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Let’s hear your favorite dad jokes

Posted on 1/13/26 at 6:50 pm
Posted by HogPharmer
Member since Jun 2022
3481 posts
Posted on 1/13/26 at 6:50 pm
What do Alabama fans do on Halloween?

Pump-kin
Posted by wileyjones
Member since May 2014
2706 posts
Posted on 1/13/26 at 6:51 pm to
I was gonna tell a joke about sodium, but na
Posted by fr33manator
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
133807 posts
Posted on 1/13/26 at 6:53 pm to
How do you know when a joke is a dad joke?


When the punchline is ap-parent.
Posted by OldyMoldy
Member since May 2025
32 posts
Posted on 1/13/26 at 6:57 pm to
Why was the Portabello invited to all the parties?

Cause he’s a fun-gi.
Posted by fr33manator
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
133807 posts
Posted on 1/13/26 at 6:57 pm to
quote:

I was gonna tell a joke about sodium, but na



Who was your dad, Werner von Braun?

I do not-see zee humor in chemistry jokes.
Posted by BestBanker
Member since Nov 2011
19106 posts
Posted on 1/13/26 at 6:59 pm to
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
Posted by NotoriousFSU
Atlanta, GA
Member since Oct 2008
12113 posts
Posted on 1/13/26 at 7:00 pm to
Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water?

Because if they fell forwards they’d land in the boat.
Posted by jpbTiger
Tampa FL
Member since Dec 2007
5031 posts
Posted on 1/13/26 at 7:05 pm to
The cheese factory down the street blew up. Da Brie was everywhere.
Posted by clownbaby
beezwacks not yours
Member since Jan 2009
1077 posts
Posted on 1/13/26 at 7:10 pm to
What’s red and smells like blue paint?

Red paint

How do you kill a pink elephant? With a pink elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? Squeeze his nuts until he turns pink, then kill him with a pink elephant gun
Posted by Stevo
Baton Rouge
Member since Sep 2004
12383 posts
Posted on 1/13/26 at 7:11 pm to
Q: what's a dentist's favorite time of day?

A: tooth hurty.
Posted by Stevo
Baton Rouge
Member since Sep 2004
12383 posts
Posted on 1/13/26 at 7:14 pm to
Q: How do you tell the difference between a male chromosome and a female chromosome?

A: Pull down their jeans.
Posted by Dandanthegreatest
Metry
Member since Oct 2016
101 posts
Posted on 1/13/26 at 7:14 pm to
I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory!

They said I wasn’t putting in enough shifts
This post was edited on 1/13/26 at 9:22 pm
Posted by LSUBoo
Knoxville, TN
Member since Mar 2006
103621 posts
Posted on 1/13/26 at 7:20 pm to
How do robots have sex?


Nuts and bolts.
Posted by CocomoLSU
Inside your dome.
Member since Feb 2004
155643 posts
Posted on 1/13/26 at 7:20 pm to
Whats red and smells like blue paint?



Red paint.
Posted by tWildcat
Verona, KY
Member since Oct 2014
20150 posts
Posted on 1/13/26 at 7:24 pm to
Did you hear the company that makes yard sticks aren’t making them any longer?
Posted by BestBanker
Member since Nov 2011
19106 posts
Posted on 1/13/26 at 7:28 pm to
How do you keep an elephant from charging?


Take away his credit cards.
Posted by OweO
Plaquemine, La
Member since Sep 2009
120587 posts
Posted on 1/13/26 at 7:30 pm to
What do you get when you cross a fish with an elephant?



Swimming trucks.



One of my nephews told me this one.
Posted by UHadMeAtMeatTornado
TX
Member since Aug 2012
280 posts
Posted on 1/13/26 at 7:32 pm to
What do lawyers wear to court?

Lawsuits
This post was edited on 1/13/26 at 7:33 pm
Posted by PillageUrVillage
Mordor
Member since Mar 2011
15800 posts
Posted on 1/13/26 at 7:33 pm to
Two atoms were walking down the street. One turns to the other and says, “Oh no! I think I’m an ion!”

The other asks, “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m positive!”
Posted by Allthatfades
Mississippi
Member since Aug 2014
8857 posts
Posted on 1/13/26 at 7:37 pm to
What’s the hardest part about eating a vegetable?

Getting her out of the wheelchair
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