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Started By
Message
Brother going through a divorce...
Posted on 7/13/19 at 4:06 am
Posted on 7/13/19 at 4:06 am
He wrote this to me earlier and it rings true, at least to me. I personally have not married and have zero desire to, for many different reasons that are sound. No reason to debate them here. I'm steadfast in that regard.
Now, for my brothers defense he worked two jobs to support his wife and two boys. He lives in Branson and did all he could to provide a good life. They lived in a good neighborhood and he was faithful from all accounts (she never said he cheated).
He claims that her reasoning for divorce is that he didn't provide the life she wanted: she had plans for school and art shite but they couldn't save and she raised the two kids alone. So she didn't have time for her desires. Some really pompous terms considering she didn't work. Yes, she did not work.
He is a broke man. I know he is in a dark place and his idea of marriage is shot to.
If he becomes a man whore from this losing his faith in women im sure the women's will say he is a POS and the reason why women don't trust men.
Chicken or the egg, Right? frick it. We know how it all started. Rebellion at home.
No fault divorce is the devil's brew. Any man who is at risk of losing his livelihood, his offspring, his assets, etc...is a fool to ever marry. Yes, there are some men who are better suited for marriage than others, but if you aren't one of those (and I sure as hell am not) you are putting your entire future in the bands of a woman you don't know as well as your parents or family and most friends, yet, and that may end horribly.
Enjoy breakfast.
quote:
I remember when I was young (pre-adolescence/adolescence) how all it took to catch a girls eyes were the little things like smile; flex a muscle; wink; open a door; stand up for someone less fortunate; all things that had zero to do with "stuff" materials and things that die and undergo entropy. Now as I am older it is all different. It is the stuff and job you have that catches their eye. Men stay the same (desire beauty) and women change completely.
Why is it that western women in western societies have become some hedonistic? When did you change from the girl you were and the young man, who he was, when you were both young, is what made you crush. Now women don't have "crushes", they mark a man for his assets and expect to be crowned with love. Then they wonder why their relationships die.
Marriages are dead (mine is) and it is all illusion.
Now, for my brothers defense he worked two jobs to support his wife and two boys. He lives in Branson and did all he could to provide a good life. They lived in a good neighborhood and he was faithful from all accounts (she never said he cheated).
He claims that her reasoning for divorce is that he didn't provide the life she wanted: she had plans for school and art shite but they couldn't save and she raised the two kids alone. So she didn't have time for her desires. Some really pompous terms considering she didn't work. Yes, she did not work.
He is a broke man. I know he is in a dark place and his idea of marriage is shot to.
If he becomes a man whore from this losing his faith in women im sure the women's will say he is a POS and the reason why women don't trust men.
Chicken or the egg, Right? frick it. We know how it all started. Rebellion at home.
No fault divorce is the devil's brew. Any man who is at risk of losing his livelihood, his offspring, his assets, etc...is a fool to ever marry. Yes, there are some men who are better suited for marriage than others, but if you aren't one of those (and I sure as hell am not) you are putting your entire future in the bands of a woman you don't know as well as your parents or family and most friends, yet, and that may end horribly.
Enjoy breakfast.
81
Posted on 7/13/19 at 4:09 am to 187undercover
Prenuptial agreements are the best
Posted on 7/13/19 at 4:10 am to 187undercover
quote:
she had plans for school and art shite but they couldn't save and she raised the two kids alone. So she didn't have time for her desires.
It's as if she's blaming him for having kids and having to raise them. If she wanted that stuff she should've gone after it, instead of having 2 kids. What did she think was gonna happen when she had them? That they would raise themselves?
Posted on 7/13/19 at 4:10 am to 187undercover
That’s quite a ramble and a little incoherent. But i get it man. My biggest fear for myself and my kid is divorce. Just gotta keep the spark alive (love and romance) and try to honor the woman (and vice versa) and live a life like Jesus would. That’s all you can do
Posted on 7/13/19 at 4:14 am to TulaneUVA
Sorry, I got i got it earlier.
Family is shook.
Real shook, but not too surprised.
Family is shook.
Real shook, but not too surprised.
Posted on 7/13/19 at 4:22 am to 187undercover
They want the greener pastures and all they need is someone to lure them once they get an eye for looking.
There’s another man. Book it
There’s another man. Book it
Posted on 7/13/19 at 4:26 am to 187undercover
quote:my first wife ( years ago) claimed the exact thing. I also was working two jobs at the time while she didn’t work. Turns out she was fricking a guy and I would bet the house that your sister in law is also
He claims that her reasoning for divorce is that he didn't provide the life she wanted: she had plans for school and art shite but they couldn't save and she raised the two kids alone. So she didn't have time for her desires. Some really pompous terms considering she didn't work. Yes, she did not work.
Posted on 7/13/19 at 4:27 am to TulaneUVA
quote:
and live a life like Jesus would
Jesus never got married. He knew bitches were trouble.
Posted on 7/13/19 at 4:30 am to dbeck
Attractive women have options.. hard truth is you have to bring in money to keep them happy
Posted on 7/13/19 at 4:32 am to 187undercover
Yeah, guarantee you there’s another dude. Women are shite man. Especially down in Louisiana. So sorry your brother is going through this. Very disheartening to hear.
This post was edited on 7/13/19 at 4:36 am
Posted on 7/13/19 at 4:43 am to 187undercover
Truth is women crave attention. The second they feel unwanted or unpretty they'll do whatever it takes to make them feel that way and that includes fricking some random dude that makes her feel wanted.
I think for most guys, the game ends when you put a ring on it. We're rational and putting a ring on it is such a big deal to us and decision to make, we feel the hard part is over and you'll love her for who she is and she'll do the same. You'd be dead wrong though. The game never ends for her as I truly believe for a lot of them, they still need the constant attention while you no longer needed the same after the ring. You still love them, ease up a little on the attention and get comfortable, and then she'll promptly be so self absorbed and self conscious that she'll find someone else and blame you because she'll say there's no sparks anymore. Sparks to her is simply a dude eying her up and making her feel sexy... she'll forget all the things you've sacrificed in your life to be her husband. If you're lucky, you'll be able to find your old self after she leaves you, but sadly, they have already robbed you of that. This is how women take the souls of men.
I think for most guys, the game ends when you put a ring on it. We're rational and putting a ring on it is such a big deal to us and decision to make, we feel the hard part is over and you'll love her for who she is and she'll do the same. You'd be dead wrong though. The game never ends for her as I truly believe for a lot of them, they still need the constant attention while you no longer needed the same after the ring. You still love them, ease up a little on the attention and get comfortable, and then she'll promptly be so self absorbed and self conscious that she'll find someone else and blame you because she'll say there's no sparks anymore. Sparks to her is simply a dude eying her up and making her feel sexy... she'll forget all the things you've sacrificed in your life to be her husband. If you're lucky, you'll be able to find your old self after she leaves you, but sadly, they have already robbed you of that. This is how women take the souls of men.
This post was edited on 7/13/19 at 5:25 am
Posted on 7/13/19 at 4:44 am to VolsOut4Harambe
He is from Louisiana but lives in Branson. She is from Missouri.
What the rambling was from him I believe is that when we are younger, and before "life" takes over as we become adults, young ladies when they crush for a guy usually has nothing to do with his material wealth. It is a lot like men are throughout their lifefimes--beauty, physique, and the little things that show you are a just guy becoming a good man.
Things change and he places blame on the western culture shift. I won't argue with him right now about it. I don't think it is just western culture. I think it is a universal paradox.
What the rambling was from him I believe is that when we are younger, and before "life" takes over as we become adults, young ladies when they crush for a guy usually has nothing to do with his material wealth. It is a lot like men are throughout their lifefimes--beauty, physique, and the little things that show you are a just guy becoming a good man.
Things change and he places blame on the western culture shift. I won't argue with him right now about it. I don't think it is just western culture. I think it is a universal paradox.
Posted on 7/13/19 at 5:14 am to 187undercover
Did they get married while pretty young?
Posted on 7/13/19 at 5:20 am to 187undercover
I always wonder how these women live with the guilt when the new relationship falls apart and their children are left with split homes because of their selfish choices.
They will never admit it, but when its just them and their thoughts they have to feel remorse for the stability they robbed from their own children.
I have watched the same thing play out on FB a least a couple times a year.
They will never admit it, but when its just them and their thoughts they have to feel remorse for the stability they robbed from their own children.
I have watched the same thing play out on FB a least a couple times a year.
Posted on 7/13/19 at 5:32 am to The People
Men do the same shite. Let's not throw this on just women.
However: sounds like he was spending all his time trying to provide for her and the kids, and she was spending all her time with the kids.
Did they ever find time for each other?
My mom made sure that her and my dad's relationship was not defined by their kids.
They took vacations without us. They shopped for groceries weekly without us. They had a life separate from us.
Your marriage is about the two of you, not your kids or other responsibilities.
Because eventually the kids leave. And you only have each other left. Of your marriage is based solely around your kids, you have nothing left in common once they leave.
And then divorce happens.
However: sounds like he was spending all his time trying to provide for her and the kids, and she was spending all her time with the kids.
Did they ever find time for each other?
My mom made sure that her and my dad's relationship was not defined by their kids.
They took vacations without us. They shopped for groceries weekly without us. They had a life separate from us.
Your marriage is about the two of you, not your kids or other responsibilities.
Because eventually the kids leave. And you only have each other left. Of your marriage is based solely around your kids, you have nothing left in common once they leave.
And then divorce happens.
Posted on 7/13/19 at 5:35 am to TulaneUVA
quote:
and live a life like Jesus would
Posted on 7/13/19 at 5:35 am to magildachunks
quote:
They took vacations without us. They shopped for groceries weekly without us. They had a life separate from us
Sounds like your parents hated you as a kid.
Posted on 7/13/19 at 5:36 am to CockyTime
quote:
Sounds like your parents hated you as a kid.
But they loved each other
Posted on 7/13/19 at 5:52 am to 187undercover
Blaming the women... Do you blame the dealership when you KNOWINGLY CHOOSE a 68733 month car note too?
Posted on 7/13/19 at 5:53 am to Slagathor
What are doing up at this hour?
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