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The month of January is known for ...

Posted on 1/5/25 at 9:05 am
Posted by Will Cover
Davidson, NC
Member since Mar 2007
39920 posts
Posted on 1/5/25 at 9:05 am
New Year's celebrations, cold weather, MLK Day, and ...

"Divorce Month."

Why? Because many couples choose to start the divorce process in January since many are not likely to divorce in November and December.

The second week of January is the most popular time for divorce filings in the United States. People start looking for information before the New Year starts, but they can’t do much until the attorneys are back in the office. January 12-16 seems to be the magic week for filings.

Post-holiday realiziations, holiday stress, New Year's resolutions (New Year, New You), Jody, social media influences, breakdown in communication which can lead to, "I don't like you, I don't love you, and I don't respect you," unresolved conflict, selfish behaviors, and bad financial decisions can show themselves, at any time, and especially in the month of January.

Interesting divorce statistics:

• 56 % of marriages end in divorce. That is the ones that end in divorce. What percentage stay together for the kids (conservatively 10 % and as much as 20 %)? Or stay together because they don’t want to give away half their shite? Another 10 % - that is conservative. Let’s say 20 %. You now have a “technology” that fails nearly 76 % of the time. That is insane. That’s more likely than not. If I told you there was 76 % chance that when you go outside you’re going to get hit with a bowling ball, you would not go out, or you would wear a helmet. But people just continue to get married and there is a presumption that you should get married, and if you don’t get married, “What is wrong with you?”

• Marriage is an inherently a negligent activity. It’s like owning a lion. The likelihood of someone getting hurt very seriously is incredibly high.

• Love is wonderful. But love and marriage have very little to do with each other.

• 84 % of people who get divorced are remarried within 5 years of their divorce. Think about that. Now you’ve done it, and failed, felt the pain of the loss, and within 5 years, 84 % are remarried.

• Women leave men 80 % of the time. And if they’re college educated, it’s 90 %.

• Women initiate 70 % of all divorces.

• 2 out of 3 marriages will make it to their 10th anniversary, but only 1 out of 3 marriages will make it to their 25th anniversary.

• 73 % of third marriages end up in divorce.

I hope none of you who are married have to go through this. There will be those who will chime in and say getting a divorce and finding someone else is the best thing that ever happened to them. And perhaps it is. But the process of stonewalling, no communication, disrespect, avoidance that all lead to the divorce, that took place months and years prior to the actual separation/divorce --- and factor in your children --- is no fun for anyone -- and is costly, emotionally, mentally, and even financially.





This post was edited on 1/5/25 at 9:07 am
Posted by Buga_Scores
L.C
Member since Jul 2014
1885 posts
Posted on 1/5/25 at 9:08 am to
quote:

I hope none of you who are married have to go through this. There will be those who will chime in and say getting a divorce and finding someone else is the best thing that ever happened to them. And perhaps it is. But the process of stonewalling, no communication, disrespect, avoidance that all lead to the divorce, that took place months and years prior to the actual separation/divorce --- and factor in your children --- is no fun for anyone.
Nailed it with this part.
Posted by GruntbyAssociation
Member since Jul 2013
8615 posts
Posted on 1/5/25 at 9:10 am to
I parted with my wife in 2018 because she was ruining me financially. She had no concept of money and how it works. I will much more closely evaluate the next, if there ever is one. I would’ve loved for it to work.
Posted by St Augustine
The Pauper of the Surf
Member since Mar 2006
71028 posts
Posted on 1/5/25 at 9:16 am to
quote:

56 % of marriages end in divorce. That is the ones that end in divorce. What percentage stay together for the kids (conservatively 10 % and as much as 20 %)? Or stay together because they don’t want to give away half their shite? Another 10 % - that is conservative. Let’s say 20 %. You now have a “technology” that fails nearly 76 % of the time. That is insane. That’s more likely than not. If I told you there was 76 % chance that when you go outside you’re going to get hit with a bowling ball, you would not go out, or you would wear a helmet. But people just continue to get married and there is a presumption that you should get married, and if you don’t get married, “What is wrong with you?”


Yeah but what percentage of actual people are responsible for this? Everyone touts the approximately 50% of marriages ending in divorce but I’ve also read that it’s a smaller number of people getting divorced multiple times.

This post was edited on 1/5/25 at 9:17 am
Posted by duckblind56
South of Ellick
Member since Sep 2023
4530 posts
Posted on 1/5/25 at 9:20 am to
quote:

It’s like owning a lion. The likelihood of someone getting hurt very seriously is incredibly high.


Posted by DarthRebel
Tier Five is Alive
Member since Feb 2013
25001 posts
Posted on 1/5/25 at 9:21 am to
It is modern society and not the institution of marriage.

This post was edited on 1/5/25 at 9:24 am
Posted by DarthRebel
Tier Five is Alive
Member since Feb 2013
25001 posts
Posted on 1/5/25 at 9:24 am to
quote:

Everyone touts the approximately 50% of marriages ending in divorce but I’ve also read that it’s a smaller number of people getting divorced multiple times.


I could buy into this. As I have aged, I know less divorced people, but the ones I know are multi offenders.
Posted by tigerbutt
Deep South
Member since Jun 2006
26127 posts
Posted on 1/5/25 at 9:26 am to
Going on 24 years and couldn’t be more miserable….lol just kidding.
Posted by Rouge
Floston Paradise
Member since Oct 2004
138190 posts
Posted on 1/5/25 at 9:27 am to
46 and never married

Being unlovable has its advantages.
Posted by Will Cover
Davidson, NC
Member since Mar 2007
39920 posts
Posted on 1/5/25 at 9:29 am to
quote:


It is modern society and not the institution of marriage.


I agree with this. Marriage, used to be, till death do us part. Divorce was seen as shameful or as a failure.

I also believe that many who wind up being divorced put their "happiness" on their spouse. I can clearly remember my ex-wife telling me, "You can't make me happy, and I won't let you make me happy." That was her belief. I have a different position with happiness.

Every single one of us is responsible for our own happiness. To place the burden on your spouse to provide you with happiness is a weight that no one carry.
This post was edited on 1/5/25 at 9:30 am
Posted by Bulldozer1899
Member since Aug 2017
165 posts
Posted on 1/5/25 at 9:30 am to
I’m in this thread.

17 years.

Waiting for attorney to get back to work to file.

Posted by Will Cover
Davidson, NC
Member since Mar 2007
39920 posts
Posted on 1/5/25 at 9:32 am to
quote:

46 and never married

Being unlovable has its advantages.


I'm 50. I don't know if I will ever get remarried. It's not that I don't want friendship, companionship, and vulnerability. I do. But statistically speaking, 1 in 4 second marriages will end in just 5 years, and overall, 67 % end in divorce.

If you had 67 % chance of odds winning at a casino, you'd go daily, knowing the laws of probability are on your side. Flip the script, and somehow people think they will defy the odds of divorce. Just goes to show how many times people often use emotion over logic.
This post was edited on 1/5/25 at 9:32 am
Posted by El Segundo Guy
1-866-DHS-2-ICE
Member since Aug 2014
11415 posts
Posted on 1/5/25 at 9:32 am to
Divorce really beats you up financially and mentally. It's very possible to come out of it in a good place but it's hard to see that while you're in the midst of it.

Went through two of them, one that was miserable and one that wasn't bad. I wouldn't recommend it at all. But if you keep your head down and keep plugging, better days are ahead.
Posted by drexyl
Mingovia
Member since Sep 2005
23344 posts
Posted on 1/5/25 at 9:32 am to
quote:

Love is wonderful. But love and marriage have very little to do with each other.


You can try and separate them but you will see that’s just an illusion. After that you can really only come to one conclusion.
Posted by LSU Coyote
Member since Sep 2007
56294 posts
Posted on 1/5/25 at 9:32 am to
quote:

MLK Day

Basketball ball!

Posted by NewIberiaHaircut
Lafayette
Member since May 2013
12323 posts
Posted on 1/5/25 at 9:33 am to
Getting married and creating a family is the best thing that I’ve ever done. Sorry it’s not working out for some of you baws.
Posted by tonydtigr
Beautiful Downtown Glenn Springs,Tx
Member since Nov 2011
6457 posts
Posted on 1/5/25 at 9:33 am to
Hmmm. LINK
Posted by jizzle6609
Houston
Member since Jul 2009
17765 posts
Posted on 1/5/25 at 9:34 am to
quote:

Yeah but what percentage of actual people are responsible for this? Everyone touts the approximately 50% of marriages ending in divorce but I’ve also read that it’s a smaller number of people getting divorced multiple times.


Common overreaction to short term data.

When these people pull these numbers we always fail to include technology took off in 90s. Facebook hit and boom divorces increased.

Now there has been 24 years of data and what I think people learned was to be selective, which should’ve always been the case. Their ability to find someone outside their locale gives reason for pause as well.

I suspect the data will tighten up.

Posted by Will Cover
Davidson, NC
Member since Mar 2007
39920 posts
Posted on 1/5/25 at 9:35 am to
quote:

Bulldozer1899


quote:


I’m in this thread.

17 years.

Waiting for attorney to get back to work to file.


I'm truly sorry. I made to 18 years, although we were separated by then. Nearly 25 years in total.

I'm 2 + years post-divorce, and 3 + years separated. The scars remain, but life goes on. You will have lows. You will have highs. Just focus on you, and improve yourself as best as you can and you will be okay. Even in the darkest of times when you might question how you will make it. You will.

If you have children together, become the best parent that you can be to your children. You will always be their father, just like your soon to be ex-wife will always be their mother.
Posted by soccerfüt
Location: A Series of Tubes
Member since May 2013
72967 posts
Posted on 1/5/25 at 9:41 am to
quote:

I'm 2 + years post-divorce, and 3 + years separated.
Time for you to get back up on the bucking bronco-

quote:

From the OP:

84 % of people who get divorced are remarried within 5 years of their divorce. Think about that. Now you’ve done it, and failed, felt the pain of the loss, and within 5 years, 84 % are remarried.
<——Working on year 41, admittedly good luck in addition to working on it.

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