French President Macron Claims He Fell Down The Stairs Again

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Rumors about a potential domestic spat that may have turned ugly were put to rest today, as French President Emmanuel Macron assured reporters that he had just fallen down some stairs again.

Macron's latest spill down the steps occurred just as reports indicated that he had been physically accosted by his wife, Brigitte, just as the couple was set to emerge from their plane after landing in Hanoi on Monday.

"It's fine. I'm fine. We're all fine here, now, thank you. How are you?" Macron replied to media questions while gingerly touching a swollen and bruised eye. "I just took another tumble down the stairs again, you know? I'm just so clumsy. I need to be better, I know. Better at going up and down stairs, I mean."

When asked for comment, the French First Lady corroborated her husband's account of the events. "Yes, it was the stairs," she told a reporter. "Maybe the stairs had just had enough of that stupid look on his face and decided to do something about it. Maybe he should learn to keep his mouth shut so that the stairs don't have to keep straightening him out. He should try just doing what the stairs tell him to do the first time, and things won't get so ugly."

Today's incident marked the latest in a long string of unfortunate accidents the French president suffered. "Nothing to worry about," he said. "You win some, you lose some, as they say. Or, being French, you lose a lot."

At publishing time, Macron had reportedly told one of his aides to purchase a fur coat and some flowers so he could apologize to the stairs.

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