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9th circuit dissent: “This case is about swinging dicks”

Posted on 3/13/26 at 9:06 am
Posted by DesScorp
Alabama
Member since Sep 2017
9996 posts
Posted on 3/13/26 at 9:06 am
Actual text from a dissenting 9th circuit judge concerning the Olympic Spa case in Washington (cliff notes… women’s only spa wants to keep biological men out). A legal brief tailor-made for the OT:

quote:

This is a case about swinging dicks. The Christian owners of Olympus Spa—a traditional Korean, women-only, nude spa—understandably don't want them in their spa. Their female employees and female clients don't want them in their spa either. But Washington State insists on them. And now so does the Ninth Circuit. You may think that swinging dicks shouldn't appear in a judicial opinion. You're not wrong. But as much as you might understandably be shocked and displeased to merely encounter that phrase in this opinion, I hope we all can agree that it is far more jarring for the unsuspecting and exposed women at Olympus Spa— some as young as thirteen—to be visually assaulted by the real thing. Sometimes, it feels like the supposed adults in the room have collectively lost their minds. Woke regulators and complicit judges seem entirely willing, even eager, to ignore the consequences that their Frankenstein social experiments impose on real women and young girls.


As the link shows, the rest of the justices got the vapors that he has said “swinging dicks” in his dissent and seem entirely unconcerned about the swinging dicks in the women’s spa.

LINK
Posted by williamfrench3559
Member since Mar 2026
82 posts
Posted on 3/13/26 at 9:09 am to
quote:

Woke regulators and complicit judges seem entirely willing, even eager, to ignore the consequences that their Frankenstein social experiments impose on real women and young girls.

Posted by jrobic4
Baton Rouge
Member since Aug 2011
12924 posts
Posted on 3/13/26 at 9:40 am to
sounds like someone deserves a Presidential medal of Freedom!
Posted by junkfunky
Member since Jan 2011
36163 posts
Posted on 3/13/26 at 9:42 am to
Here is another classic.

Posted by MikeD
Baton Rouge
Member since Jan 2004
8294 posts
Posted on 3/13/26 at 9:48 am to
quote:

The public deserves a court that is actually trustworthy. We should be earning that trust, not demanding it like petty tyrants. Yes, the introduction to this dissent intentionally uses indecorous language. But that is quite literally what this case is about. Male genitalia is precisely (and only) what the Spa, for religious reasons, objects to admitting into its female-only space. The fact that so many on our court want to pretend that this case is about anything other than swinging dicks is the very reason the shocking language is necessary. The panel majority uses slick legal arguments and deflection to studiously avoid eye contact with the actual and horrific consequences of its erroneous opinion. The "ordinary Americans" affected by the majority's opinion don't have that luxury. Squirm as we might, I think it's only fair for our court to have a small taste of its own medicine.

Sometimes "dignified and civil" words are employed to mask a legal abomination. Or, to put it in vernacular perhaps more palatable to my colleagues' Victorian sensibilities: "In law, what plea so tainted and corrupt, / But, being seasoned with a gracious voice, / Obscures the show of evil?"


The dissent is speaking real truth
Posted by N2cars
Member since Feb 2008
38765 posts
Posted on 3/13/26 at 9:50 am to
Well-written and accurate.

Call it what it is and maybe some of those numbnutted, emasculated, pissants will get the point.
Posted by deltadummy
Member since Mar 2025
2185 posts
Posted on 3/13/26 at 9:51 am to
His response to his colleague's disapproval of his language:
The public deserves a court that is actually trustworthy. We should be earning that trust, not demanding it like petty tyrants. Yes, the introduction to this dissent intentionally uses indecorous language. But that is quite literally what this case is about. Male genitalia is precisely (and only) what the Spa, for religious reasons, objects to admitting into its female-only space. The fact that so many on our court want to pretend that this case is about anything other than swinging dicks is the very reason the shocking language is necessary. The panel majority uses slick legal arguments and deflection to studiously avoid eye contact with the actual and horrific consequences of its erroneous opinion. The "ordinary Americans" affected by the majority's opinion don't have that luxury. Squirm as we might, I think it's only fair for our court to have a small taste of its own medicine.

Judge's name is VanDyke. Can't make this up.

Posted by deeprig9
Unincorporated Ozora
Member since Sep 2012
74677 posts
Posted on 3/13/26 at 1:23 pm to
Trump appointment from 2019. Need to get him on the short list for Supreme Court. Super Christian-conservative guy.
Posted by BoomerandSooner
Member since Sep 2025
2481 posts
Posted on 3/13/26 at 2:10 pm to
Sadly not all of Trumps appoiniees were winners.

quote:

Judges Owens and Forrest (a Trump appointee) issued a one sentence statement:

Regarding the dissenting opinion of Judge VanDyke: We are better than this.
Posted by SoFla Tideroller
South Florida
Member since Apr 2010
40142 posts
Posted on 3/13/26 at 3:38 pm to
No one hates women like feminists and progressives.
Posted by SlowFlowPro
With populists, expect populism
Member since Jan 2004
472412 posts
Posted on 3/13/26 at 3:48 pm to
quote:

But as much as you might understandably be shocked and displeased to merely encounter that phrase in this opinion, I hope we all can agree that it is far more jarring for the unsuspecting and exposed women at Olympus Spa— some as young as thirteen—to be visually assaulted by the real thing.


Posted by MSTiger33
Member since Oct 2007
21584 posts
Posted on 3/13/26 at 4:15 pm to
quote:

Judge VanDyke


Posted by prplhze2000
Parts Unknown
Member since Jan 2007
57689 posts
Posted on 3/13/26 at 4:21 pm to
Reading the opinion right now. The spa's lawyers screwed up. They tried to beat the state on a First Amendment claim, not the actual regulatory scheme or violating their civil rights.
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