re: Do you feel like you sacrificed your personality for your wife, family, career?

I don't know why you're getting downvoted, this is an interesting question.

I think everyone in a healthy marriage loses a little bit of themselves. If the marriage is good, I think that might be the bad parts you end up losing.

I know I'm different. I'm less impulsive because I have someone else to consider. I go to bed earlier because she goes to bed earlier. I go out and spend money less because she is over that (and to be frank so am I, but I know if I was single I'd be going out at least once a week).

Luckily we share the same interest in movies and TV. Like you, I'm more into horror, but she knows that and if I want to watch a horror movie, I put on the headphones and I watch what I want. Same with football. She has a deep understanding that fall Saturdays are gone. In return, however, I limit my NFL intake. I'd like to watch more pro ball, but also I like my wife much more.

It's an interesting thing to think about. I think when the thought of divorce or infidelity creeps in is when people feel like they are a different person and they didn't sign up for it.

I love my wife, I like my wife, so most change that comes with it is usually weighed against that and she wins every time.

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If you're wife doesn't let you have this, that's a big red flag.

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It’s not that at all. I just choose to be home, attentive to the house and kids, and focus on my relationship with my wife.

I feel like you just described my life, but instead of of movies, music, and video games it's golf and watching sports. I look at it as being tough now, but will improve once the kids aren't so dependent on me for every little thing. I also hope that my 1 year old son will develop interests in those things so I can include him.

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I was into horror movies, rock and metal music, and video games.

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I still do all this shite. In fact she encourages it

We both have competitions to see who can annoy the other the most (In a loving healthy way).

However, the most important thing we ever did was COMMUNICATE needs, expectations, and roles. Oddly enough it took me a very long time understand this as a man and this is by far the healthiest, loving, and most fun relationship ive been in. I feel like I can be unapologetically me. Hence why she has a ring on her finger.

FTR were both 37 and working professionals (Engineering/Commercial Design).

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My wife and kids have given me more joy in life

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My wife and kids give me tremendous joy and tremendous purpose.

But looking back, I don’t know if my wife and I have a lot in common. We have great chemistry and built a life around it. But in terms of hobbies? Personal interests? Definitely different.

I guess at this stage of life, I’m realizing that not having those personal interests in common makes it difficult to pursue anything individually. There’s no time.

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I guess I can see how middle aged dudes stop giving a frick and go do things on their own. My dad’s like that. For a few decades now he goes to the movies by himself or to concerts by himself. I guess that’ll be me in the future.

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Already there and it’s lovely.

It’s called growing up. If you were selfish it would not be an issue. Congratulations, you’re doing it right.

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It’s not that at all. I just choose to be home, attentive to the house and kids, and focus on my relationship with my wife.

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You can do all that while having personal interests and hobbies though. I can only go off the way you chose to describe the situation.

My wife and I both till take time for ourselves, friends trips, nights/events out on our own, etc. Sure it's not very frequent, but I think you need to do those things for your sanity in general.

You're likely romanticizing your single life, which is normal. But I bet you are really happier now.