re: Lost my dad.

Sorry man, we all go through this at some point. Lost mine two years ago. For his eulogy, write something, anything, that is funny and humanizes your dad. If you can't tell the story yourself, have someone else do it for you. Someone close to you.

It will mean a lot to your family and everyone there. At my dad's funeral, my cousin read my story because it directly affected her. I told a tale of hunting with my dad at my uncle's ranch. I painted a picture in words about that morning, about the wakening of the day and the respect for my dad and our firearms. It was early and barely light as we walked across a cutover soybean field towards the treeline. As we neared the woods, a large pig came running out of the woods in the dusky darkness of the dawn. I was 20 yards away from my dad. The pig was running right at me and my dad yelled at me to stop. 3 shots broke the silence of the air and the crows started crying out and flying all over, angry at my dad for disturbing the quiet solitude. My dad walked over to the pig and told me to stay where I was. His gun was trained on the still pig. It had fallen dead about 10 yards in front of me. I was 11 years old, and when my dad leaned down to one knee next to the pig, for the first time in my life I heard him say the "f-word". I knew the word. I also knew if I said it that it would mean the belt for me. Ignoring my dad's instructions I walked over to him. When he felt my presence he looked up at me from his kneeled position and said, "I just killed your cousin's 4-H pet pig, damn it."

My cousin, it was her pig. She told the story. Everyone laughed because nobody except immediate family knew the story. My cousin, after the laughter died down a little, looked over at the coffin my dad was in and said, "That's okay, Uncle. I forgive you." then she paused and looked back to everyone and said, "that was MY pig." And everybody stated laughing again.

Laughter helps. It helped then. Not just for you but for everyone there who grieves. So if you can, try to find that special moment when your dad became really human and imperfect to you and not just a towering figure of authority. You might smile yourself. And if this message helps you to find some peace then God will bless you and your family.

All the best, brother.