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Lawyers - post interesting or humorous court stories
Posted on 8/20/24 at 5:11 pm
Posted on 8/20/24 at 5:11 pm
I was sitting in court watching the Judge call the docket for some criminal cases. I was sitting next to the Victim's Advocate who had a copy of the docket. I was following along, looking at her docket.
He is flying through the docket until he reaches an entry for "Diarrea Wilson" (I changed the last name for privacy). The Judge stops. He looks at me and I'm trying hard not to laugh. After about thirty seconds, he said "Ms. Wilson, I'm not sure I know how to pronounce your name." She replies "DEE AREA."
I was really hoping the Judge would call out Diarrhea Wilson.
He is flying through the docket until he reaches an entry for "Diarrea Wilson" (I changed the last name for privacy). The Judge stops. He looks at me and I'm trying hard not to laugh. After about thirty seconds, he said "Ms. Wilson, I'm not sure I know how to pronounce your name." She replies "DEE AREA."
I was really hoping the Judge would call out Diarrhea Wilson.
This post was edited on 8/20/24 at 5:16 pm
20
Posted on 8/20/24 at 5:20 pm to chinhoyang
Not a court story, but a lawyer story. My dad was handling a deed signing. The parties came in at different times. Both the guys were illiterate and signed their name with an X. The second guy came in, saw the first guy's signature and said "Somebody has forged my name!"
Posted on 8/20/24 at 5:20 pm to chinhoyang
One time, an indigent defendant showed up for a criminal status hearing and was expecting to meet his lawyer there. When the judge asked him who his lawyer was, the defendant replied "Will Retain". The judge then asked when he hired him and the defendant said, "I don't know - it says on my notice that my lawyer is "Will Retain".
This post was edited on 8/20/24 at 5:21 pm
Posted on 8/20/24 at 5:21 pm to chinhoyang
I was at the court and the judge kept calling for
le-a Williams and nobody answered
Eventually one woman stood up and said her name was ledasha Williams, the dash don’t be silent
le-a Williams and nobody answered
Eventually one woman stood up and said her name was ledasha Williams, the dash don’t be silent
This post was edited on 8/20/24 at 5:22 pm
Posted on 8/20/24 at 5:23 pm to chinhoyang
quote:
Lawyers - post interesting or humorous court stories
What an ironic way to garner further hatred.
Posted on 8/20/24 at 5:23 pm to Dandaman
Gidget goes to court. Used to be passed around as a VHS, but it's on YouTube now. I die laughing every time the guy asks if he can wear a mask while on camera then pulls one out and puts it on
Posted on 8/20/24 at 5:29 pm to chinhoyang
I once went to the 19th JDC on April 1st with a pack of underwear and asked if I could file these briefs. They were either retarded or unamused.
Posted on 8/20/24 at 5:35 pm to chinhoyang
This incident is undoubtedly very common, but I'll never forget it. I found out during a trial while my client was on the stand that he was f'ing lying. I'd prepared properly for the trial assuming that my client was telling me the truth. The dispute was over a construction issue. Things went south badly when he got busted on the stand. I don't do trial work anymore. 
Posted on 8/20/24 at 5:39 pm to chinhoyang
I saw an attorney present for a no fault divorce case get dismissed because neither she nor her pleadings actually asked for a divorce as relief.
Posted on 8/20/24 at 5:56 pm to chinhoyang
About 20 yrs ago as part of my job I had to attend a court hearing. I've long since forgotten why.
For some reason I sat through jury selection for another case.
One white guy showed up in a dirty T shirt & torn jeans. He clearly did not want to be selected.
An elderly black man showed up in a coat that might have belonged to his grandfather - obviously his Sunday go to meeting clothes.
Another black guy, about late 30s, came in parachute pants a la MC Hammer. Apparently his formal wear, which he had maintained in immaculate condition for 15 yrs.
For some reason I sat through jury selection for another case.
One white guy showed up in a dirty T shirt & torn jeans. He clearly did not want to be selected.
An elderly black man showed up in a coat that might have belonged to his grandfather - obviously his Sunday go to meeting clothes.
Another black guy, about late 30s, came in parachute pants a la MC Hammer. Apparently his formal wear, which he had maintained in immaculate condition for 15 yrs.
Posted on 8/20/24 at 5:57 pm to facher08
quote:should've brought a ladder to take it to a higher court.
I once went to the 19th JDC on April 1st with a pack of underwear and asked if I could file these briefs
Posted on 8/20/24 at 6:07 pm to chinhoyang
Looking at her docket
LINK
LINK
Posted on 8/20/24 at 6:14 pm to Jim Rockford
Another story from my Dad. Jury selection. The judge is asking the guy on the stand if he can make a fair decision and the guy says he doesn't know. The judge asks him why. "Your honor, everybody in town knows I'm wishy-washy."
Posted on 8/20/24 at 6:17 pm to chinhoyang
Nice try, your honor
Posted on 8/20/24 at 6:29 pm to chinhoyang
Do shithouse lawyers count?
Posted on 8/20/24 at 6:59 pm to chinhoyang
I once was watching a preliminary hearing concerning stolen jewelry in my small town. The out of town lawyer was questioning a deputy and asked if he had checked any pawn shops to see if the jewelry had turned up. The deputy told him we didn’t have any pawn shops but he had checked in on some crack houses to see if they had it.
Posted on 8/20/24 at 7:24 pm to chinhoyang
I saw a guy get sentenced to around 130 years by a judge after a trial. He was an habitual offender, so the sentence would be served day for day.
He looked at the judge and said something like “judge there ain’t no way I can serve that much time” to which the judge responded “I know son, just do the best you can”
He looked at the judge and said something like “judge there ain’t no way I can serve that much time” to which the judge responded “I know son, just do the best you can”
Posted on 8/20/24 at 7:24 pm to chinhoyang
I'm trying to recall some I've heard from golfing buddies.
One was representing a man who had an injury to his privates that caused his member to get enlarged but prevented it from becoming fully erect. Seriously, there was a name for his condition. In a pretrial conference the judge asked what the injury was and the man's attorney whipped out photos. Whereupon the judge said, "You call that an injury? I know guys who would pay good money for that!"
One was representing a man who had an injury to his privates that caused his member to get enlarged but prevented it from becoming fully erect. Seriously, there was a name for his condition. In a pretrial conference the judge asked what the injury was and the man's attorney whipped out photos. Whereupon the judge said, "You call that an injury? I know guys who would pay good money for that!"
Posted on 8/20/24 at 7:45 pm to chinhoyang
Paging LSUJudge.....paging LSUJudge....I'm sure he will comment on here shortly with another amazing story.
Posted on 8/20/24 at 8:06 pm to chinhoyang
I had client whose brother and brother's husband (yep) filed for a bogus protective order against him (my client). The brother and his husband did not have an attorney. My client told me that both of them were felons and had smoked meth (at least in the past). My client also told me that his dad (who also apparently a nut) gave his brother a gun.
I cross-examined the brother and his husband getting them to admit on the stand to being felons, previously using meth, and having a gun in the home. This was in a very rural parish with a very conservative judge. Before he dismissed the case against my the client, the judge said, "I want to remind everyone of their 5th amendment rights and suggest that you look into what it means to possess a firearm as a felon, especially with an assisstant DA sitting right here in the court room." He was not amused.
I cross-examined the brother and his husband getting them to admit on the stand to being felons, previously using meth, and having a gun in the home. This was in a very rural parish with a very conservative judge. Before he dismissed the case against my the client, the judge said, "I want to remind everyone of their 5th amendment rights and suggest that you look into what it means to possess a firearm as a felon, especially with an assisstant DA sitting right here in the court room." He was not amused.
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