re: Inheritance

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My grandfather died then my grandmother gets dementia and my nannie had her change will where she gets everything.

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This “nannie” person is your aunt? The daughter of the deceased Grandmother? If the daughter took care of her mom with dementia for a couple of years, then she probably deserves the money. The legality of the will change probably depends on the level of dementia.

If this “nannie” is just some random caretaker, then I agree that it’s super shady.

The nannie is my aunt. She quit her job to take care of my grandmother but needed sitters to stay with her to take care of both of them. My nannie or aunt couldn’t even feed her. The sitters told me personally that she was abusive to her on multiple occasions yelling at her. When she would stay on weekends she would make my grandmother use bathroom in her diaper because she didn’t feel like getting up until sitter would arrive. She also gave my grandmother her medicines that contained controlled substances. My wife stopped her from doing it the second time. We got hospice involved and they commented that my aunt should not have been caring for my grandmother but she was given power of attorney when my grandmother changed the will where my grandfather gave 1/2 to my nannie and 1/4 to my father and my siblings. I’ve resigned to not fighting it in respect to my grandfather because he was my best friend when my dad was messing up. We were very close. My grandmother was always my favorite cook and someone I would constantly visit to see if I could do anything to help her. My aunt is on the slow side and may have ruined our relationship simply because she knows what I’m saying is right but is greedy and spoiled. I have memories that are all I need. My nannie retired from wal mart simply because she saw her being lazy and mooching like she always has. I don’t expect anyone to understand the hurt I have because my childhood was one of hurt from my father but was better because of my mother. My family was into farming and my grandfather started the business himself. My father ran it into the ground so I took it over in an affront to honor my grandfather while he was still alive. Those rides in the field reminiscing about the old days and him seeing that we were being successful put a smile on his face that I treasure. I almost lost everything to honor that man. Cried many days to my grandmother because I hurt so much because I couldn’t do enough because he meant so much. The money was an afterthought because I knew it would always be there. Knowing that my aunt had her friends go with my grandmother who was demented to witness the changing of will hurt. It’s why I hurt. She used her mothers illness to benefit her.

My wife’s dad died when she was 18 and he was 45. Cancer is a bitch. 25 years later Grandpa dies. Find out not long before he died my wife’s aunts and uncles had him rewrite the will to only include his children that were living to leave my wife out. I’m convinced that they did this because they knew their spoiled kids would come with their hand out. We don’t need any money from anyone but I get so pissed just thinking about it.

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Lawyer said last year to just do both successions after mother dies.

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What does her will say?

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Or just the surviving 4 children split inheritance?

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Here is a helpful link, complete with links to all the state intestate succession laws.

As long as the grandchildren were the natural or adopted children of your mother's deceased child, I don't know of any state that would not award them a 5th split, subdivided equally amongst them.

It sounds like you're saying your mother doesn't have a will though. If that's the case, aside from firing your lawyer, she should draw up a will. Setting it up may not be fun, but infighting during intestate survivorship sucks to high heaven.