Johnny D's....WTF!?!?!?

First things first, the pizza was average. Not bad, but doesn't really stand out.

Now to the experience. I will refer to the hostess as Waitress #2 (you'll see why) and our, um, main waitress as Waitress #1. Their dialogue will be in italics.

We walk in.

Waitress #2: Ya'll can have a seat here (next to a large group). Wait, I feel bad, is this ok?

Sure, we say. (wait 10 minutes for a waitress)

Waitress #1: Can I get you some refreshments? An appetizer? (as she bounces back and forth, getting into personal space)

We order two unsweet teas and 6 buffalo wings. She leaves, then comes back.

Waitress #1: Dude, we're all out of wings....I'm sorry, I know how you feel, you really wanted them didn't you? (yes, I did, thanks for rubbing it in) Do you want some garlic cheesy bread? Probably not, its a lot of bread and will probably fill you up. (she runs off at this point)

Waitress #1 returns: I'm gonna light your candle...I love candles! (our candle was never lit)

Waitress #2 appears: I'll go ahead and get your order. (We look at her confused) Just tell the other waitress I went ahead and took it. (we both order pizzas) Ok, this won't be long, its only pizzas! (no shite, we just ordered two pizzas, we are aware that they are only pizzas)


Waitress #1 returns: Whoa, you guys look confused. Did someone take your order? (yes, we say...the other woman...she runs off, literally)

Waitress #1 goes to large table next to us taking orders (someone orders meatball poboy): Ok, meatball poboy....we have napkins (guy looks confused). I'm just saying, it is messy.....its good, but it is really messy.

Waitress #1 brings cheesy bread to large group: (Woman at table asks if pans are hot) Yes, ma'am. (Woman asks that she move the hot pans away from the 4 toddlers sitting at the table)

We get our pizzas and eat. While eating, I watch a couple come in and be told they would be seated shortly. Two minutes later, a family of four walks in and is immediately seated. The couple sitting down gets up seemingly perturbed...and with good reason.

Johnny appears: $3.00 of our outstanding buffet! (he throws us a couple of coupons that expire on Thursday)

Thanks, Johnny!

We finish our food and I nearly shite myself, run to the bathroom and find the TP rolling around on the floor with a broken TP holder on the wall. The TP is soaking wet. Then I see the automatic paper towel dispenser empty with a soaking wet roll of paper towels on top of it. I say screw it and end up blowing up CC's down the road.

Waitress #1: Are you guys interested in desert, yeah your full. (ok, she returns with bill explaining she charged us for cokes, but not to worry it is the same price as tea. She returns with comment card)

If you don't mind, could you fill this out to let us know how we did? Was the food good? (She then balls up her fist and puts it in my 8 month pregnant wife's face. Not knowing to laugh or backhand her, I try to figure it out. Evidently she was pretending to hold a microphone)

TigerBabe and I signed the card slip and got the hell out of there. I left out some other strange occurrences, but my fingers are tired.

DRUG TESTING.

Fock.

Doubt I'll be back, it stressed me out.