what are your favorite old timey sayings

Ya mama

When he ate some really spicy food, my dad used to say, "Gonna have to shite in the creek to keep from setting the woods on fire."

Good lord willing and the creek don't rise.
Oral and Anal still means you're a virgin.
It's not a lie if you believe it.

Want in one hand and shite in the other and see which one fills up faster.

Sana sana colita de rana

My uncle was a navy veteran and when he'd visit Central Florida during the summer would say "It's hotter than two rats fricking a wool sock".

quote:

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Norm Macdonald's

"That's hotter than a two dollar pistol!"

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Don’t piss in the wind

You can't f**k a prick.

It's all in the wrist.

You've just gotta be smarter than the doorknob.