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Message
re: Alcoholism: Why it sucks.
Posted on 5/7/14 at 12:02 pm to dnm3305
Posted on 5/7/14 at 12:02 pm to dnm3305
quote:
I consider that obese person to be mentally weak.
Are you saying a mental illness is a weakness or that it's not an illness at all?
quote:
The point is, alcohol isnt the problem. It's the other stuff that's buried in a person's mind that needs to be talked about and worked on so that they dont feel the NEED to bury it with alcohol anymore.
That's pretty much the point of AA or any recovery. It's getting them to stop self medicating to get to that point is the hard part.
1
Posted on 5/7/14 at 12:05 pm to dnm3305
quote:
The point is, alcohol isnt the problem. It's the other stuff that's buried in a person's mind that needs to be talked about and worked on so that they dont feel the NEED to bury it with alcohol anymore.
I agree with this, but it is a long process that sometimes isn't complete before it is too late.
quote:
Why does 1 have to lead to 12? Why not say after no.3,
Some people are just wired differently and can't do this and to say that they are mentally weak for not being able to resist dismisses the deep psychological issues that person has.
Posted on 5/7/14 at 12:11 pm to FT
quote:
if I have one drink I'll keep going until I'm almost passed out.
Never understood this one. I drink one beer at my house nearly every night. If I go out, I have to force-down a third or forth drink. Being buzzed is cool, being drunk is horrible.
When I'm drunk, I : say stupid shite, do stupid things, wake feeling half-dead.
Posted on 5/7/14 at 12:12 pm to dnm3305
quote:
alcohol isnt the problem. It's the other stuff that's buried in a person's mind that needs to be talked about and worked on so that they dont feel the NEED to bury it with alcohol anymore.
Yes, it is. You're making the assumption that all alcoholics or addicts are there because of some previous emotional issue. This isn't always the case.
Posted on 5/7/14 at 12:17 pm to Cdawg
quote:
Are you saying a mental illness is a weakness or that it's not an illness at all?
Im saying we, as a society, need to stop labeling a mental weakness AS a mental illness.
Posted on 5/7/14 at 12:23 pm to dnm3305
Anybody that thinks there's not a physical component to chemical addiction is one ignorant motherfricker.
Posted on 5/7/14 at 12:25 pm to SabiDojo
quote:
Yeah, I don't subscribe to the "only alcoholics can help other alcoholics get sober" philosophy.
One more aspect of AA that I think is very dangerous.
Posted on 5/7/14 at 12:36 pm to LucasP
I'm very lucky I've never become an alcoholic (or at least I don't think I am at this point). I've been wasted many times like alot of folks, but in general I am a "light switch" drinker. If I decide I don't want to drink, I just won't, and don't feel an overwhelming urge to drink. If I am drinking and decide I want to just stop mid-drink because I feel I've had enough, I can do that as well.
One of my best friends was drinking grips of vodka each day and went through his rock bottom scenario. He eventually ended up joining AA. The program has worked wonders for him.
One of my best friends was drinking grips of vodka each day and went through his rock bottom scenario. He eventually ended up joining AA. The program has worked wonders for him.
Posted on 5/7/14 at 12:38 pm to dnm3305
quote:
dnm3305
quote:
Does she have the OPPORTUNITY to just say no and not bring the drink to her lips? Yes she does. She CHOOSES not to say no. No one forced her. That's what Im getting at, and why I dont understand it.
I completely get your point and where you are coming from. I felt the same way you did until recently. YOu will never understand until you deal with an alcoholic/addict on a daily basis. Hell some days I still think its just mental weakness. But it is a disease. Period.
Posted on 5/7/14 at 12:40 pm to FT
quote:
Do you ever just crave a food and feel like no other food will do?
honestly no.
Posted on 5/7/14 at 12:40 pm to LucasP
quote:
One more aspect of AA that I think is very dangerous.
I never heard that mentioned in AA. In fact, most folks I know who've been through AA did it in conjunction with some other form of treatment.
AA doesn't work for some, it works for others. If it doesn't work, don't do it. If it works, hang on with all you have.
Posted on 5/7/14 at 12:41 pm to Sayre
People who are not compulsive type personalities, addicts, etc. can't understand.
There are many different forms of addiction/alcoholism. Physical, mental. Non-addicts see a functioning alcoholic and say "Just don't drink." I was a binge drinker. It never affected my job, but when I did drink, it put a strain on my relationships. I was the life of the party and if I had one glass of wine, I was gonna have as much as I could find. I ENJOYED the physicality of being drunk. Every time I drank (about once a week in the beginning) I blacked out. The next day was wrought with guilt and fear. But everyone assured me "You were so much fun!"
I stayed sober for two years. Flipped a switch, it was easy. I had motivation, the potential loss of a very important relationship. Then, because so much time had passed, I thought "I can handle it again." Wrong. I was still that binge drinker. Nothing to do with maturity, or running from demons. I simply LIKED being drunk. And if one more drink could give me an even more intense feeling, then hell yeah!
I have been skydiving, raced motocross, and generally like adrenaline fueled behavior. Drinking was risky, and it satisfied this urge to "live on the edge". It was also gonna get me or someone else hurt or killed.
I have been sober for 3 months. It is hard in this state. Everything is a party, alcohol is the host. I am angry that I don't have the capacity to have a glass of wine at a nice dinner. But I understand who and what I am.
I don't agree with saying "Hi, I'm Liz and I'm an alcoholic" if I have been sober for 20 years. But AA has its place. Hearing people share what they go through is very valuable. It's a support system. Some people replace their addiction with a new one - AA. And, that seems like an ok trade.
I want to be my own higher power. To have the strength and grace to accept and love who I am. So, cheers to those of you that can drink happily and in moderation. I will attend your parties and have a great time. Just don't make a big deal out of me not drinking. Good luck to all of you that are fighting to be better. I know it's tough.
There are many different forms of addiction/alcoholism. Physical, mental. Non-addicts see a functioning alcoholic and say "Just don't drink." I was a binge drinker. It never affected my job, but when I did drink, it put a strain on my relationships. I was the life of the party and if I had one glass of wine, I was gonna have as much as I could find. I ENJOYED the physicality of being drunk. Every time I drank (about once a week in the beginning) I blacked out. The next day was wrought with guilt and fear. But everyone assured me "You were so much fun!"
I stayed sober for two years. Flipped a switch, it was easy. I had motivation, the potential loss of a very important relationship. Then, because so much time had passed, I thought "I can handle it again." Wrong. I was still that binge drinker. Nothing to do with maturity, or running from demons. I simply LIKED being drunk. And if one more drink could give me an even more intense feeling, then hell yeah!
I have been skydiving, raced motocross, and generally like adrenaline fueled behavior. Drinking was risky, and it satisfied this urge to "live on the edge". It was also gonna get me or someone else hurt or killed.
I have been sober for 3 months. It is hard in this state. Everything is a party, alcohol is the host. I am angry that I don't have the capacity to have a glass of wine at a nice dinner. But I understand who and what I am.
I don't agree with saying "Hi, I'm Liz and I'm an alcoholic" if I have been sober for 20 years. But AA has its place. Hearing people share what they go through is very valuable. It's a support system. Some people replace their addiction with a new one - AA. And, that seems like an ok trade.
I want to be my own higher power. To have the strength and grace to accept and love who I am. So, cheers to those of you that can drink happily and in moderation. I will attend your parties and have a great time. Just don't make a big deal out of me not drinking. Good luck to all of you that are fighting to be better. I know it's tough.
Posted on 5/7/14 at 12:45 pm to liz18lsu
quote:
I have been skydiving, raced motocross, and generally like adrenaline fueled behavior. Drinking was risky, and it satisfied this urge to "live on the edge". It was also gonna get me or someone else hurt or killed.
I can understand this. I was so damn arrogant that I thought I was the one person on the planet you could avoid/beat it no matter how close to the edge I got.
Posted on 5/7/14 at 12:46 pm to RogerTheShrubber
quote:
AA doesn't work for some, it works for others. If it doesn't work, don't do it. If it works, hang on with all you have.
Spot on.
Posted on 5/7/14 at 12:50 pm to dnm3305
quote:
Im saying we, as a society, need to stop labeling a mental weakness AS a mental illness.
Is depression a weakness or illness? Is Anorexia a weakness or illness? Is Claustrophobia a weakness or illness? Is narcissism a weakness or disorder? Is PTSD a weakness or disorder?
Which ones are weaknesses?
Posted on 5/7/14 at 1:14 pm to Cdawg
quote:
Is depression a weakness or illness? Is Anorexia a weakness or illness? Is Claustrophobia a weakness or illness? Is narcissism a weakness or disorder? Is PTSD a weakness or disorder?
Which ones are weaknesses?
Depression - weakness
Anorexia - weakness
Claustrophobia - weakness
PTSD - neither
Posted on 5/7/14 at 1:21 pm to dnm3305
quote:
Depression - weakness
Anorexia - weakness
Claustrophobia - weakness
PTSD - neither
I am glad you don't have any flaws, but it is truly sad to see how out of touch you are. Look, I grew up with a mom who didn't allow fear, so I thought with everything, I should just "get over it". I saw other people with a phobia, depression, addiction and thought they were weak.
Depression is not a weakness. It isn't just feeling sad and sorry for yourself. For you to simplify these things shows a complete lack of understanding, and frankly, empathy on your part. When the chemicals in someones brain causes them to have urges that possibly put their life at risk, you think they are being WEAK? The crazy people who have ridiculous plastic surgery - you think they are normal? The girl who throws up everything she eats, she seems like a well-adjusted individual? The parent who lost an infant and considers suicide should just "get over it" right? You are callous. I know, because I used to be like you.
ETA: The closest thing I can think of is public speaking. How, no matter what I tell myself, my body responds negatively to the situation. I am not weak, I don't choose to feel panicky. My brain sends signals that scream "Run!" The same way people with other phobias react to spiders, closed spaces, etc. When you fully understand how the brain and body interact with free will, call someone important, because you will make a fortune as the smartest man alive.
This post was edited on 5/7/14 at 1:26 pm
Posted on 5/7/14 at 1:22 pm to dnm3305
Doctors and people who research these problems disagree with you. You are just looking dumb now
Posted on 5/7/14 at 1:25 pm to LucasP
quote:
This is the kind of over-simplification that AA throws around that is dangerous. Say a person was dealing with clinical depression and turns to drinking to cope, there might be more to deal with than just "you're a drunk".
This was my problem. A couple years back, I went through a really rough time in life. I had always been a social drinker, but that changed at this point. For an entire 3-4 months, drinking was all I did. I'd get off work, hit happy hour, end up closing the bar, and show back up at work the next morning and repeat. I'd wake up places and have no idea how I got there. I would go days of not eating, just drinking. I didn't sleep. I started missing work.
Luckily I realized that I had a problem. I have no family near me, and my "friends" were just as bad as I was, so there was no one else to notice but me. I got treatment for the cause of my drinking: the depression. 6 months of therapy dealing with the depression and my life was back on track. 2 years later and still going strong
Posted on 5/7/14 at 1:30 pm to TigerFanInSoCal
quote:
I'd get off work, hit happy hour, end up closing the bar, and show back up at work the next morning and repeat
Man, one night of going out on the weekday for me is rough enough. I don't see how people can do it daily. Waking up at 7am hungover is horrible.
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