re: Pros and Cons

A big one I didn't see mentioned yet:

She is permanently tied to her ex. They have a kid together, so there's a good chance he will be part of the equation.

That means that his parenting style will play a part in how the kid is raised. A shitty ex can destroy all the good parenting you and the woman implement in a single weekend. I see it with a buddy of mine. He and his new wife do their best to instill love and discipline in their kids, only to have one weekend with the ex wife frick it all up.

And it's a roll of the dice as to whether the babydaddy will be cool, or a complete a-hole. Or even worse, a psycho.

I dated a single mom with a PSYCHO babydaddy. Seriously. He refused to let her go and because they had a kid together he had permanent ties to her. He'd call her and leave voice mails that were a case study in mental illness. 45 minutes of non-stop stream of conscious mental vomit spanning every emotion from panic to sorrow to rage to grief. Not just one voicemail, constant calls. Especially when he knew she was with me.

She was an incredible woman and I actually think I would have married her if not for that evil bastard. It got to the point where I kept a gun on me when I was out and one close to the front door. I truly thought I was going to have to kill him.

The last straw was when he went to her parents house and took the kid from them. He held the kid hostage until she agreed to move back in with him. That was it. I knew I'd never be rid of him and I had to move on. Hurt like hell because I did love her.

They are still together. She and I have talked and she's miserable but can't (or won't) leave.

If you're dating a single mom and the ex sends off red flag vibes, hit and quit it before you get too deep in the relationship. Trust me.