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TulaneLSU's Perfect 10 Ezekiel 24 quarantine chicken rice soup

Posted on 3/28/20 at 3:54 pm
Posted by TulaneLSU
Member since Aug 2003
Member since Dec 2007
13298 posts
Posted on 3/28/20 at 3:54 pm
Dear Friends,

I am alone in the house in New Orleans now. It is a strange time to be here. As others have remarked, for those of us who are not sick, it is as though we have been transported in a time machine. Families with their children recreate outdoors in numbers unseen in 30 years. Children have borrowed their fathers’ Rawlings gloves and are throwing baseballs. Half of the ones I have seen use their index fingers through the opening of the glove’s back to catch. New Orleans’ probably has the highest per capita bike riders of any Southern city, and that number has likely doubled in the last two weeks.

The rest of my family has ensconced in our Mississippi purlieu. Uncle came back last weekend to get Impastato’s, but I believe that will be the last time he returns in the near future. We are all concerned about states closing their borders to Louisiana residents, as the Florida governor did yesterday. The boomerang will return and I assume Louisiana will return the disfavor to other states if and when they become epicenters.

Apparently, this is not the first time states have closed their borders to Louisiana residents during an epidemic. 1905 was New Orleans’ last yellow fever outbreak, but it was the first time Mississippi invaded Louisiana. Coastal Mississippians were accustomed to New Orleanians spending the summer months on their coast. When they heard of the Crescent City’s outbreak, they panicked. The only two ways to traverse the Rigolets then was by train and by boat. The coastal cities shut down their railroad stations, so passengers from New Orleans could not disembark.

New Orleanians turned to ferries to transport them to the somewhat sterile salty breezes of the Mississippi beaches. When concerned Mississippi citizens and local politicians realized contagion was potentially entering, a Mississippi flotilla entered Louisiana waters and detained many residents. The Mississippi net also ensnared Louisiana fishermen, shrimpers, and oystermen.

Grandfather told me of his grandfather getting wrangled in this interstate mess. While on a weekend fishing trip at the Tally Ho Club on Chef Pass, Mississippi pirates commandeered his guide’s boat. The bandits brought my great, great grandfather to Ship Island, where they fumigated him and sent him back to the Club on a large government ship. They stole his hundreds of speckled trout, likely ruining the delicate fish, thick coating the fillets in heavy corn flour as they do with their catfish. Had they not been so rude and illegal, I have no doubt that great, great grandfather would have shared his fish. More importantly, he would have taught them how properly to cook the fish.

I have not visited our Mississippi estate in the last five years, but I could walk you through it. My great, great, great grandfather purchased it in the 1880s as a safe haven during yellow fever outbreaks in the city. Its setting is quite bucolic, bordering a large freshwater lake, surrounded by tall pines. I used to play in the straw and catch feisty bluegill from the banks during the Autumns of my youth while my cousins played football. Uncle was always all-time quarterback while my father spent most of his time indoors doing paperwork for work.

The compound was expanded to approximately 5,000 square feet in the 1980s because Uncle and father wanted for both families to be able to stay at the same time. Its underground bunker was built during the 1960s when there existed the threat of nuclear missiles launched by Cuba. It is entirely suitable for hurricanes, if the need arise. It has several industrial pumps for both drainage and waste water. The elevation of the acreage is well above storm surge heights and is located well above the nearby stream. It has never flooded, not for Camille nor for Katrina. I have only been in the bunker a few times because ghosts live in it.



The lifeblood of our city -- our churches, restaurants, and street performers -- has been strangled. Last month I began stocking the pantry with food. These preparations were invaluable, as I have had plenty to eat thus far. The 25 pounds of rice I purchased at Sam’s is the source of most of my food now. Although I would happily trade some rice for Ben’s Burgers cheese fries, Kenner Seafood fried artichoke hearts, or a soft shell crab from Impastato’s, I am taking advantage of this situation to use the kitchen.

Unfortunately, I ran out of meat yesterday. I informed Mother and she called our old neighbor, Ms. Patty, to ask if she could get some meat at Sam’s for me. Ms. Patty is an old family friend, but when she tried to steal Ms. Mae from us, things went south. The story goes that Ms. Patty was so impressed by Ms. Mae’s lemon chicken rice soup, she tried to hire Ms. Mae. The always loyal Ms. Mae refused the offer, but word got back to Mother. Mother was livid and the two matriarchs refused to speak to each other for several months. Glory be to God, they made amends at Christmas 2003 when I forced them to decorate a tree together. We all laughed, sang carols, and drank hot chocolate. It is a beautiful story of reconciliation I will share one day.

Anyway, Ms. Patty dropped off two Sam’s rotisserie chickens this morning with a note asking me to make Ms. Mae’s soup, which she called “Perfect 10 Soup.” How could I say no? I also thought I should share the recipe with you. If times were different, I would invite all of you to share a bowl. One of our best friends here, OTIS2, can vouch for me when I tell you it’s some of the best soup you will ever taste. And it’s cheap. The below recipe will feed six people. The total cost is under $10. At $1.50 per meal, it’s the perfect meal for now, when we are uncertain what is to come with the economy, and each of us should be saving for the unknown. With that savings, we may be able to help others.



One thing I hate about recipe websites is they bore you with stupid personal stories. They refuse to get to the reason I am on the site: to get a recipe, its ingredients and directions. You usually have to scroll through a series of advertisements that bog down your computer. I refuse to do any of that. So, let’s start with our ingredients. I like simple recipes that use minimal ingredients, kitchen devices and things I will have to wash. Although I am currently making enough for 12 servings, using double these ingredients, I will give you the recipe for just one chicken (six servings).
This post was edited on 3/28/20 at 6:51 pm
Posted by TulaneLSU
Member since Aug 2003
Member since Dec 2007
13298 posts
Posted on 3/28/20 at 3:54 pm to
Ingredients:
1. One rotisserie chicken
2. Three leeks
3. Eight cups of NOLA S&WB tap water
4. One cup of rice
5. Two tablespoons of butter

Kitchen Utensils:
1. Knife
2. Cutting board
3. Strainer or colander
4. Large glass bowl
5. Dutch oven (I prefer to use a 6 quart)

Stock Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 350 as you remove as much skin and fat from chicken. Set meat aside.
2. Roast chicken bones in Dutch oven at 350 for 40-60 minutes
3. Add eight cups of S&WB tap water and the leek greens/leaves
4. Cook covered in oven at 350 degrees for 2-3 hours
5. Drain the stock into non-plastic bowl. Set aside. Discard leaves and bones.

Soup Directions (after stock finished):
1. On medium heat stove, melt 2 tablespoons of butter in Dutch oven in which you made the stock
2. Add finely chopped leeks and cook three minutes until translucent
3. Add your reserved chicken stock, rice, and chopped chicken.
4. Bring to boil. Once boiling, immediately reduce to low heat. Keep covered for 30 minutes, stirring halfway.
5. When rice is tender, you are ready to serve. Season to taste with the lemon pepper.

That’s it. Five ingredients. Five cooking tools. Ten steps in total. A perfect 10!

One of the great things about this recipe is that almost nothing goes to waste. To highlight this, I will show you how to make a non-FDA approved face mask with the plastic cover from the chicken. I do not guarantee or even suggest that this will prevent you from getting the new coronavirus. However, if you have nothing else, I believe it would be better than nothing. If the CDC does start requiring that we wear face covers when in public, as is being rumored now, perhaps this could be used. We await their guidance.

To start, use your knife to puncture two holes on the edges of the flat, not curved, plastic border. Retrieve two Fuzzy Sticks (some call pipecleaners) you have left over from TulaneLSU's 2019 Christmas Pilgrimage III: Bead Crafting. Insert one end of the fuzzy stick in the opening and twist it on itself to secure it. Do the same with the other fuzzy stick through the other hole. You should have two stick pointing up, almost like the temples of bifocals. This is where you bring those two long sticks together, around your scalp and twist them together. This mask is easily adjustable to fit almost any sized head. Do not sleep with this mask on, because it could suffocate you. If you start feeling dizzy or like you might pass out, take off the plastic mask. It is not intended for use in children. Its most useful function may simply be preventing you from touching your face.



I include a picture of the adorned mask on my instructional Raggedy Ann. Mother gifted her to me. She has been a great friend through many rough times, and I am happy she would help me teach you today.



Back to cooking. We live in interesting times and waste should not be in our vocabulary right now. Perhaps our society’s culture of wastefulness is partly to blame for this outbreak. In any event, Americans would do well to learn to become more frugal, less wasteful, and more self reliant. One way we can accomplish this triune task, besides making our own masks from Sam’s rotisserie chicken plastic covers, is by making our own chicken stock. The bonus here is that homemade chicken stock is vastly superior to any brand of premade stock.

Deconstructing the chicken is the first, most labor intensive, and messiest part of making this dish. I like my chicken stock clean and with as little fat as possible. To accomplish this goal, I begin by denuding all skin from the chicken. This is always easiest when the chicken is still warm. If you refrigerate the chicken, getting all the skin off is like trying to peel a shrimp that has been boiled too long. Yes, you are losing seasoning and spices when you remove the skin, but the stock does not need that seasoning.



Once all the skin is off, I begin tearing apart the carcass, removing leftover organs and meat. I like to pretend I am in animal sciences anatomy class, so will try to recall every anatomic landmark, muscle, and organ possible. Sometimes more organs are in the chicken’s thoracic and abdominal cavities than you would expect. Today, I was able to identify the chicken’s pancreas, which is usually removed or obliterated. The above picture shows our chicken likely had pancreatitis. I conject it was the chicken’s visceral fat, which released UFAs, thus blocking complexes I and V, which caused this state of the pancreas. Poor thing.

Get your hands in there. This is a dirty job, which is why I usually do two birds at the same time. I eat the wings at this time, the only time I ever eat chicken wings, the worst part of the bird. It usually takes me eight minutes to deconstruct each bird, depending on how intent I am on identifying anatomic features. The more you do this, the quicker you will get. The end result per bird is about half a pound of marrow-laden bones and two and a quarter pounds of pure meat, as pictured below.



The chicken meat you will reserve to the side as we prepare the stock. For this, I add either a little butter or olive oil to a Dutch oven and then add all those bones. I cover and put in the oven at 350. I let roast for 40-60 minutes.



While the bones are roasting, you have plenty of time to chop the chicken, finely chop the leeks, or even write a Top 10 list for Tigerdroppings.

Some of you have asked why I don’t often use onions or garlic. This is a fair question. The answer is that leeks are better than both combined. In fact, I substitute leeks for any recipe that calls for onions, garlic and celery. Why use two or three ingredients when one is better? I cut the leaves or stems off the leek roots. I also trim the root. These stems, most would discard, are perfect for the simple stock. I then finely chop the leeks.



You will also have ample opportunity during the roasting of the bones to chop the chicken meat into small cubes. Sometimes, I use a knife. Other times, I use the Korean method of cutting with kitchen scissors. The Korean method takes a little longer, but is more satisfying.

Once your bones are adequately roasted, your home will smell like a country French restaurant. It is now time to add the leek leftover leaves (not the finely chopped leeks) and eight cups of New Orleans Sewerage & Water Board tap water. This is the finest water on the planet. If you do not have access to this water, please do everything you can to obtain it. I know Mayor Ray Nagin is still hopeful the city can bottle it and export it, to great profit for our city. Without this water, I can make no promises how your end product will result. I sometimes add a little salt, but that is not necessary.




This post was edited on 3/28/20 at 4:49 pm
Posted by TulaneLSU
Member since Aug 2003
Member since Dec 2007
13298 posts
Posted on 3/28/20 at 3:55 pm to
Put the Dutch oven back in the oven at 350. You will let this cook for 2-3 hours. I once accidentally forgot it, only returning at 5 hours. It was delicious, but most of the liquid evaporated. The longer, the better the flavor, but you may need to add water. This time gives you adequate opportunity to read several chapters of Thomas Aquinas’s Summa Theologica or John Calvin’s Institutes of the Christian Religion. Do not waste this time in idleness or idolatry. Use it for edifying reading, service, or prayer.

One benefit we are seeing to this current shutdown is the closure of casinos, bars, and professional sports. These three things are detrimental to society. Casinos, obviously, prey on the stupid and weak of society. Sure, some are able to gamble without falling into ruin. Gambling, though, is driven from profits of those who put significant portions of their income into those dirty hands of chance.

Bars and alcohol, likewise, destroy the least as well as the highest. Big Alcohol is Fake News, though, Big Alcohol has cozied up to Big Media and infiltrated all of American life. One of the things I do appreciate about President Trump is his teetotaling stance. I suspect he would be a homeless beggar if he drank alcohol. Without the Devil’s drink, he became a billionaire and the President. Think of what you could accomplish if you were not stunted by this evil liquid.

And finally, professional sports. To a point, professional sports can be good for a society, if they are used for modest diversion. But as they are in our society, they injure families and communities. Fanatics bow to the altar of these silly games, forsaking their children, spouses, churches, and yards. Perhaps the uptick in waving, happy communities we are seeing now is partially a product of the professional sports shutdown. No one’s reason for being and reason for excitement should be watching anonymous adults playing sports. We were designed and created for far more than what sports can give.

Our current quarantine is turning back the clock, and making us pure again. Is it so bad to yearn for a time when we were young? To yearn for the simplicity of third grade? Alcohol, gambling, and professional sports meant nothing to us then. Throwing a ball, singing wholesome, encouraging songs together, riding a bike, looking for buried treasure, these were the diversions that made childhood special. Some of us threw away that purity for easy pleasures, pleasures which have since devolved into addictions and chains. It is our time, our time now to break free from those chains and reclaim the fun and simplicity of our childhood.

The stock is now ready. It’s time to get a very large glass or ceramic bowl and the colander. Be very careful because to burn yourself at this juncture is probable if care is not given to the task. Put the bowl in your sink and colander over the bowl. Using heat mittens, take out the stock and drain it into the colander and bowl. Be careful of the rising steam. It too can cause a bad burn. You will be left with some delicious stock, as pictured.



My stock has never been beautiful in appearance. Some people are, by technique, food coloring, or lighting, able to make that golden stock. But I cannot. My stock usually looks like swamp water. My goal, however, is not beauty in appearance but beauty of taste. And my stock reaches that goal.



Quickly clean out the Dutch oven. Cook the leeks of medium high heat on the stovetop in the Dutch oven with a little butter to prevent sticking. This will take about three or four minutes. When translucent, add the drained stock, which is about 8 cups, one cup of rice, and the chopped chicken. Bring this combination to a boil. When boiling, reduce heat to low, stir and cover. In 15 minutes, stir the soup. The rice should be plumping. After 30 minutes simmering covered, remove from heat. You now will add the lemon pepper, which is plenty of savory seasoning for this dish. Let cool and enjoy with your closest friends and family at a distance of at least six feet. If you are wearing your plastic face guard, you will have to remove it to eat.



The famed fork view of Meridian Dog:



Friends, find the good in this troubled time. Be kind and generous.

Faith, Hope, and Love,
TulaneLSU
This post was edited on 3/28/20 at 3:56 pm
Posted by SEClint
New Orleans, LA/Portland, OR
Member since Nov 2006
48769 posts
Posted on 3/28/20 at 3:55 pm to
Combo breaker
Posted by beerJeep
Louisiana
Member since Nov 2016
35047 posts
Posted on 3/28/20 at 3:56 pm to
quote:

A

quote:

A

Ron
This post was edited on 3/28/20 at 3:57 pm
Posted by OTIS2
NoLA
Member since Jul 2008
50134 posts
Posted on 3/28/20 at 3:57 pm to
Just dropped into unload a few DV’s.
Posted by biglego
Ask your mom where I been
Member since Nov 2007
76354 posts
Posted on 3/28/20 at 3:57 pm to
quote:

One thing I hate about recipe websites is they bore you with stupid personal stories.


Posted by t00f
Not where you think I am
Member since Jul 2016
90033 posts
Posted on 3/28/20 at 3:58 pm to
QMy ADHD does not allow me to read any of that.

I scrolled through the whole thing

Can I have a 1 sentence cliff note plz

Thkz
Posted by WestCoastAg
Member since Oct 2012
145178 posts
Posted on 3/28/20 at 3:58 pm to
Friend,

It brings me joy to hear that you got to see Uncle. I hope all is well you with and Mother during these stressful times

You friend as always,
WCA
Posted by Rouge
Floston Paradise
Member since Oct 2004
136813 posts
Posted on 3/28/20 at 4:00 pm to
quote:

TulaneLSU


If H.P. Lovecraft had an autistic brother
Posted by LSUJML
BR
Member since May 2008
45652 posts
Posted on 3/28/20 at 4:01 pm to
quote:

If you are wearing your plastic face guard, you will have to remove it to eat.

Posted by dkreller
Laffy
Member since Jan 2009
30328 posts
Posted on 3/28/20 at 4:03 pm to
quote:

Eight cups of NOLA S&WB tap water

Do you strain the water first or not?

This process could have serious impact on flavor.
Posted by Hogwarts
Arkansas, USA
Member since Sep 2015
18055 posts
Posted on 3/28/20 at 4:04 pm to
Nice Tulane!
Posted by OweO
Plaquemine, La
Member since Sep 2009
113970 posts
Posted on 3/28/20 at 4:06 pm to
Posted by TulaneLSU
Member since Aug 2003
Member since Dec 2007
13298 posts
Posted on 3/28/20 at 4:20 pm to
The recipe gets its inspiration from the book of Ezekiel, chapter 24
Posted by Samson
Wildcat Spur, TN
Member since Feb 2020
348 posts
Posted on 3/28/20 at 4:43 pm to
I admire your dedication, but damn dude, how long does it take you to type all this stuff up?
Posted by HoustonGumbeauxGuy
Member since Jul 2011
29557 posts
Posted on 3/28/20 at 4:50 pm to
I’ve finally figured out who you are....




Posted by BigPerm30
Member since Aug 2011
25948 posts
Posted on 3/28/20 at 5:02 pm to
You need to work on that money shot. It looks very blah. You eat with your eyes first and that looks like some shite they serve in jail.

Kind Regards,

BigPerm
Posted by TulaneLSU
Member since Aug 2003
Member since Dec 2007
13298 posts
Posted on 3/28/20 at 7:39 pm to
Friend,

These are the Cliff's notes.

Yours,
TulaneLSU
Posted by t00f
Not where you think I am
Member since Jul 2016
90033 posts
Posted on 3/28/20 at 7:55 pm to
I feel like my salutations have been downgraded.
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