What ESPN Won’t Let Player X Say: Prenups and Watching Your Wife get pounded

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ESPN The Magazine runs a regular feature called Player X, in which a current athlete writes anonymously on a pressing issue affecting his sport. A couple of issues ago, the mystery NBA player tackled the topic of infidelity among pro athletes. What ran in the magazine was polished, snappy...and unenlightening. But we have the original draft Player X composed, before the editing process sanitized it completely. The draft sheds a lot of light on what athletes are really going through, and how unpublishable the experience is.

The final, published version is available on ESPN.com here. (If you don't have Insider, it's been reproduced here, and further below.) These two pages represent the unedited, uncensored version that Player X submitted to ESPN. Because what was taken out is far more interesting then what was added (mostly turns of phrase), we've indicated those ideas and words that ESPN deemed unsuitable by striking them through.

It's not hard to see why most of the excised material never saw the light of day. Implications of Eva Longoria's infidelity, or exhortations to watch your wife get it on with another man to save your own marriage are not the type of things that generally get printed. But in airbrushing out the down-and-dirty details, the Player X column loses a lot of what it sets out to be in the first place: a raw look inside the mind of a pro athlete. It still is, just a lot less real.

Original Player X Column

Tiger's Fifteen? No big deal.

I know NBA players who are, right at this moment, working more than 15 girls-married guys and ones with girlfriends. Guys at the highest levels.

I'm telling you, the temptations we players face are crazy. You're seeing things you never seen before. Experiencing things you've never dreamed of. And the caliber of these women? They're goddam gorgeous. Not all of them. But the ones who put some work in, put on those dresses, let their asses pop, do up their hair and get their makeup going, they look fine as hell. Our natural instinct isn't to grab lunch with her. We wanna know how she smells, how she feels, how she tastes.

Tiger, we feel you.

Our marriages are a lot harder to maintain than yours. We're on the road and in-demand. And when we do come home, we've been apart so long, one or both partners' have changed. After a while, you don't even know each other anymore. And when you're on the road as much as we are, our ladies are prone to wander, too. Please note: Tiger's story isn't finished. Like George Foreman-whose book was still being written when, at the age of 200, he made that damn grill-Tiger's book could take a few turns. Why was he cheating on Elin? Maybe she wasn't making him happy at home, or maybe she was cheating, too. We don't know that she wasn't. Just sayin.

In my mind, Woods f- up in only one way: he didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement.

I tell every young player who will listen: sign that motherf- pre-nup. If the girl won't sign, don't get married, and find a girl who will sign. Elin took Tiger for half his money. I'm sorry, but no girl on this planet is worth $300 million. Sign that pre-nup! You'd be crazy not to. Do everything in your power to protect what you've worked so hard for. You may think you're relationship will last, but it won't. You may think you're not going to cheat, but you will.

And look at the leverage a pre-nup gives you. Lets say you cheat. Let's say you get caught. Well, if she leaves you, she's not going to get that money. She can't live the way she wants to or expects to live. In other words, she'll never leave you.

If I had to guess, 85% of sports marriages fall apart. Some of the biggest names in the league are going through this right now.

Let's start with Tony and Eva. We all liked that couple. Seemed like they had a good thing. But towards the end there were rumors around the league that some crazy swinging stuff was going on-like the rumor that Tony was messing with Brent Barry's girl. My goodness. That's so against the code. Guys are not allowed to mess with a teammates' partner. Period. Totally against the rules, and Tony isn't the only one who allegedly broke it. I know a couple of guys who are messing with players' girls. Now, the ladies have some blame in these situations. To the wife or girlfriend, there is no code. They don't know what goes on in a locker room, how important trust is among teammates. I've seen a couple of wives get out of control, throwing themselves at other players. That's why a lot of guys keep their ladies far away from the team, which spares everyone from potential headaches.

But, remember, Tony and Eva's book hasn't been written, either. We've all heard stories about celebs who fake-cheated-planted a story about cheating-just to get more buzz. Well, I'll tell you what I heard: Tony wasn't the only one messing around. Eva was getting hers, too, with a couple of entertainers, who I won't name.

Not a big surprise to us. Dating a celebrity lady isn't easy. Their jobs are similar to ours: lots of travel, no shortage of partners to choose from. But athlete-civilian marriages aren't easy to maintain, either. Take Steve Nash and his wife. She's no celebrity, and Steve's probably the most down-to-earth star we have, but they've just filed for divorce-a big surprise to guys around the league. Dwayne Wade and his wife are finished, too, and I was really saddened by that. We all feel that those young couples, the ones who pre-date a player's pro career, have the best shot. She was with him before Dwayne was D-Wade. Didn't matter. They're done.

(By the way, we're all watching with keen interest Dwyane's custody battle for his kids. It's a bold move, to fight to be your kids' caretaker despite the demands of the NBA. But if you feel you're in a better position than their mom to take care of them, fight for them. Nice work, Dwyane.)

Now, I'm happily married. Wasn't always this way. We've overcome a lot of problems, especially early. And I think we could've avoided a lot of our problems had I known what I know now.

Here's a little secret: There are a couple of NBA families where a different type of marriage is practiced. Like Tiger, the guys are exploring other girls. Unlike Tiger, the guys are respectful of their wives.

Yeah, I'm talking about an open-door policy.

We're going to cheat anyway. We're going to experiment. Well, some guys are experimenting out in open, with their spouses knowing. Let me tell how it's done: I know a player who said to his wife, "Baby, I want to experiment. What do you think about that?" She asked why. "Well, this girl, she's fine as hell. I just want to see how she tastes." So, she said, "What don't you see in me that you see in her?" He explained it, they talked about it, and he got to mess around. The end, on that one, is To Be Determined. But here's what I'm sayin, ladies: Do you want a husband who cheats and then you get divorced anyway? I say, get it out in the open. Acknowledge it. Let your man experience someone else. See if he likes her more. If he does, well, now you know that you two weren't meant to be. Free the bird, see if he don't come back.

And just so you don't think I'm a chauvinist: Guys, let your wives play, too. Watch her get pounded. See how that makes you feel about her. Maybe you'll learn some lessons, make some changes. Maybe your relationship will be stronger for it.

I know this sounds crazy. But the world is going crazy. Something has to be done because this stuff-the Tiger thing, the Brett Favre thing-is happening too much. And it's not just us athletes. You're all cheating. You're all getting divorced. And it's hurting our country. It's affecting our youth. Think about it. It might just work.

But whatever you decide to do, young fellas, please, for the love of God….

Sign. That. Pre. Nup.

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