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When online pictures don't match real life
Posted on 11/22/25 at 10:55 am
Posted on 11/22/25 at 10:55 am
Met someone online who really seemed to check all the boxes — smart, driven, great career, only one child, totally self-sufficient, and ex-spouse doesn't seem to be an issue. And honestly, her pictures on the app are what originally caught my attention. We talked on the phone a bunch of times and really clicked, so we agreed to meet.
Before meeting, I looked at what little I could see from her IG and FB (they’re private), and those pictures were basically the same as her dating profile. So I figured, cool, what I see is what I’m going to get.
I show up … and she’s at least 40 lbs heavier than in those photos. I’m not trying to be shallow, and I really don’t want to be that guy. But I can’t help wondering how intentional this was. I’ve never been one to use filters or outdated pictures — if you’re genuinely interested in someone, you’re going to meet in person eventually, so why not just be real from the start?
I've had this happen a couple of times to me with different women I had an interest in.
Is FaceTime a requirement prior to meeting someone? Or should it be? Just trying to make sense of it.
Before meeting, I looked at what little I could see from her IG and FB (they’re private), and those pictures were basically the same as her dating profile. So I figured, cool, what I see is what I’m going to get.
I show up … and she’s at least 40 lbs heavier than in those photos. I’m not trying to be shallow, and I really don’t want to be that guy. But I can’t help wondering how intentional this was. I’ve never been one to use filters or outdated pictures — if you’re genuinely interested in someone, you’re going to meet in person eventually, so why not just be real from the start?
I've had this happen a couple of times to me with different women I had an interest in.
Is FaceTime a requirement prior to meeting someone? Or should it be? Just trying to make sense of it.
Posted on 11/22/25 at 10:56 am to Will Cover
quote:
Met someone online who really seemed to check all the boxes
quote:
only one child
Posted on 11/22/25 at 10:56 am to Will Cover
women pic filtering thread
Posted on 11/22/25 at 10:57 am to Will Cover
Find a chick from Poland or something
Not an entitled western woman
Not an entitled western woman
Posted on 11/22/25 at 10:58 am to Will Cover
quote:
We talked on the phone a bunch of times and really clicked, so we agreed to meet.
You shouldn't be talking on the phone a bunch of times before you meet in person. Lesson learned.
Posted on 11/22/25 at 10:58 am to Will Cover
Bonjour
You should know better and at the very least not be surprised by this misrepresentation.
You should know better and at the very least not be surprised by this misrepresentation.
Posted on 11/22/25 at 10:59 am to shutterspeed
quote:
only one child
At age 41, this is a plus in my book.
Posted on 11/22/25 at 10:59 am to MrSpock
quote:
You shouldn't be talking on the phone a bunch of times before you meet in person. Lesson learned.
only filters we had back in the day were beer goggles, and I got burned a time or two with those on
Posted on 11/22/25 at 10:59 am to Will Cover
quote:yes, because a lot of men are fat as frick, and they use a whole different picture on their profiles
Is FaceTime a requirement prior to meeting someone? Or should it be?
Posted on 11/22/25 at 11:00 am to MrSpock
quote:
You shouldn't be talking on the phone a bunch of times before you meet in person. Lesson learned.
Why?
Before I invest my time to drive out to meet someone, I want to know if they can initiate and hold a conversation.
Looks are important --- and probably even more so on a dating app initially. But characteristic traits and personality are more important long-term.
Posted on 11/22/25 at 11:01 am to Will Cover
join some clubs. volunteer. you'll both feel like a better human and meet women or people who know women.
Posted on 11/22/25 at 11:02 am to GreenRockTiger
quote:
a lot of men are fat as frick
now you're just hurting my feelings
Posted on 11/22/25 at 11:03 am to 777Tiger
quote:I can’t help it -I’m emotional and illogical
now you're just hurting my feelings
Posted on 11/22/25 at 11:03 am to GreenRockTiger
quote:
I’m emotional and illogical
sorry, I forgot
Posted on 11/22/25 at 11:05 am to Will Cover
quote:
At age 41, this is a plus in my book
Why are you boomers always looking for your next divorce? Stack some bread for your kids so they won’t be eating grass once the communists take over
Posted on 11/22/25 at 11:05 am to GreenRockTiger
quote:
I can’t help it -I’m emotional and illogical
Tracks. You’re a female.
Calm down, just a joke.
Posted on 11/22/25 at 11:06 am to Turnblad85
quote:
join some clubs. volunteer. you'll both feel like a better human and meet women or people who know women.
I have been thinking about this. Time for me to look into Healing Place Church again.
Posted on 11/22/25 at 11:09 am to Will Cover
quote:
Time for me to look into Healing Place Church again.
Just what you need. An ex stripper
Posted on 11/22/25 at 11:10 am to Will Cover
My wife tells me it works the other way, also. She was single for about 15 years before we met in 2017, and she met dates frequently online. Often when they met IRL, the guy was obese, and on one occasion, he was paraplegic (didn't show up in his profile and didn't mention it on the phone).
Posted on 11/22/25 at 11:13 am to Will Cover
quote:
smart, driven, great career, only one child, totally self-sufficient, and ex-spouse doesn't seem to be an issue.
Is she all these things?
quote:
I show up … and she’s at least 40 lbs heavier than in those photos
Aren't you in your 40s? Look I'm not judging, I'm just saying that someone without a ton of red flags and some extra chunk (they make ozempic) might serve you better than some pretty chick who's gonna steal your money
And saw off your penis
JMHO
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