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re: What's your best "dad joke" or one-liners?
Posted on 9/4/23 at 8:20 pm to Go_Dawgs
Posted on 9/4/23 at 8:20 pm to Go_Dawgs
Bout made my kid piss herself the other evening.
Me: Gotta take one of these beans out the pot (throws a single bean in the garbage)
Daughter: why’d you throw a bean out?
Me: well, had to make it 239 beans, I didn’t want it to be 240(too farty)
Me: Gotta take one of these beans out the pot (throws a single bean in the garbage)
Daughter: why’d you throw a bean out?
Me: well, had to make it 239 beans, I didn’t want it to be 240(too farty)
Posted on 9/4/23 at 8:22 pm to Will Cover
How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
It's not hard.....
It's not hard.....
Posted on 9/4/23 at 8:23 pm to Go_Dawgs
Why don't scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
Because they make up everything!
Posted on 9/4/23 at 8:26 pm to Big_country346
What do you call a fish with no "eyes"?
Fsh
Fsh
Posted on 9/4/23 at 8:27 pm to Will Cover
What did the mayonnaise say when the fridge opened?
Hey, I'm dressing!
Hey, I'm dressing!
Posted on 9/4/23 at 8:31 pm to Will Cover
An avid golfer met a hot chick at the bar who loves golfers. They ended up at his place and begin having sex. When finished he rolled over to have a smoke.
She said me and Arnold Palmer would do it twice, so he got back on and did it again.
He rolls over to light a smoke and she said, me and Arnie always did it 3 times. He was like what, you and Arnie would do it three times? Yes. Not wanting to be out done by a 70 plus year old man he got back in and had sex a third time.
He rolls over and picks up the phone. She said what are you doing? He said I’m calling Arnold to find out what the par is on this hole.
She said me and Arnold Palmer would do it twice, so he got back on and did it again.
He rolls over to light a smoke and she said, me and Arnie always did it 3 times. He was like what, you and Arnie would do it three times? Yes. Not wanting to be out done by a 70 plus year old man he got back in and had sex a third time.
He rolls over and picks up the phone. She said what are you doing? He said I’m calling Arnold to find out what the par is on this hole.
Posted on 9/4/23 at 8:41 pm to Shunface
Did you hear about the racist pirate?
He uses the hard Arrrrrr
He uses the hard Arrrrrr
Posted on 9/4/23 at 8:46 pm to fr33manator
What did the 79 year old pirate say on his birthday? Aye Matey!
Posted on 9/4/23 at 8:47 pm to yakster
A Mexican walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. Bartender says “Wow, where did you get that thing?” Parrot says” Mexico, there’s millions of em”
Posted on 9/4/23 at 8:57 pm to yakster
Did you hear about the man that got crushed by 15,000 cheese wheels?
There's Stiltons of DeBrie on him
There's Stiltons of DeBrie on him
Posted on 9/4/23 at 9:05 pm to fr33manator
Kid... "My arm hurts"
Me... "Does your face hurt?"
Kid... "No, why"
Me... "Because it's killing me"
Me... "Does your face hurt?"
Kid... "No, why"
Me... "Because it's killing me"
Posted on 9/4/23 at 9:06 pm to fr33manator
I got to break this bad boy out last week...
My teenage son was getting ready for school and asked me if I could make him a sandwich.
I said, "Abra Cadabra, you're a sandwich".
He just walked back to his room without another word.
My teenage son was getting ready for school and asked me if I could make him a sandwich.
I said, "Abra Cadabra, you're a sandwich".
He just walked back to his room without another word.
Posted on 9/4/23 at 9:23 pm to Will Cover
Me: I’m hungry
Dad: Hello Hungry. I’m Bob.
Dad: Hello Hungry. I’m Bob.
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