re: Alzheimers: Has anyone experienced it with a parent and willing to share experiences?

Prayers sent bud. Its rough. Just do your best.

Very sorry you are going through this. A great many others have and I'm sure you will find that they are willing to listen and tell you their stories. There is no cure and there is no single answer on how to deal with it.

I took care of my mom for about 8 years after my father died. He kept telling me that she had dementia. I didn't really see it until he passed. I found myself repeating "she's doing the best she can, are you?" a lot.

It's a tough row to hoe.

Sorry man. I can't think of many things more stressful or heartbreaking than Alzheimers. No way to cut around it, shite's awful. I didn't experience it with a parent, but Grandma Clamp had it for about 3 years so I was her caretaker when I was off from school. Be patient, it'll take a lot of time.

Alzheimer's is horrible. It attacks the entire family.

The strain your mom is under might be unimaginable. If it is at all an option, professional assistance (in-home care) may be last respite before a nursing home.

Obviously, the later is not an attractive idea. Your mom needs some external help and regular relief from the constant ordeal in order for the needed level of care to be sustainable.

Honestly, I'm sure your dad is a good man, and was a good father for you. This disease will take him and there's not much I know we can to do to fight it, but you can minimize and remediate the trauma it's putting on your mom. Get her some professional hired help.

As for the disconnection to reality, I don't have any good advice to that. I tried reminding them of the current state of affairs and why their inquiry didn't make sense as quickly and respectfully as I could.

It is genuinely the most heart breaking disease imaginable. My father was 93, just short of 94 when he died from it. He had me at 70. He developed it when he was 82 when I was 12. Got worse and worse. It sucks man. He really started going downhill at 88 during my freshman year at LSU.

At first it was "did you feed the dog" 10 times a day to him not being able to function when it went down hill. He was an incredibly smart man so it was heartbreaking. He forgot who I was and was no longer able to recognize me. It sucks and still sucks nearly 4 years after his death.

It is only going to get worse man but be there and play along with his questions as long as possible. It is frustrating but I promise you it is better than being aggressive or telling him "no." Love on him as much as humanly possible. He won't remember but you will.

Praying for you and your sister and the rest of your family.

I lost my Father to it last year.

Best advice I ever heard was from a really good nurse. She said it’s best to climb in the boat with them and help them row. What that meant was not to correct them but rather just have the conversation with them and let them express themselves even though their confused.

Try talking about old memories because they’re more likely to have better recall.

Make them safe and comfortable.

Try to allow them to die mercifully by using Hospice when that time comes.

Grandfather has it currently. Wouldn’t wish it on anyone. I don’t cry often, but I tear up after I get off the phone with him. I can hear my grandmaw in the background having explain who am to him

My neighbor didn't do much for his mom, but when he went to see her and realized that she was leaving all the windows and doors open, with the AC on, and raccoons, squirrels, and possums had moved in with her, his wife convinced him that they had to do something. He found an assisted living place for her and loaded her up in the car. He told her they were going on a vacation. He got to the assisted living place, walked her in the lobby, told her he would be right back to check into the "hotel" after he parked the car. He then drove home. On their instructions, he came back three weeks later. She had gotten over the initial anger, acclimated to the new place, and found her a boyfriend.

Same sort of thing happened with my grandfather. The short memory becomes a blessing in that setting