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Started By
Message
Semi-annual MacGruber quote thread
Posted on 6/9/19 at 11:00 am
Posted on 6/9/19 at 11:00 am
quote:
Lt. Dixon Piper: The Legendary MacGruber. Former Navy SEAL, Army Ranger and Green Beret. Served six tours in Desert Storm, four in Bosnia, three each in Angola, Somalia, Mozambique, Nicaragua and Sierra Leone. Recipient of sixteen Purple Hearts, three Congressional Medals of Honor, seven Presidential Medals of Bravery and starting tight end for the University of Texas, El Paso.
MacGruber: That was a long time ago.
quote:
Lt. Dixon Piper : Why did he do it? Why did Cunth kill your wife? MacGruber : To this day, I have no idea. We actually all went to college together. Believe it or not, we were very close friends. Then after graduation, he got engaged to her. He asked me to be his best man and right about that time, I started banging her and mowing her box. She was actually the first person I felt comfortable enough around to let eat out my butt. Anyway, shortly thereafter, she left him for me. She was actually carrying his child at the time. I asked her to terminate it, obviously, so we could start fresh. And she agreed. We were so in love. And he took that from me.
Lt. Dixon Piper : That's really fricked up.
MacGruber : Thanks.
This post was edited on 6/9/19 at 11:01 am
10
Posted on 6/9/19 at 11:05 am to NIH
The game has changed!
Posted on 6/9/19 at 11:07 am to TheTideMustRoll
But the players are the same!
Posted on 6/9/19 at 12:05 pm to NIH
Paraphrasing here but- Piper- "it is imperative that Cunth does not get those codes" MacGruber- "oh great thanks for telling us because before you said that I thought it was a great idea that he get the codes".
Posted on 6/9/19 at 12:18 pm to Sport Wood
KFBR392KFBR392KFBR392KFBR392KFBR392KFBR392KFBR392KFBR392KFBR392KFBR392KFBR392KFBR392KFBR392KFBR392KFBR392
Posted on 6/9/19 at 12:18 pm to NIH
MacGruber:
Looks like you're keeping your bod pretty tight.
Frank Korver:
You're looking pretty good yourself.
MacGruber:
Well, everday's a workout when you gotta carry around a 20 pound python in your jeans.
Frank Korver:
You and your dick comments.
MacGruber:
It's fun to say them.
Frank Korver:
It's fun to hear them.
MacGruber:
That's why I say them.
Frank Korver:
And that's why I listen.
Looks like you're keeping your bod pretty tight.
Frank Korver:
You're looking pretty good yourself.
MacGruber:
Well, everday's a workout when you gotta carry around a 20 pound python in your jeans.
Frank Korver:
You and your dick comments.
MacGruber:
It's fun to say them.
Frank Korver:
It's fun to hear them.
MacGruber:
That's why I say them.
Frank Korver:
And that's why I listen.
Posted on 6/9/19 at 1:18 pm to NIH
You shut your butt
Posted on 6/9/19 at 1:48 pm to vilma4prez
But macgruber I’m a virgin
Not for long
Not for long
Posted on 6/9/19 at 2:58 pm to NIH
quote:
MacGruber : Okay, so once we take out the guards, Vicki will walk in dressed as Hoss, and then we'll just, you know, see what happens. You ready?
Lt. Dixon Piper : Wait. Wait, so we're just gonna wing it?
MacGruber : Piper, there's a big difference between winging it and seeing what happens. Now let's see what happens.
Posted on 6/9/19 at 3:05 pm to Roaad
Good evening ma’am. I hope you enjoy being date raped tonight
That’s my daughter
That’s my daughter
Posted on 6/9/19 at 3:18 pm to NIH
Posted on 6/9/19 at 3:25 pm to Sun God
I’m sorry. He killed my wife.
Posted on 6/9/19 at 3:36 pm to NIH
Posted on 6/9/19 at 3:37 pm to ManBearTiger
Just based on this scene Chris Jericho should be a goddamn movie superstar
Posted on 6/9/19 at 3:48 pm to NIH
What did you think of my eulogies?
Very touching...might’ve cut back on the f bombs a little
Well they were fricking great guys and this is a fricking a-hole of a day
Yeah it’s just that their kids were there
Very touching...might’ve cut back on the f bombs a little
Well they were fricking great guys and this is a fricking a-hole of a day
Yeah it’s just that their kids were there
Posted on 6/9/19 at 4:01 pm to DMagic
Let me tell you how this is gonna go down. First I'm gonna kick you in the chin, breaking your jaw in four places. I'm gonna take you and karate flip you over my back, and then knee your nose into your brain, killing you instantly. I do wanna get a throat rip in here.
Posted on 6/9/19 at 4:58 pm to SlimCharles140
Number one or number two?
Number none of your business
That means number twooooo
Number none of your business
That means number twooooo
This post was edited on 6/9/19 at 4:59 pm
Posted on 6/9/19 at 5:18 pm to DMagic
They laughed
Posted on 6/9/19 at 5:37 pm to NIH
I BET YOU WISH YOUR NOSE WAS A DICK SO YOU COULD USE IT frick BUTTS
Posted on 6/9/19 at 8:01 pm to NIH
HBO has it in their rotation right now.
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