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Message
re: Dear diary, tired of living (update pg 15)
Posted on 11/27/23 at 4:43 pm to TexasTiger08
Posted on 11/27/23 at 4:43 pm to TexasTiger08
quote:
I’m here. I’ve been catching up on reading the replies, good and bad. I suppose tough love can be better than no love at times.
The first step in healing is realizing flaws within ones self.
Seriously though, read The Meditations by Marcus Aurelius.
Read it.
This post was edited on 11/27/23 at 4:44 pm
Posted on 11/27/23 at 4:51 pm to TexasTiger08
It’s already been said but for the sake of getting it across…. Step outside of your self centered bubble for a moment. Think about those few people who you say you know love you. Go and do something nice for someone else or one of them. Visit someone, do some work for them, or bring a deck of cards to a nursing home. It’s in giving that we receive. Your life shouldn’t be about you. A life spent on others is a life well lived.
Posted on 11/27/23 at 4:54 pm to TexasTiger08
Where in Texas do you live?
Posted on 11/27/23 at 5:08 pm to TexasTiger08
And how old are you again?
Posted on 11/27/23 at 5:10 pm to TexasTiger08
People have told you to let love motivate you. Give spite a try. I think you need to live your best life, if only to show your whore-of-an-ex that she made the worst mistake of her life. Make her rue the day she ruined your relationship. And eventually, you'll be asking yourself what the hell you saw in her in the first place.
Posted on 11/27/23 at 5:11 pm to TexasTiger08
I wish I had something encouraging to say. I have been battling severe depression for the last 5 years. It goes in peaks and valleys. There is progress and there are setbacks.
What I have found is that I am most depressed when:
1. I feel alone in a crowd.
2. When the chores are piling up at home (dirty dishes in the sink, laundry, general mess and clutter)
3. When I don’t reach out to friends for a hang, even if it’s just someone to be at my house while I do chores.
4. When I’m having health problems
5. When I’m not exercising regularly
6. When I’m dealing with a rejection, whether that be romantic or professional
7. When I am struggling financially
Depression is worst when I feel out of control of my life, lacking in purpose, rejected (whether real or imagined), or I feel like I am in over my head to the point that I can’t possibly catch up.
I feel best when I am around people I care about, when I feel a part of something larger than myself, when I have a clear goal which I’m working towards that feels obtainable with noticeable progression along the way.
Some habits that have helped are:
1. learning the thoughts and situations that trigger emotional spirals, and purposefully intervening those thoughts to slow or reverse the descent.
2. Exercising regularly
3. Getting good sleep, but not too much
4. Setting a timer to focus on chores, particularly cleaning, for 10 minutes at a time. I rarely stop when the timer goes off, but setting the timer helps my brain to relax and feel like it’s nbd. Just doing a little bit really adds up over time to a significantly less chaotic environment.
5. Inviting friends over to just be around while I do things.
6. Enrolling myself in organizations, clubs, and activities that have a significant social component.
Finally, if you’re frequently feeling suicidal, do whatever it takes to stop it from happening. Don’t just get professional help (though definitely do that). I once removed all the knives from my home. I didn’t tell anyone, just boxed them up and dropped them off in the garage at my parents’ house until I wasn’t struggling as bad a few months later. Tell yourself anything, lie if you have to. Do whatever it takes to keep you alive. I was so crazy at one point, that what kept me from killing myself was a delusional belief that I had become immortal. It was crazy, but it worked. If keeping things together for when your girl comes back is the only thing keeping you going, keep lying to yourself, even when you know she’s never coming back, until you’re strong enough to survive the truth.
What I have found is that I am most depressed when:
1. I feel alone in a crowd.
2. When the chores are piling up at home (dirty dishes in the sink, laundry, general mess and clutter)
3. When I don’t reach out to friends for a hang, even if it’s just someone to be at my house while I do chores.
4. When I’m having health problems
5. When I’m not exercising regularly
6. When I’m dealing with a rejection, whether that be romantic or professional
7. When I am struggling financially
Depression is worst when I feel out of control of my life, lacking in purpose, rejected (whether real or imagined), or I feel like I am in over my head to the point that I can’t possibly catch up.
I feel best when I am around people I care about, when I feel a part of something larger than myself, when I have a clear goal which I’m working towards that feels obtainable with noticeable progression along the way.
Some habits that have helped are:
1. learning the thoughts and situations that trigger emotional spirals, and purposefully intervening those thoughts to slow or reverse the descent.
2. Exercising regularly
3. Getting good sleep, but not too much
4. Setting a timer to focus on chores, particularly cleaning, for 10 minutes at a time. I rarely stop when the timer goes off, but setting the timer helps my brain to relax and feel like it’s nbd. Just doing a little bit really adds up over time to a significantly less chaotic environment.
5. Inviting friends over to just be around while I do things.
6. Enrolling myself in organizations, clubs, and activities that have a significant social component.
Finally, if you’re frequently feeling suicidal, do whatever it takes to stop it from happening. Don’t just get professional help (though definitely do that). I once removed all the knives from my home. I didn’t tell anyone, just boxed them up and dropped them off in the garage at my parents’ house until I wasn’t struggling as bad a few months later. Tell yourself anything, lie if you have to. Do whatever it takes to keep you alive. I was so crazy at one point, that what kept me from killing myself was a delusional belief that I had become immortal. It was crazy, but it worked. If keeping things together for when your girl comes back is the only thing keeping you going, keep lying to yourself, even when you know she’s never coming back, until you’re strong enough to survive the truth.
This post was edited on 11/27/23 at 5:19 pm
Posted on 11/27/23 at 5:13 pm to TexasTiger08
Good luck. Don’t be a dirtbag and off yourself.
People care about you and if you do that to them you are a dirtbag.
I highly recommend The Meditations of Marcus Aurelius.
It helps me daily
People care about you and if you do that to them you are a dirtbag.
I highly recommend The Meditations of Marcus Aurelius.
It helps me daily
Posted on 11/27/23 at 5:19 pm to Chad504boy
quote:
Does anyone know if this was ever verified through a paternity test?
I also can’t remember now if he is going by a non-invasive prenatal paternity test or the word of a cheater. Seems like affair was already going on at time of conception. A lot of encouraging words and motivation here have been based on becoming a dad which could really turn things the wrong way quickly if not the case.
Posted on 11/27/23 at 5:22 pm to TexasTiger08
don't do it. It's harder on the people around you then you would beleive. I'm speaking from experience.
Posted on 11/27/23 at 5:23 pm to dallastigers
Unless something changed he’s going off her word or probably just what he told himself
Posted on 11/27/23 at 5:23 pm to TexasTiger08
quote:
my unborn daughter that my cheating and soon-to-be ex-wife will deliver in a few months
Needs to be the focus that keeps you going.
Do it for her.
Posted on 11/27/23 at 5:27 pm to Gings5
quote:
And how old are you again?
37
Posted on 11/27/23 at 5:30 pm to TexasTiger08
Check out Rollo Tomassi on YouTube, Rational Male. He is instrumental in helping men deal with the outcomes from marital infidelity etc
Posted on 11/27/23 at 5:30 pm to TexasTiger08
You need to focus on self improvement, specifically physical self-improvement.
If you off yourself, who does that benefit? You think the ex is going to feel bad about what she did? It’ll just reinforce in her mind she made the right decision
Stop feeling sorry for yourself and pick yourself up. Today
If you off yourself, who does that benefit? You think the ex is going to feel bad about what she did? It’ll just reinforce in her mind she made the right decision
Stop feeling sorry for yourself and pick yourself up. Today
Posted on 11/27/23 at 5:38 pm to Proximo
quote:
He came here initially (several months ago) for encouragement and refused to even consider that the kid likely isn’t his.
That was the thread we all waited for a bombshell reveal that never really was?
Posted on 11/27/23 at 5:41 pm to TexasTiger08
Go do things for others to make yourself feel better. And Get off your arse. Go outside and do something.
Posted on 11/27/23 at 5:42 pm to TexasTiger08
You have a whole lot of life ahead of you. I wish I did. My devil was a beer can. Almost ruined everything for me but I dug deep and quit. Best move I have ever made, but I’m 63 and wish I would have stopped 25 years ago… just trying to say is that you only live once.. make the most of it…..
Posted on 11/27/23 at 5:43 pm to kingbob
quote:
I once removed all the knives from my home. I didn’t tell anyone, just boxed them up and dropped them off in the garage at my parents’ house until I wasn’t struggling as bad a few months later.
Damn. I couldn’t do Hari Kiri. That’s brutal.
I have a .357 that does 1950 feet a second. It has a 6” barrel. Figured about two inches from the back of my throat through my medulla oblangta.
Three quarters of a foot total travel from the primer to oblivion. Won’t even hear the snap of the hammer. Have my big duffle bag with towels and a blanket that I will contain the mess with.
If it ever comes to that.
Posted on 11/27/23 at 5:43 pm to TexasTiger08
I wish we lived closer. I’m in Houston. I would love to meet up and talk in person as I’m around that age as well.
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