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Started By
Message
Seinfeld Quotes Thread
Posted on 10/1/09 at 9:48 am
Posted on 10/1/09 at 9:48 am
Some of my faves from George, feel free to add on, and discuss the best TV show ever...
"I just threw away a lifetime of guilt-free sex and floor seats to every sporting event in Madison Square Garden. So, please, a little respect, for I am Costanza, Lord of the Idiots."
- George
G : "I don't want hope. Hope is killing me. My dream is to become
hopeless. When you're hopeless you don't care. And when you
care, that indifference makes you attractive."
J : "So, hopelessness is the key?"
G : "It's my only hope."
- George and Jerry, in "The Fix-Up"
"Pity's very underrated. I like pity. It's good."
- George
"I always get the feeling that when lesbians look at me, they're thinking, '*That's* why I'm not a heterosexual.'"
- George, in "The Subway"
"Borrowing money from a friend is like having sex. It just completely changes the relationship."
- George, in "The Puffy Shirt"
"This woman hates me so much, I'm starting to like her."
- George, in "The Masseuse
"Bald men with no jobs and no money who live with their parents don't approach strange women."
- George, in "The Opposite"
K : "Do you have any conceivable reason for even getting up in the morning?"
G : "I like to get the Daily News."
- Kramer and George, in "The Keys"
LINK
"I just threw away a lifetime of guilt-free sex and floor seats to every sporting event in Madison Square Garden. So, please, a little respect, for I am Costanza, Lord of the Idiots."
- George
G : "I don't want hope. Hope is killing me. My dream is to become
hopeless. When you're hopeless you don't care. And when you
care, that indifference makes you attractive."
J : "So, hopelessness is the key?"
G : "It's my only hope."
- George and Jerry, in "The Fix-Up"
"Pity's very underrated. I like pity. It's good."
- George
"I always get the feeling that when lesbians look at me, they're thinking, '*That's* why I'm not a heterosexual.'"
- George, in "The Subway"
"Borrowing money from a friend is like having sex. It just completely changes the relationship."
- George, in "The Puffy Shirt"
"This woman hates me so much, I'm starting to like her."
- George, in "The Masseuse
"Bald men with no jobs and no money who live with their parents don't approach strange women."
- George, in "The Opposite"
K : "Do you have any conceivable reason for even getting up in the morning?"
G : "I like to get the Daily News."
- Kramer and George, in "The Keys"
LINK
9
Posted on 10/1/09 at 10:00 am to BS
"The sea was angry that day my friends. Like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli" 
Posted on 10/1/09 at 10:04 am to STEVED00
Is that a Titleist?
Posted on 10/1/09 at 11:40 am to BS
quote:The Switch
JERRY: I can't. I'm not an orgy guy.
GEORGE: Are you crazy? This is like discovering Plutonium ... by accident.
JERRY: Don't you know what it means to become an orgy guy? It changes everything. I'd have to dress different. I'd have to act different. I'd have to grow a mustache and get all kinds of robes and lotions and I'd need a new bedspread and new curtains I'd have to get thick carpeting and weirdo lighting. I'd have to get new friends. I'd have to get orgy friends.
Posted on 10/1/09 at 11:52 am to PJinAtl
"I don't wanna be a pirate"
Posted on 10/1/09 at 1:21 pm to danfraz
"I wish I had the last 20 seconds of my life back."
Posted on 10/1/09 at 1:28 pm to liquid rabbit
Also from The Switch:
"Do you realize in the entire history of western civilization no one has successfully accomplished the roommate switch. In the middle ages you could get locked up for even suggesting it."
"They didn't have roommates in the middle ages."
"How do you know?"
"Well, for one thing, they didn't have apartments."
"Well, I'm sure at some point between the years 800 and 1200 somewhere there were two women living together."
"Do you realize in the entire history of western civilization no one has successfully accomplished the roommate switch. In the middle ages you could get locked up for even suggesting it."
"They didn't have roommates in the middle ages."
"How do you know?"
"Well, for one thing, they didn't have apartments."
"Well, I'm sure at some point between the years 800 and 1200 somewhere there were two women living together."
Posted on 10/1/09 at 1:43 pm to Froman
anytime Kramer says "You know my friend Bob Sacamano"
Don't know why but that gets me everytime.
Don't know why but that gets me everytime.
Posted on 10/1/09 at 1:46 pm to Froman
"Sneeze"
"You're soooooooo good looking!"
"Serenity Now!!!!"
"You're soooooooo good looking!"
"Serenity Now!!!!"
This post was edited on 10/1/09 at 1:47 pm
Posted on 10/1/09 at 3:08 pm to BS
GEORGE: Ah you have no idea of the magnitude of this thing. If she is
allowed to infiltrate this world, then George Costanza as you know him,
Ceases to Exist! You see, right now, I have Relationship George, but
there is also Independent George. That's the George you know, the
George you grew up with -- Movie George, Coffee shop George, Liar
George, Bawdy George.
JERRY: I, I love that George.
GEORGE: Me Too! And he's Dying Jerry! If Relationship George walks
through this door, he will Kill Independent George! A George, divided
against itself, Cannot Stand!
allowed to infiltrate this world, then George Costanza as you know him,
Ceases to Exist! You see, right now, I have Relationship George, but
there is also Independent George. That's the George you know, the
George you grew up with -- Movie George, Coffee shop George, Liar
George, Bawdy George.
JERRY: I, I love that George.
GEORGE: Me Too! And he's Dying Jerry! If Relationship George walks
through this door, he will Kill Independent George! A George, divided
against itself, Cannot Stand!
Posted on 10/1/09 at 3:27 pm to Someone
"YOU TELL THAT SON OF A BITCH THAT NO YANKEE BASTARD IS EVER COMING TO HOUSTON!!"
Posted on 10/1/09 at 4:49 pm to Jrv2damac
"You're killing independent George!!!"
Posted on 10/1/09 at 4:58 pm to Shiftyplus1
Jerry: Oh, well then there's still hope...
George: No. I don't want hope. Hope is killing me. My dream is to become hopeless. Cause when you're hopeless you don't care, and when you don't care, that indifference, makes you attractive.
Jerry: So hopelessness is the key?
George: It's my only hope.
Genius.
George: No. I don't want hope. Hope is killing me. My dream is to become hopeless. Cause when you're hopeless you don't care, and when you don't care, that indifference, makes you attractive.
Jerry: So hopelessness is the key?
George: It's my only hope.
Genius.
Posted on 10/1/09 at 5:06 pm to Dan In Real Life
G: And it comes to me "the pick"
J: The pick?
G: So when she walks in I'm up to my wrist!
Probably not the exact quote.
J: The pick?
G: So when she walks in I'm up to my wrist!
Probably not the exact quote.
Posted on 10/1/09 at 6:26 pm to alajones
from "the virgin"
George "I couldn't do it. They always remember their first. I dont want to be remembered, I want to be forgotten!"
George "I couldn't do it. They always remember their first. I dont want to be remembered, I want to be forgotten!"
Posted on 10/1/09 at 9:10 pm to alajones
From "The Pick":
J: "It wasn't a pick! There may have been slight, incidental nasal penetration, BUT IT WAS NOT A PICK!"
J: "It wasn't a pick! There may have been slight, incidental nasal penetration, BUT IT WAS NOT A PICK!"
Posted on 10/1/09 at 9:29 pm to hacanms
Are you still master of your domain?
Posted on 10/1/09 at 10:23 pm to BS
frank costanza has some hilarious shite
"What the hell did you trade Jay Buhner for? He had 30 home runs, over 100 RBI's last year, he's got a rocket for an arm, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL YOU'RE DOING!"
"Jerry, it's Frank Costanza. Mr. Steinbrenner's here, George is dead, call me back."
"What the hell did you trade Jay Buhner for? He had 30 home runs, over 100 RBI's last year, he's got a rocket for an arm, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL YOU'RE DOING!"
"Jerry, it's Frank Costanza. Mr. Steinbrenner's here, George is dead, call me back."
Posted on 10/1/09 at 10:24 pm to BS
"Vile weed!!"
"The cool evening breezes of Anytown, USA."
"I'm at the corner of 1st and 1st...how can a street intersect with itself? I'm at the nexus of the universe!"
Slippery Pete: The outlet?
George: Yeah, where you plug it in.
Slippery Pete: Oh, you mean the holes.
"The cool evening breezes of Anytown, USA."
"I'm at the corner of 1st and 1st...how can a street intersect with itself? I'm at the nexus of the universe!"
Slippery Pete: The outlet?
George: Yeah, where you plug it in.
Slippery Pete: Oh, you mean the holes.
Posted on 10/1/09 at 10:27 pm to DBG
quote:
frank costanza has some hilarious shite
"You think you can keep us out of Del Boca Vista...we're moving in lock stock and barrel. We're gonna be in the pool, we're gonna be in the clubhouse, we're gonna be all over that shuffleboard court...AND I DARE YOU TO KEEP ME OUT!!!"
This post was edited on 10/1/09 at 10:27 pm
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