

Later everyone decided to go to a swanky bar and one partner threw down his card and told the other partner to keep it reasonable and only open for the next hour before he headed back to the hotel. The second partner got schnockered and passed out in a booth and a few of the younger sales guys took that opportunity to invite their friends to come partake in the fun. Bottle after bottle was ordered. At some point a friend of one of the employees who showed up saw someone he didnt know (who actually was an employee) drinking from one of the bottles and started screaming at him. This turned into an all out fist fight that more people got involved in and poured into the street. I saw at least 2 people arrested and an ambulance was called for someone's date who got jacked in the face in the mess of it. At this point the second partner wakes up to be presented with a $10K+ bar bill. At first he refuses to sign the bill and starts trying to figure out who was responsible, but then calls partner number one and after that convo angrily tabs out with no further discussion.

Find out years later that the reason he paid it without protest was that (married) partner number 1 had left to go hook up with partner number 3 and didn't want it to turn into a credit card charge dispute that would tip off his wife that he wasn't actually there when everything went down.

TLDR: Saw a vagina, five figures worth of bottle service, bar fight, arrests, ambulance, married partner hooking up with other partner

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MoarKilometers

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Why did you feel the need to tell us you got arrested for growing weed to tell this story? It’s not even related to the Christmas party part

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How does something like this even begin?

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.

No one could ever figure that part out. No one saw them talking and they did not really work together in the office. Amazing what alcohol can do.

I once saw a guy really hurt a coworkers feelings a Christmas party because he wouldn't try the cookies she made. He had a legitimate peanut allergy but she was inconsolable.

My secretary's daughter climbed onto the xerox machine in the copy room and thereafter presented me with a scotch-taped replica of her entire body. Could have had the mother-daughter experience, but I wasn't drinking and was aware of all the possible negative consequences.