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Started By
Message
Mom vs porch pirates in Austin feces fight
Posted on 9/27/22 at 8:13 pm
Posted on 9/27/22 at 8:13 pm
quote:
Several residents of a neighborhood in south Austin, Texas, claim to have seen the same thieves swiping packages from their porches again and again.
Gabriela was already frustrated when it happened to her. But when she saw her neighbors posting surveillance videos of what looked like the same suspects and vehicle — a black Chevy Suburban with no plates — she stepped in, hoping to thwart the operation.
Specifically, she and her husband put a box of dirty diapers on the front porch.
“The same [people] came back and took [the] package,” she said. “And when they discovered it was a bunch of dirty diapers they came back and smeared those diapers on our front door.”
“Thirty minutes later, they came back with a giant bag of cow manure. They spread that all over our front porch and on our cars in the driveway,” Gabriela said. “That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I called police, filed a report, and now there’s a detective on the case.”
Local news
Youtube with video of shitty thieves
Posted on 9/27/22 at 8:15 pm to Diseasefreeforall
Oldmanbeasley has never had the misfortune of running into a porch pirate, but has had to fight off a butt pirate.
Posted on 9/27/22 at 8:21 pm to Diseasefreeforall
When they returned to smear feces on the house would be a declaration of war in my book. I would dedicate my life to seeing these punks suffer.
Posted on 9/27/22 at 8:32 pm to Diseasefreeforall
I would have been waiting for them to come back…
Posted on 9/27/22 at 8:34 pm to Diseasefreeforall
quote:they're working in shifts to crack this case I’m sure
I called police, filed a report, and now there’s a detective on the case.”
Posted on 9/27/22 at 8:34 pm to Diseasefreeforall
Just make a bomb and let them die when they open it. Hopefully a painful death.
Posted on 9/27/22 at 8:38 pm to Diseasefreeforall
I would have been waiting on those fricks with a baseball bat and a bottle of tanqueray.
Posted on 9/27/22 at 8:41 pm to Diseasefreeforall
Ok. Hear me out…. You want to get back at the porch pirates? One word…
Claymore.
There is a 100% chance they will never try rob you (or anyone for that matter) ever again.
Claymore.
There is a 100% chance they will never try rob you (or anyone for that matter) ever again.
Posted on 9/27/22 at 8:45 pm to Darth_Vader
quote:
Claymore.
No mother should have to worry about their kids dying while being porch pirates, we need more programs.
Posted on 9/27/22 at 8:46 pm to Diseasefreeforall
If that frick comes back to smear the diapers I gave him, I'm leaving a bunch of packages at the door step and waiting for him. Promise you it would be the last time he WALKS on my property.
Posted on 9/27/22 at 8:50 pm to Diseasefreeforall
I would have no problem with folks putting lethal explosive devices disguised as packages on their front porches. Kill a few of these assholes and this kind of crap will stop.
Posted on 9/27/22 at 8:51 pm to Diseasefreeforall
Black mamba in a box filled with filling. Dig around and find that gold.
This post was edited on 9/27/22 at 8:52 pm
Posted on 9/27/22 at 8:55 pm to Tchefuncte Tiger
quote:
I would have no problem with folks putting lethal explosive devices disguised as packages on their front porches. Kill a few of these assholes and this kind of crap will stop.
Yeah that’s illegal. What happens when it’s an innocent person that gets hit by your trap?
Posted on 9/27/22 at 8:56 pm to Diseasefreeforall
My house can't be seen from the street but we got a porch pirate up here a year ago. To make sure nobody was home they rang the doorbell. Due to my elderly father's hearing problem, we have a doorbell that sounds like an air raid siren. Scared them so badly they drove off without the package.
Posted on 9/27/22 at 8:59 pm to AUbagman
A few decades ago I lived in an apt complex without locking mailboxes and a neighbor would steal the mail.
I thought about filling some Rolos with antifreeze and putting a package with a bunch of them in my mailbox because I knew they were stoners but decided it might not be the best idea for my future. They got arrested for something not long after and thankfully disappeared for good.
I thought about filling some Rolos with antifreeze and putting a package with a bunch of them in my mailbox because I knew they were stoners but decided it might not be the best idea for my future. They got arrested for something not long after and thankfully disappeared for good.
Posted on 9/27/22 at 9:50 pm to Diseasefreeforall
Rattlesnake or cotton mouth in a box with packing peanuts….
Posted on 9/27/22 at 9:59 pm to Diseasefreeforall
At least put one of the exploding color bombs in there like banks use so they can be identified or at least hassled.
Posted on 9/27/22 at 10:17 pm to Diseasefreeforall
Well I now know how to ensure they return. Great for planning.
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