On this years installment of "Tales From Tarpon Rodeo"

How is everyone doing today? My name is mylsuhat and I will tell you my accounts of the 2011 GITR. 

It's starts at 3:30 on Friday afternoon in New Orleans. I have been moving apartments so I didn't get to get down the bayou as early as I would have liked. But anyway, as many good weekends start, I stopped by the conveniently located Daiquiri shop a few hundred yards from my apartment. 3 minutes later I am back on the road. Gotta love a good Jungle Juice! 

On the way down, in Leeville, there is a car in front of me and you can tell they are having a good time. For some reason the guy in the back seat decided that I needed a beer, he rolls the window down, sits on the side of the car, I roll down my window and put my arm out just thinking 'please don't hit my truck.' Here comes the toss, and...... Splat! Just missed it. I knew right then and there though that this rodeo was going to be a good one. 

Two hours, 100 miles, and some dam good music later, I make it to the white sandy beaches and blue waters of Grand Isle, Louisiana. 

At the camp I meet up with Redneck, Motorboat, my buddy Kulanda (not his real name) and a few other guys. (Btw, thanks again Motorboat for having is over there. We had a good time and a good crew).  Motorboat cooked us some dam fine rice and gravy that night with a crab meat salad  

Eventually me, neck, and Kulanda headed down to my old high school friend's camp. (real life OT balla shite). We drink more beer, White Russians, and Peach Nasty I believe it was called. 

From there we headed to Sand Dollar Marina for some good ole fashion family fun. It wasn't hard to find the party with all of the people ad music crowded around.  We stayed here for a little while and watched these delightful young women work hard to support their children. They're most likely single moms so the least we could do was help them out. True charity work. I have a good video of some extreme talent, when I get a chance I'll make a "highlight reel"

On to Artie's! I honesty do not remember much of what happened at the bar. Saw a bunch of old high school friends and some booty popping. We also ran into Jose here and hung out for a good while. I was talked in to drunk dialing/texting BBMcGee, no telling what was said, I'll have to apologize for that later. 

We all left Artie's at different times. I get a text from Neck that read, and I quote, "Got lost, walkin back, pick me up if you see me on the other left side of the road." 

After a while I realize its about time for me to head back and get some shut eye. I mean, it was pushing 4 AM. I get to the camp (somehow) and crash on the sofa. Ten or so minutes later, Kulanda walks in with two women. He comes over and says "dude get up, I need a wingman!" challenge accepted  

Let me back up. I find out in the morning (well 6 PM) that Kulanda didn't technically "pick these girls up." He was walking back from the bar, stumbling and rumbling, and this car pulls up and offers a ride. Next thing you know they take him back to the bar for a drink. One drink down then headed to the camp. Doesn't get much better than that.  

We all sit at the table and shoot the shite while drinking whatever the hell was around. A walk on the beach was suggested so we headed out there. Two towels, some drinks and big ole smiles. 
 
The four of us are sitting on the beach for a total of  2 minutes when I look over and see Kulanda lip locked with his lady. Did I mention these two are sisters? Oh yeah. In true wingman fashion, I suggest to go walk to the water. Got to let them have a little alone time, didn't want he sister to cock block Kulanda. We're knee deep in the USGOM and start kissing a little and playing TSA agent, making sure there wasn't a bomb or box cutter under her bra. We head back to the towels and Kulanda is gone. Just our stuff is there. We sit down and resume what had started earlier. This is when I find out her son just recently graduated from high school!

We go back to the camp and my girl is curious where her sister was. She opened the bedroom door and we see her sitting on the corner of the bed, butt arse naked! Later that morning, another guy at the camp gets the word about what's going on. He takes a peak in and sees Kulanda completely passed out with her still going to town on him. 

We chuckled a bit then went on the sofa. She didn't want to do it there because the guys were starting to get up to go fishing so it was back to the beach for us. As cool as fricking on the beach sounds it's very dirty; lots of sand everywhere. But still bad arse. About ten minutes into it we get chased off the beach by a golf cart. Dammit! 

So I take her to the 2nd most romantic place I could think. Back seat of my truck  

Don't remember much after that but the sun was coming up at this point. Motorboat passed later and all he noticed was her passed out onto of me, once again, butt arse naked.  Must run in their family. 

After some time I went upstairs and crashed on the sofa all day. She was gone when I woke up, can't complain about that. 

That was all Friday night. I'm sure more happened but I can't remember. I know most of this story because of the other guys telling us what we did.  Im going to bed now but I'll recap Saturday later.