General PSA to patients from healthcare providers: What we want you to know

We bust our butts to provide timely compassionate care to our patients. We don't expect thanks or accolades but a little respect and paying your bill would be appreciated.

Claiming allergies to "all NSAIDS and Tylenol" does not make us more likely to give you opioids

The statement "I've done everything and I just cannot lose weight" is a false statement. If you burn more calories than you consume you will in fact lose weight.

Experiencing a common side effect to a drug is not the same as being allergic to that drug. "I'm allergic to doxycycline because it upset my stomach."

Although some very rare emergencies necessitate presenting for healthcare dirty or disheveled, there is no reason at all to forego basic hygiene like bathing within 2 days prior to the appointment, wearing deodorant, knocking the mud off your shoes, wearing clean clothes or at least ones that do not smell of animal or human excrement, or brushing your teeth sometime in the preceding week.

Stuttering out the first few letters or sounds of the drug you used a long time ago that sort of worked for your pain is not going to make us believe you are not directly drug seeking.

Antibiotics work on bacteria. They do not treat viruses. They are not person specific. Stop saying "Zithromax does not work for me" it is nonsense.

The threat of "I will find another doctor then" is not a bargaining chip when we choose not to bend to your demands for a test you don't warrant or a drug you don't need. In fact, that threat is likely what we're hoping for at that point of the conversation.

Treating our staff with disrespect is a sure way to be dismissed.

Leaving a phone message every 20 min for 3 hours will not motivate us to call you back any sooner.

Arriving at the office in time to fill out paper work, verify insurance, and get into room (especially for patients with mobility disabilities) will help assure you and everyone else is seen on time.

There is no need to bring all 7 of your children into the office or exam room just because 1 had a fever at school. The patient +/- a caregiver if required is really all we need in the room.

Use the restroom in the lobby while waiting to be roomed if so needed. Once roomed leaving the room for any reason delays your care and the care of everyone scheduled after you.

When your child is pitching a fit and won’t get on the scale, just pick them up weigh together, then set them down weigh alone and subtract.

The damage your uncontrolled children do to the office is your responsibility. Please don't let them write on the chairs or exam tables, tear the Formica off the countertops, or swing on the cabinet doors.

If you pay your bill in cash in full at the time of service most office will discount you significantly as the cost of tracking down all the non-payers gets expensive.

We are all well aware you did not slip and fall on that object now crammed up your rectum. Please spare us the lie.

And so much more


Healthcare providers, please feel free to chime in.