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A joke to start the day
Posted on 2/26/18 at 6:37 am
Posted on 2/26/18 at 6:37 am
One day, a horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking.
He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's Mercedes back to the mudhole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking!
A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer.
The horse said, "I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, "Grab my penis and pull yourself up." And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.
The moral of the story: If you are hung like a horse, you don't need a Mercedes to pick up chicks.
He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's Mercedes back to the mudhole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking!
A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer.
The horse said, "I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, "Grab my penis and pull yourself up." And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.
The moral of the story: If you are hung like a horse, you don't need a Mercedes to pick up chicks.
This post was edited on 2/26/18 at 8:19 am
16
Posted on 2/26/18 at 6:47 am to foshizzle
That's not a joke, that's my life
Posted on 2/26/18 at 6:49 am to GEAUXT
Do you fall in mud holes a lot?
Posted on 2/26/18 at 6:51 am to foshizzle
quote:
A joke to start the day
Woke up and took a leak this morning, huh?
Posted on 2/26/18 at 6:52 am to Averytiger
Nah, I'm the guy who needs a Mercedes
Posted on 2/26/18 at 6:53 am to foshizzle
I thought it was an elephant and an ant with a Corvette..?
This post was edited on 2/26/18 at 6:54 am
Posted on 2/26/18 at 6:59 am to Hangover Haven
Then why the hell am I going to work this morning?
Posted on 2/26/18 at 7:00 am to Hangover Haven
You from Alabama? Picking up ants (aunts)?
Posted on 2/26/18 at 7:04 am to Stexas
There's also a bug out there called an ant.... I dunno...
Posted on 2/26/18 at 7:10 am to Hangover Haven
Chicken —> Chick
Ant—> Aunt
Not the same humor, unless incest is your forte.
Ant—> Aunt
Not the same humor, unless incest is your forte.
Posted on 2/26/18 at 7:17 am to foshizzle
The doctor is a woman.
Wait nvm
Wait nvm
Posted on 2/26/18 at 7:23 am to Florida225
That was a long and stupid setup to shoehorn that punchline in
Posted on 2/26/18 at 7:27 am to foshizzle
quote:
The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's Mercedes back to the mudhole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking!
Holy shite! The chickens have been hiding how smart they are for years!!
Posted on 2/26/18 at 7:39 am to foshizzle
The Lord is my Shepherd. I shall not want.
This post was edited on 3/19/18 at 10:23 pm
Posted on 2/26/18 at 7:53 am to foshizzle
quote:
The moral of the story: If you are hung like a horse, you don't need a Mercedes to pick up chicks.
I know....
Posted on 2/26/18 at 8:20 am to foshizzle
quote:
The moral of the story: If you are hung like a horse, you don't need a Mercedes to pick up chicks.
I'll allow it
Posted on 2/26/18 at 8:40 am to Hogwarts
Several Racehorses are in a stable. One of them starts boasting about his track record.
"Of my last 15 races," he says, "I've won eight."
Another horse breaks in, "Well, I've won 19 of my last 27!"
"That's good, but I've taken 28 of 36," says another, flicking his tail.
At this point a greyhound who's been sitting nearby pipes up. "I don't mean to boast," he says, "but of my last 90 races, I've won 88."
The horses are clearly amazed. "Wow," says one after a prolonged silence, "a talking dog!"
"Of my last 15 races," he says, "I've won eight."
Another horse breaks in, "Well, I've won 19 of my last 27!"
"That's good, but I've taken 28 of 36," says another, flicking his tail.
At this point a greyhound who's been sitting nearby pipes up. "I don't mean to boast," he says, "but of my last 90 races, I've won 88."
The horses are clearly amazed. "Wow," says one after a prolonged silence, "a talking dog!"
Posted on 2/26/18 at 9:13 am to foshizzle
Posted on 2/26/18 at 9:21 am to foshizzle
never has a Benz... but the other part about the horse is true....
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