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Things You Never Imagined You Would Say To Your Child?
Posted on 11/1/20 at 6:48 pm
Posted on 11/1/20 at 6:48 pm
Mine would have to be: “DO NOT blow on the dog’s butthole again!”
This post was edited on 11/1/20 at 6:57 pm
Posted on 11/1/20 at 6:55 pm to auwaterfowler
You're calling from jail why?
Posted on 11/1/20 at 6:55 pm to auwaterfowler
Son: my ear hurts.
Me: let me look. It looks like something is in there.
Son: wait....is it an eraser?
Me: well did you stick an eraser in there?
Son: yes
Me: well then yea I guess it’s a freaking eraser
Turns out it was several pieces of an eraser he had broken apart and stuck in there 3 days before. Nurse practitioner buddy lives a mile down the road and had some kinda water pic things for flushing out ears so went over there and he washed em out. And of course it was in both sides.
Me: let me look. It looks like something is in there.
Son: wait....is it an eraser?
Me: well did you stick an eraser in there?
Son: yes
Me: well then yea I guess it’s a freaking eraser
Turns out it was several pieces of an eraser he had broken apart and stuck in there 3 days before. Nurse practitioner buddy lives a mile down the road and had some kinda water pic things for flushing out ears so went over there and he washed em out. And of course it was in both sides.
This post was edited on 11/1/20 at 9:07 pm
Posted on 11/1/20 at 6:58 pm to auwaterfowler
Mine was probably "so what color and how many coins did you swallow?"
Most expensive 2 cents I've ever seen. Lodged in the throat and required surgery.
Posted on 11/1/20 at 6:58 pm to auwaterfowler
Your mom has bomb arse pussy
Posted on 11/1/20 at 7:04 pm to Sao
Same here. “Are you sure you swallowed a coin?” As I dug through my kid’s shite for three days. Found the coin.
Posted on 11/1/20 at 7:07 pm to auwaterfowler
“Mayonnaise is not the same thing as medicine”
Little dude was spreading blue plate all over his leg
Little dude was spreading blue plate all over his leg
Posted on 11/1/20 at 7:09 pm to auwaterfowler
I'm glad you are a Bama fan
Posted on 11/1/20 at 7:10 pm to auwaterfowler
When we get to the bank, I'm gonna whip your arse with this paddle. Shortly after he hooked me for the third time.
Posted on 11/1/20 at 7:16 pm to auwaterfowler
When my daughter was 4 she told us she put a Lego in her nose. Had to go to the ER to have it removed.
Posted on 11/1/20 at 7:26 pm to auwaterfowler
Your little brother is tied up where?
He ate what?
No, cats don't like baths.
The dog threw up again?
Actually, imagined all these and more.
He ate what?
No, cats don't like baths.
The dog threw up again?
Actually, imagined all these and more.
Posted on 11/1/20 at 7:33 pm to auwaterfowler
why is your buddy tied to a tree next to the bayou and you have his shoes and socks?
Posted on 11/1/20 at 7:34 pm to auwaterfowler
Was it really necessary to baptize the cat?
Posted on 11/1/20 at 7:36 pm to auwaterfowler
“You’re being a count.”
Posted on 11/1/20 at 7:37 pm to auwaterfowler
“What gender do you want to identity as today”?
Posted on 11/1/20 at 7:40 pm to momentoftruth87
quote:
When my daughter was 4 she told us she put a Lego in her nose. Had to go to the ER to have it removed.
We've had rocks removed from ears by the ENT. Twice.
Posted on 11/1/20 at 7:42 pm to MSTiger33
quote:
Same here. “Are you sure you swallowed a coin?” As I dug through my kid’s shite for three days. Found the coin.
you needed the coin back that bad?
Posted on 11/1/20 at 7:42 pm to auwaterfowler
You ain't Bruce Lee mother fricker
Posted on 11/1/20 at 7:49 pm to auwaterfowler
Keep it in your pants, son.
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