re: A conversation about the role of men in societies with a lack of fathers, past and present

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One of the core tenants of BLM is to destroy the nuclear family.

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Fact. It was clearly laid out. They also want other people raising the kids so they can "continue their justice work."

I mean, I struggle with it too. Because, no, it isn’t my responsibility. But, I have noticed that when you have young men in your life without present fathers, they still need and crave that guidance.

And you can ignore it because it’s not your responsibility, and then in the absence of that guiding light the darkness will creep in, and you’ll have to deal with that.

Or you can choose to do what you can to make a difference in just one or 2 or a few. And you won’t even notice it at first. But the years go by and you step back and realize you made a difference, a real difference, in someone’s life that you didn’t have to.

But, in long run it will pay dividends. One less hoodlum running the streets and causing trouble, and one more young man learning the value of work and responsibility.

The world isn’t ideal. But, we live in it, and we can curse at the darkness, or light a candle.

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My dad died when I was 7 and I never had a true step dad until I was 18. My mom worked nights as a waitress so funds were extremely tight and I was rarely supervised outside of school. Didn’t help that my mom has always been the laid back, cool mom, so I never had anyone to push me, virtually no incentive to do well in school other than to get my teachers or coaches off my back.

My middle school football coaches probably had the biggest impact on me not turning into a piece of shite. The only thing I cared about at the time was my starting spot on the team. Getting benched, doing up-downs and even getting chewed out in front of my teammates worked damn well to teach me consequences

Now I’m mid to late 20s, degree, no kids, student loans paid off, new construction as my first home, and no dept other than my mortgage.

I think people that grew up with both parents around and involved don’t realize how much of a privilege it is.

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You should be damn proud of yourself. You beat some really steep odds. Awesome story, man!

My dad's dad died when my dad was an infant. Four siblings, a broke as hell mother, just not a good situation. I can say without question that my dad's ability to play the father role was diminished due to not having anyone around to show him what fathers do. I mean, I love my dad very much, he's a great guy. But working on cars, fixing shite around the house, discussing and teaching important life lessons with my brother and I? Nah, none of that really happened. But I think we understood why, even if he never came right out and said it.

In an odd sort of way, and I imagine those of you who either lost your father at a young age or have always dealt with nothing more than a sperm donor, I think seeing the shortcomings within my father powered my brother and I to become better fathers ourselves...understanding where our own father could've done better.

Be it coaching sports, Big Brother programs, mentorships, it's incumbent upon us, as men, to make sure vulnerable kids without strong male influences get the support they need growing up. I need to do a better job of this myself.

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Or you can choose to do what you can to make a difference in just one or 2 or a few. And you won’t even notice it at first. But the years go by and you step back and realize you made a difference, a real difference, in someone’s life that you didn’t have to.

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My in-laws have neighbors who do a ton of foster care. Super nice people who feel fostering is a main mission of their service to Christ.

Man, even as an atheist who really couldn't care less about the religious part, the things these people do are incredible. I nearly tear up when he tells me stories about kids they fostered coming back later in life to thank them. He's given away a few women at their weddings, even, as he became a father-figure to them even in the short period of time fostering allows.

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Whites account for 60% of abortions...but, please, go on.

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it appears to work in white communities. I wonder why.

Blacks lead in both abortion rates, murder rates and single parent households. You can't fix people who don't want to be fixed.

All the abortion rate among "this community" tells me is they're outbreeding rabbits, and birth control is worthless to them.

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Blacks lead in both abortion rates, murder rates and single parent households. You can't fix people who don't want to be fixed.

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Lil' early for the drinking, Rog.

Also it is worth pointing out that in war torn areas (post war Europe for example) the occurrence of kids without fathers is a far smaller percentage than the black community in America. Germany lost about 46% of its male population in the war. Even if we assumed that all of those dead were fathers (they were not all fathers in reality)that doesn't compare with 80% of black fathers not being around for their children.

Also the comparison between fatherless homes in the black community and post war Europe is vastly different because in black communities the absent fathers continue to produce fatherless children, year after year, generation after generation, at an 80% rate. In post war Germany, for example, the elevated rate of creation of fatherless children was temporary and only lasted a few years.

Our society is crumbling because we subsidize the destruction of the traditional family that can support itself. The black community has been hit hardest but all families are seeing higher and higher rates of absent fathers.

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You can't fix people who don't want to be fixed.

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of course you can’t… this has nothing to do with skin pigment

But go paint with that wide brush you carry Rog and your colors start poking back out…. And it’s only 8am in Alaska

What are you babbling about? I quoted you saying you can’t fix someone that doesn’t want to be fixed. And I agreed. But that’s nuanced on an individual basis. Nothing to do with hue