Cam Newton stars in The Unstoppable

Don't know why this isn't on here, but I found this masterpiece by LSUfreek on the SEC Rant.



Almost forgot the accompanying text:

"We have an unmanned train rolling into a highly populated area with no brakes?"

"Yes. It's coming straight at us."

"How many people are in the path?"

"Eleven. Twelve if you count the coach. But there will be more. "

"It's just a train. Seriously, you could just wait until it ran out of fuel. This doesn't seem that hard or urgent."

"It's not just a train. We're talking about a missile the size of the Chrysler Building. We anticipate an event radius of one to two months in all directions. And it does gets worse: it's on a collision course with six other cars on the same track."

"The same track? Seriously, what drunk apes are running our rail system? How did this even happen?"

"A computer issue is one way to put it but THERE'S NO TIME MAN! Are you in or are you out?"

"Is that Patrick Peterson on its back like a toddler on daddy's shoulders?"

"Yes."

"Yeah, then I'm out. Where's it headed?"

"Atlanta, but it has to go through Tuscaloosa and Oxford first."

"That seems like a roundabout way to go about getting to Atlanta."

"No one said this wasn't full of glaring plot holes and bad dialogue, son. I just said it was happening whether you liked it or not."

"Touché."