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re: About to make a career/life change...
Posted on 6/12/14 at 7:52 am to lsunurse
Posted on 6/12/14 at 7:52 am to lsunurse
quote:
Yeah it does. He is saying if he plans on marrying the girl....do what it takes to keep the relationship and move.
I think you are confusing a 1 hr commute to work with a long distance relationship.
1
Posted on 6/12/14 at 7:55 am to 1336
A one hour drive to work ain't shite. Suck it up and move up in your company that you already have 4 yrs invested in. Use the 1 hour a day to listen to some music, calm down, clear your head...etc.
Really, it's not that big of a deal.
Really, it's not that big of a deal.
Posted on 6/12/14 at 7:56 am to dnm3305
I've been up all night....it happens
I still want to hear more about his gf buying a house. That's a red flag right there IMO. I realize they aren't married yet....but if you are in a long distance relationship you should be talking about what the plan is if things get serious.
If she's buying a house and he's debating about moving....clearly they are not on the same page.
I still want to hear more about his gf buying a house. That's a red flag right there IMO. I realize they aren't married yet....but if you are in a long distance relationship you should be talking about what the plan is if things get serious.
If she's buying a house and he's debating about moving....clearly they are not on the same page.
Posted on 6/12/14 at 7:57 am to 1336
quote:
The more into it is a whole different discussion.
Let's discuss this OP because the whole moving discussion revolves around this main variable...
Posted on 6/12/14 at 8:01 am to lsunurse
quote:
ut if you are in a long distance relationship
They're only 1 hour away
Posted on 6/12/14 at 8:08 am to htownjeep
I would still consider that long distance
And if they are gonna get married.....one of them will need to move
And if they are gonna get married.....one of them will need to move
Posted on 6/12/14 at 8:12 am to AU4real35
Stay at current job for advancement. Get job title changes over time. Switch to a new job making more money closer to your broad or dump her and party like a rock star.
If she bought a house an hour away, she either wears the pants or she isn't serious about yall's relationship.
I moved to New Orleans after dating a girl for a year and a half in BR. Awesome girl, and I had long-term aspirations for the relationship. Well, I am in school and busy all day and am at school or doing homework all night. She works all day and does the same at night.
Each one of us would make the drive depending on the day. Early work and late homework made it just kind of fizzle out over time, and I haven't seen her in 2 weeks at this point. I am not the type of person to be dependent on people, so it doesn't bother me, and I got used to it after a while. I still like her a lot, but realize it isn't gonna happen at this point
If she bought a house an hour away, she either wears the pants or she isn't serious about yall's relationship.
I moved to New Orleans after dating a girl for a year and a half in BR. Awesome girl, and I had long-term aspirations for the relationship. Well, I am in school and busy all day and am at school or doing homework all night. She works all day and does the same at night.
Each one of us would make the drive depending on the day. Early work and late homework made it just kind of fizzle out over time, and I haven't seen her in 2 weeks at this point. I am not the type of person to be dependent on people, so it doesn't bother me, and I got used to it after a while. I still like her a lot, but realize it isn't gonna happen at this point
Posted on 6/12/14 at 8:21 am to Hammertime
Sorry man, I agree with nurse. If a girl buys a house an hour away from her new job, she is living her future. The real question is whether or not you are going to be a part of it.
Posted on 6/12/14 at 8:22 am to Hammertime
quote:
If she bought a house an hour away, she either wears the pants or she isn't serious about yall's relationship.
This
Posted on 6/12/14 at 8:23 am to lsunurse
quote:
I still want to hear more about his gf buying a house. That's a red flag right there IMO. I realize they aren't married yet....but if you are in a long distance relationship you should be talking about what the plan is if things get serious.
If she's buying a house and he's debating about moving....clearly they are not on the same page.
Yup, I agree. I would hope that they have discussed this into much depth and alot more than he is letting on. Perhaps theyve discussed and agreed that her moving and buying a house was in fact part of THEIR future together and he's really only trying to decide on taking the job that's closer. Seems like his mind is already made up to move. I would move, keep the same job and let it play out. Alot of things can come to light during that time. He could quickly realize that living with her is not what he expected (not enough info given on relationship) and he would then be thankful he kept his job. He could also realize that the next step is marriage and that he's not liking the driving so the new job could come into play. I think moving and keeping current job is the right thing to do.
Edit: My best friend had to make this decision a few yrs ago. He and his at the time gf had been dating for a few yrs, were serious and she got a promotion but had to move to Dallas from Lafayette. He decided to move with her because it would benefit both of them in the long run and he installs and services commerical A/C systems so he knew he could find a job. He moved with her and they stayed there for about 1.5 yrs. She then got a promotion with the same company and it was back over here in Lafayette. They moved back and he got his old job back. They are now engaged and getting married later this year. Their relationship is what mattered and they did what they had to do to make it work.
This post was edited on 6/12/14 at 8:30 am
Posted on 6/12/14 at 8:24 am to dnm3305
Open your own business.
Posted on 6/12/14 at 8:25 am to 1336
quote:
I would have a two-hour round trip commute daily.
This would be tough on me, what is the time now to and from currently?
Posted on 6/12/14 at 8:26 am to 1336
quote:
a two-hour round trip commute daily.
two hours? as in one hour to work and one hour home?
I do this every single day, five days/week. So do most people in major cities. Don't be such a bitch about your commute. Suck it up buttercup and get in your car.
On a more serious note, I wouldn't ditch a job that offers better advancement opportunities for this gal if you aren't even married yet. I'd put more emphasis on my career.
Posted on 6/12/14 at 8:28 am to htownjeep
quote:
A one hour drive to work ain't shite.
I had an hour commute in Houston and hated it, sometimes I'd leave before daylight and get home after dark.
I don't like my current 15 minute commute
Posted on 6/12/14 at 8:36 am to yellowfin
Get at me when you drive 1-3hrs before sunrise every day to be in the woods when the sun comes up
We used to have loggers that would do the same, and drove from Jackson to Brusly every day
We used to have loggers that would do the same, and drove from Jackson to Brusly every day
Posted on 6/12/14 at 8:38 am to 1336
The woman should move for the man, not the other way around. If she doesn't realize that then she doesn't really care about the relationship.
Posted on 6/12/14 at 8:42 am to 1336
quote:
Life-changing decision due by noon tomorrow, so why not come to the OT for advice...
Been with a company for four years and things are looking promising for advancement within the next year.
SO moved an hour away to a better city. I have an offer for a lateral move there where I would be making 10% more with less opportunity for advancement.
If make the lateral move, I would physically move in with SO. If I keep my current job with better opportunity for advancement, I would have a two-hour round trip commute daily.
Gotta do the move, right? What says the mighty OT? Pics. PIIHB. Beta. Etc.
The real question you should be asking yourself, is are you planning on marrying this chick? If so, then go ahead. If no, then there is your answer. BTW, why did she move?
Posted on 6/12/14 at 8:49 am to yellowfin
quote:
I had an hour commute in Houston and hated it, sometimes I'd leave before daylight and get home after dark.
Yeah, it sounds like it was nothing alright, you make my point for me.
I'd move closer to work before moving further, those hours add up to more opportunities for road rage crazies, bad weather experiences and getting home late when there are accidents.
Posted on 6/12/14 at 8:55 am to Mulat
quote:
Yeah, it sounds like it was nothing alright, you make my point for me.
I should make your point because we agree on this
Posted on 6/12/14 at 9:02 am to dnm3305
Yea, she's already made the decision to buy a house, without any input from you. frick that. It should of been like this. Honey lets just find something half way between and go from there. Noooooo. I'm buying this fricking house 10 minutes from my work, and if you want to eat my pussy, which your not that good at, you need to do what I say. I'd break it off for awhile and just see each other every now and then, and adjust from there. Sounds like she's ready to move on. Sorry, the truth hurts. I bet her mother is ball of joy too.
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