Hot Tails in New Roads

Having some time to kill I left the Toyota dealership to have my ECM updated and headed over to Hot Tails in New Roads. I don't find myself in that neck of the woods very often, so I'm never in the area to stop and give it a try.

Crossed the New bridge, took 415 to 190, then turned right on 1. There's a lot of nothing until you get to False River. Hot Tails is on Hospital Rd and easy to find.

The parking lot is large and constructed of well worn limestone and was more than half full at 1pm.

When I walked in and took a look around to get my bearings, a waitress came to my rescue and asked if it was my first time there. I was then told to go to the counter and order, take my number, and sit at a table of my choice. She said everything on the menu (chalkboard above counter) was amazing.

I thanked her and went to the bathroom first. The bathroom is just to the left when you walk in. A small, very dark (no overhead light) hall led to two doors. Hot Tails must be striving to be gender neutral, because I couldn't quickly determine which bathroom was which. After my eyes finally adjusted, I saw 'Pierre' and 'Marie' on the two doors. I quickly chose Pierre, felling strange for standing in the bathroom hall for so long. The bathroom was unoccupied and had a lock on the door. Hot Tails is gender neutral ready.

Afterward, I headed up to the short line and made my order. I often thought I'd go for the fried rabbit and redbeans if I ever made my way there. Instead, I went for the hamburger with grilled onions, mushrooms, pepperjack cheese, and sauteed crawfish (based upon a picture and review by Jay Ducote).

She hands me the bill and I see a place for a tip. Dilemma, I don't like to tip at the counter, I like to tip the waitstaff personally. I'm sure I looked like an a-hole when I scratched in the tip area on the ticket and paid.

I sat near the door and took this picture.


That's about half the seating area. I didn't take a picture of the other half.

There was no one at the bar. Must be a bunch of light-weights who live by the lake.

I counted around 25 tables and less than half were full. It's a nice enough place. I enjoyed my diet coke until my burger soon arrived.



Yep, its served on a 2X8. I'm sure the piece of wood goes through an 11 step sanitary process before finding its way to a new table. Surely more than just a quick wipe with a well-used rag used on countless other pieces of wood and tabletops. To ensure ultimate sanitation, a folded sheet of wax paper keeps the bun splinter free.

Time to eat. The meat is of good quality and cooked medium just like I ordered. A fine burger. However, the toppings underwhelmed me, much to my surprise. The crawfish were so salty all I could taste was the salt. Didn't taste the peperjack cheese at all it was so overpowering. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't so salty that I couldn't eat it. The overall flavor of the burger was diminished.

The fries were thick cut and good.

Before I got halfway through, the bun was so soggy that it started falling apart and some landed in my lap. Fortunately my wife had taught me to put a napkin in my lap, and I saved it from staining my crotch. No worries, right? I had the juice soaked wax paper on the flat board with no outer rim for the burger to rest on. I knife and forked it down the hatch. 5 napkin burger, by the way.

Afterward, I waited for the server who brought me my food to pass by and handed her a cash tip before I returned to the cave and visited Pierre's sanctuary to wash my hands and leave.

I liked the place. I think I just ordered the wrong thing. A friend of mine keeps going back because the oysters are flash-fried and he says they're amazing. Next time I go, and I don't plan on making a special effort, I'm going to order the fried rabbit and redbeans. I just hope like hell they aren't served on a G--Damn 2X8.