re: A Special Message from Christian Mothers Against Masturbation

I mean...I'm not even sure where to start...

These mothers aren't Christian. They are bat shite insane.

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self-raped her sin cave.

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Siberian Village Lost to Masturbation

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An entire village in Siberia has been swallowed into a huge crater, and masturbation is definitely the cause, leading Faithscientists say.

Leading Faithclimatetologist, Dr Skippy Enis, recently involved in an atomic meltdown explosion at B.L.U.F.F Graphcenter , and fresh from life saving surgery, explains the situation in a phone interview from the recovery room of St. Lonald Hospital: ” Huh? Y’all here again? Y’all have homes? Seriously, do y’all ever go home? ” Said Dr Enis. ” Oh yeah, that big ol’ snow-hole. yeah. Masturbation. Yes. Can I go to sleep now? ”

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B.L.U.F.F researchers have concluded this is 89% likely to have been caused by increases in Pacific Ocean temperature, caused by the over 9000 billion gallons of semen dumped annually into the ocean, by the country of Japan.

The government of Japan has refused all attempts at interviews, and refuses to give a statement, leading to the only rational conclusion: It is their fault because they are a nation of Earth-hating Masturbators.

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How to spot a masturbator

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Most normal people wash their hands as a way to stay clean and prevent the spread of harmful germs. When using the restroom, a normal person will wash their hands upon entering the restroom, so they do not spread bacteria and viruses to their genitals, while they relieve themselves afterwards. This is why non masturbators do not give themselves STDs. On the other hand, Masturbators will relieve themselves first (with soiled hands), then wash their hands afterwards. They do so, to wash away the disgust of what lives on their genitals, as well as the subconscious shame they have from being a Masturbator. Unfortunately, their lack of hygiene often times results in the spread of STDs, such as: the Clap, the Gay, Herpes, and the bad AIDS. 

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Solid gold.

Yeah, once I saw the Jesus meme, I knew for certain that it was satire. But the soldier meme had me uncertain.

So much win in that pic

Repent you damn heathens

I would hope