re: Post your favorite NON Michael Scott line from The Office

Dwight Schrute: Moving is one the most stressful things you can do in your life. You'll probably take it out on your kid. Jim will turn to the drink. The family will fall apart. And twenty years from now, Cece will be famous. For stripping.

Pam Beesly: That's a sad story. I have another one. We move, the other tenants follow. The bank takes the building, takes your farm, takes your car, and beats the crap out of you. Penniless, you die, and my daughter dances on your grave. Fully clothed.

One of my favorite line by Stanley.

Stanley: [believing that Ryan is after his 8th grade daughter] That little girl is a child! I don't want to see you sniffing around her anymore this afternoon. Do you understand?
Ryan Howard: Yes, sir.
Stanley: Boy, have you lost your mind? 'Cause I'll help you find it. What you looking for? Ain't nobody gonna help you out there. Jesus could come through that door and he's not gonna help you if you don't stop sniffing after my child.

And a MGS and Stanley back and forth. Diversity day.

Michael: That would have really really showed him up, wouldn’t it, if I brought in some burritos, or, colored greens, or some, pad thai, love pad thai …
Stanley: It’s collard greens.
Michael: What?
Stanley: It’s collard greens.
Michael: Uh, doesn’t really make sense. Cuz you don’t call them collard people. That’s offensive.

EVeryone is playing the silent game. Dwight hangs up a phone, andy gets excited about a raccon eating a hamburger, than Kevin opens a candy bar takes a bight and says.

"oh yeah"

Deposition Reporter: [reading off paper] "Mr. Scott, do you realize you just contradicted yourself?" "I did?" "Yes you did." "Can I go to the bathroom?" "No." "I really have to, I've been drinking lots of water." "You went five minutes ago." "That wasn't to go to the bathroom, that was to get out of a question." "You still have to answer it." "First can I go to the bathroom?" "No."

I love the healthcare plan episode. So many awesome quotes from that episode:

(Dwight talkin to Jim)
-Dwight - "Countchokulitis, why did you put that Jim? Is it because you know I love Count Chokula?"

(Dwight reading off diseases to everyone)
-Dwight - "Inverted penis?"
-Meredith - "Um could you mean vagina? Cause if so I want that covered."
-Dwight - "I thought your vagina was removed in your hysterectomy?"
-Meredith - "The vagina is different than the uterus, I still have a vagina"
-Dwight - "Ok, well who wrote this hilarious one, anal fissures?"
-Kevin - "That's a real thing"
-Dwight - "Yea but no one here has it"
-Kevin - (looking awkwardly around the room) "Someone has it..."

And when Michael calls Pam to ask how the plan is coming and she starts telling him everyone is upset he's like "up gotta go Pam, gotta take this" and she's like "no one's calling you", then he talks for a little longer and she says something and he's like "o there it is, super important call" and she responds "still no one calling".

His exchange with the coal mining guy about taking his employees for a trip on "his big ride" is gold also. "Well once you get down there you got like laser tag or anything"?

Hahahahahahah