re: Who here has really fu**ed up, but straightened their life out?

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Sounds like: quote: pursued graduate school without planning for it.

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Perhaps. But to fix our mistake and stay in grad school, we would have taken on an estimated $25k in loans and my wife would have gotten a full time teaching job the 2nd year. Plus she would have gotten the one - granted foolish - year to focus more on our kid. We’d have been fine if she was working.

Instead, she got no extra time with the kid. I didn’t get the degree. I went back to a job I hated. And while we avoided $25k in student loans, I’m not sure spending two years without a reliable income was any better.

But it all started with the poor planning. Mos def.

I turned 30 in April, right after one of my dear friends died, and right before my gf of 4 years suddenly broke up with me. I've never really had anyone close to me die before, and losing my best friend in a breakup on top of that has been fricking with me. I have a degree from Alabama, an ok job in transportation logistics/supply chain management, but it has gotten so monotonous at this point, and I have started to dread going to work. I feel like I am capable of doing so much more, I just don't know which direction to take. All of this has given me a fair amount of anxiety and depression.

I love my friends, they'd do anything for me, but they drink a lot and do coke on the weekends, and I've been giving into those influences pretty much every weekend since April as a way to deal with my problems. Ive found myself in a cycle of working at a job I don't really like, getting fricked up on the weekends, and then being depressed and anxious for the first 2-3 days of the work week. Rinse and repeat.

I am very active, I exercise, I run almost every day, I eat healthy-ish, but I've just been struggling mentally with everything...self confidence, loneliness, thinking that I'm not good enough, worrying about things i can't control, not being able to just let go. These are problems I've had for a long time, but they've just been amplified in the past 4 months, and some of that is my fault.

I've been doing better the last couple of weeks, and I know that I can get back on the right track, I just have to push through. It's been kind of tough though, and I scheduled an appointment with a general practice doctor, and I might get her to refer me to a psychologist or something just to be safe.

Luckily I have amazing people in my life that I talk to about these things. I've always been the one my friends talk to about their problems, and I've mostly kept my bullshite bottled up inside of me my whole life, probably because that is how my dad is. But I've found that talking to people that care about me about my problems has been really great and therapeutic. Hell, just sharing it here really helps me.

Sorry for the novella, and I don't think I'm spiraling out of control, it just helps talking about things.

had a full ride to LSU. fricked off and lost it, dad started picking up the tab, fricked off and dropped out. had like a 1.5 gpa lol. started working nights as a valet and saved money to go to BRCC and bring my grades up enough to get back in to LSU. LSU let me in for a summer then denied my application for the fall semester (after getting a 3.66 gpa over 9 hours) and i couldn't get in to a 4 year university because to transfer you have to be eligible for admission in to your last university. Had a good pile of money saved so i went back to BRCC and took an internship. This was 4 years ago. I now have a very comfortable career that is going to be more comfortable when i graduate with my B.S. in december. Throw a bunch of drugs, booze, and apathy/depression in to the early mix and that's why i'm graduating at 30.

In my mid twenties I got into a lot of trouble with gambling. The gambling was triggered by relationship troubles. Anyways...fricked up my credit, lost a lot of money, got into a lot of debt, even seriously thought about suicide at times. But thankfully somehow managed to not let any of that impact my job(no one at work had any clue what was going on with me...they just assumed relationship troubles). Just a really dark time in my life. In fact, even when I think about those days I will still sometimes start feeling physically sick about it.

Thankfully in my late 20s I completely started over. Left everything behind and moved out of LA to start travel nursing. Took years to rebuild my credit but was slowly able to. Also shortly after I moved away I started going to church and found Christ and THAT is the reason why I didn't relapse whenever life stressors hit me. I honestly don't know where I would be without my faith. Granted...things certainly are not all rainbows and roses now in my life, and I'm not some perfect "goes to church every Sunday" Christian. But ...I don't gamble anymore and don't feel as low as I did during those really dark times. And for me personally...I know that wasn't MY doing...that was God's doing.


It sucks when I think of where I could be financially now had I not fricked up so royally in my twenties. I'm still paying off a small amount of student loans from my first round of college (now with the second round of college added on to it). Those should have been paid off long ago..but again...my frick up in my 20s messed that up.

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I asked this because at points in my addiction and early out of it, even with education under my belt, it seemed impossible to “make it” and be a normal businessman like I aspired.

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Totally understand that feeling. I felt I had forever fricked up my life at times back then and felt like things would never again be "normal" for me. The thing that took the longest amount of time was being able to truly forgive myself for all the damage I had done to my own life. Wasn't until a friend in my church pointed out to me "Well if God has forgiven you, what gives you the right to not be able to forgive yourself?" that I realized I needed to forgive myself before I could ever truly move on to the "normal" life I wanted so badly.

I will give you a preview of what your future will hold if you don't stop. Soon your weekends will becomes weekdays. Then you will need it to get through work. Then you will eventually run out of money or supply. You will either call in, or work poorly without your substance. Eventually one of those 2 things will lead you to losing your job. Then you lose everything.

Try just focusing on working out. Go out and try and find someone new. Stop getting high to cover up the pain.

I have been an addict for more years of my adult life than ive been a sober one.


At this point im a better human being than i ever have been, but i still have miles left to walk.

Please ask for help if you need it man.

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I'm glad people have overcome their problems, but acting like doing idiotic things like putting other peoples life in danger by driving drunk isn't some God send. Acknowledge that it's terrible behavior dont act like it's some sort of innocent mistake teaching moment. All that is is rationalization of bad behavior

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Aren't you like 20 something years old?

You'll figure things out.

Keep grinding away. Right now you have a job that allows you to keep your head above water while looking for ways to professionally advance yourself.

I, too, left a job to misguidedly pursue higher education. The timing couldn't have been more perfect: Right at the beginning of what turned out to be the Great Recession of 2008. Cost my family a lot financially.

I'm now 3x better off than before that time, so things definitely can look up for you. I wouldn't be where I'm at now if I hadn't made those choices and experienced those hardships.

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vancleave, ms

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what ya know about da HOG baw!!

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I am very active, I exercise, I run almost every day,

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This is your outlet. You say you love your friends, but ultimately they are bringing you down. It's not a first time for this to happen to someone.
I'm 20 years older than you and I can tell you that hanging out with worthless friends is a waste of time. There are so many more productive people in the world where you can make a difference.
You say you run everyday. Have you joined a track club in your area? It can be a great outlet. Sign up for a half marathon and that will give you a purpose, a goal, if you will.

As far as the job, is this your first real job after graduation? A lot of jobs can seem mundane, just try to make the most of it, but most of all, try to be happy in it. If you really just can't see any joy in it, start looking. Even if it to do the same job with another company, you may hook up with some funner and more easy going co workers.

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. Right now you have a job that allows you to keep your head above water while looking for ways to professionally advance yourself.

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Any tips for advancing myself in K12 ed without becoming a principal? I know it’s early but I’m feeling kinda hopeless at this point.