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re: Do you use sir and ma'am with older coworkers?
Posted on 1/21/16 at 3:37 pm to CorporateTiger
Posted on 1/21/16 at 3:37 pm to CorporateTiger
quote:
There is still being respectful everywhere. Tone, diction, body language, and volume can all convey respect much better than simply tacking the word Sir onto your sentences.
I don't mean to insinuate that corporate environments outside of the South are full of disrespectful heathens. My point is that I assume people dislike the use of sir/ma'am because it has become so rare that it seems sarcastic and/or condescending.
Posted on 1/21/16 at 3:38 pm to slackster
To be clear, in BR or across the Deep South, it is probably the way to go.
Some people will also find it charming if you have a southern accent, but overall it isn't in fashion elsewhere.
Some people will also find it charming if you have a southern accent, but overall it isn't in fashion elsewhere.
Posted on 1/21/16 at 3:38 pm to Big Scrub TX
quote:
Outside of the south (potentially only the "deep south") I would say it's actively unproductive to use them. It just isn't done and is not perceived as being respectful.
Ironically, I really only use it with very old employees, mostly women, who have no power...like a secretary or something.
Spot on, in my opinion.
Posted on 1/21/16 at 3:39 pm to slackster
That is probably correct, but it isn't like sir and ma'am have been in our language forever. No one would take you seriously saying m'lord or m'lady in a workplace. Dropping sir and ma'am is the next evolution of that.
Posted on 1/21/16 at 3:40 pm to CorporateTiger
quote:
overall it isn't in fashion elsewhere.
What happened? I'm genuinely curious why it has fallen out of flavor across the country.
Is this sort of like holding a door open for a woman in the north? Supposedly that is a rare occurrence and can be viewed as disrespectful.
Posted on 1/21/16 at 3:43 pm to slackster
Sone women do take that as a sexist act, but where I work that is rare. I typically hold the door/elevator for men and women and no one has ever questioned that.
Overall I think there has been a push to make workplaces more collegial and less formal. That combined with the age implications (especially for women), and the growing sarcastic use of the terms has really made it a no no.
Overall I think there has been a push to make workplaces more collegial and less formal. That combined with the age implications (especially for women), and the growing sarcastic use of the terms has really made it a no no.
Posted on 1/21/16 at 3:43 pm to CorporateTiger
quote:
Dropping sir and ma'am is the next evolution of that.
I've got a few clients who ask me to call them by their first name, without the Mr./Ms., and have said I don't need to use sir/ma'am. Out of respect I follow their wishes, but I'll be damned if it isn't an uncomfortable experience for me. I try not to use their name much at all and instead of "yes" and "no", I use "correct/incorrect" or else I'll default back to sir/ma'am.
Posted on 1/21/16 at 3:47 pm to CorporateTiger
quote:
I typically hold the door/elevator for men and women and no one has ever questioned that.
Yeesh, I hope not.
I'd imagine if you're from the area it probably isn't a big deal to skip on the sir and ma'am since it is seldom used throughout, but surely they'd be understanding to a transplant from the south who didn't know any better.
As I mentioned before, I understand some people don't want things to be that formal, but being offended by its use, particularly if the person using it is form the south, seems a bit much.
Posted on 1/21/16 at 3:54 pm to slackster
The first time the issue was brought up to me was in a mock interview in law school. The woman doing the interview afterwards said she understood and wasn't offended but (1) it wasn't common in the workplace anymore and (2) that the last thing you want to do is go into an interview/work and have a manager/partner take it the wrong way and punish you. It is much better to just go with the majority on this type of thing.
Posted on 1/21/16 at 3:58 pm to CorporateTiger
quote:
It is much better to just go with the majority on this type of thing.
I can agree with that, I just didn't realize the majority thought this way outside of the south.
Posted on 1/21/16 at 4:03 pm to athenslife101
Well I'm the boss to a 70 year old so it's weird if I say yes sir to him.
Posted on 1/21/16 at 5:18 pm to slackster
quote:
What happened? I'm genuinely curious why it has fallen out of flavor across the country.
I'm not sure it was ever as prevalent as depicted in movies way back in the day. I would say since at least the 70's in my experience it was considered at least odd-ish outside of the south. I can't recall a single business environment I've ever worked in where it was common practice. At my current shop, if the lowest guy on the totem pole said "yessir" to the highest guy, there would be lots of joking about it. It would just be bizarre.
I will also say another way I do find myself using it is instead of "what" or "excuse me" or "pardon me" when I haven't heard what an older person has said to me - like in a public situation I'll say, "sir?" to get him to repeat himself.
I think that underscores how it works better with strangers than with co-workers and/or "team members" as millenials insist on everything being now.
Posted on 1/21/16 at 5:20 pm to athenslife101
Always have, always will, and I'm old ....
Posted on 1/21/16 at 5:30 pm to slackster
quote:it is not a rare occurrence. You might run into some sjw who scoffs and posts a rant on tumblr but it's far from the norm
Supposedly that is a rare occurrence and can be viewed as disrespectful.
Posted on 1/21/16 at 5:33 pm to athenslife101
quote:
Do you use sir and ma'am with older coworkers?
Yes
Posted on 1/21/16 at 5:46 pm to athenslife101
I use it always unless they correct me or verbal give me permission not to. It's too easy to use sir and ma'am and get the raise/promotion that the guy who thinks he is "peers" misses out on.
Posted on 1/21/16 at 6:06 pm to CorporateTiger
quote:
That is probably correct, but it isn't like sir and ma'am have been in our language forever. No one would take you seriously saying m'lord or m'lady in a workplace. Dropping sir and ma'am is the next evolution of that.
Dude, piss off! You trolling I hope, if not you are a a-hole that wasn't taught manners. Shame on your Mom and Dad.
Posted on 1/21/16 at 6:26 pm to athenslife101
I'll use them occasionally with strangers ("Thank you, ma'am" when I get my change or something). That's about it. I wouldn't say it's frowned upon here but it's definitely considered a little odd. I have taught my kids to use it when we visit family in the South though. Of course, they're hit or miss with remembering because they don't normally say it.
Posted on 1/21/16 at 6:27 pm to northshorebamaman
Some women get upset thinking you are calling them old. Happened to
Me a lot in the yankeeland
Me a lot in the yankeeland
Posted on 1/21/16 at 6:30 pm to northshorebamaman
Well my kids, 35 and 32 used it all the time and it is expected of them.
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