College football predictions: Louisiana G5 teams

Louisiana Lafayette

ULL has been whooping the shite out of baws lately. They went 13-1 last year and won a conference championship. The Cajuns have won their division 4 years in a row and have 3 straight seasons of double digit wins. That’s very impressive and hard to do at any level of college football. Billy Napier has left the Ragin Cajun football program in excellent condition. In comes new head coach Michael Desormeaux, who talks like us and puts the potato salad on the side of his gumbo. He inherits a talented roster with 11 returning starters, although he will have to replace Levi Lewis and half the defense. There may be some natural regression after the best 3 year stretch in school history, but the Cajuns should remain as legitimate Sun Belt contenders until proven otherwise.

Prediction: 10-2 (7-1 Sun Belt)

Tulane

It’s hard to be very optimistic about a 2-10 football team. The good news for Tulane is that Michael Pratt is healthy and the schedule is significantly easier than last year. The bad news for Tulane is that they are still Tulane. The Wave should at least match their 2021 win total after playing UMASS and Alcorn State the first two games. I don’t see them going on the road and beating K State, though it is possible. It is not likely that the Greenies will win at Houston or Cincinnati either. Every other game seems like a toss up. I think Tulane will return to being an average FBS team like they were the previous few years, but I wouldn’t expect anything spectacular. Tulane just needs to improve on offense, defense, and special teams.

Prediction: 6-6 (3-5 AAC)

Louisiana Tech

La Tech had about a 5 year stretch when they were pretty good but it seems they’ve declined and are back to being a mediocre program. On a more serious note I don’t think there was a more snakebit team in America than the Louisiana Tech Bulldogs. Of their 9 losses it seemed like every one of them was a 4th quarter comeback or a game winning field goal. The way they lost to Mississippi State was just absurd, my 3 year old daughter could have preserved that lead. Moving on, Tech will have an entirely new coaching staff and look to improve on defense somewhat. The offense has some talented weapons and should be good. I expect they will be sodomized by Missouri and Clemson, but the rest of the schedule is very manageable. I think the Bulldogs will move in the right direction but defense will hold them back.

Prediction: 5-7 (4-4 CUSA)

Louisiana Monroe

ULM is probably the toughest place to win in America. You have no fan support, no administrative support, no tradition, crap facilities and a tiny stadium, and I believe the smallest budget in the FBS. Recruiting is garbage and the only things to do in Monroe are to visit the aviation museum and smoke meth. I do think ULM got the right guy for the job though. Terry Bowden is a veteran coach who gets the most out of his team and Rich Rod is a stable offensive genius. The Warhawks are getting a little bit better all the time. However, the schedule is really unfavorable as it always is. Texas and Bama will both drop 50 burgers and ULM opens Sun Belt play with probably the best team in the conference. When you start out 1-3 the rest of the season is usually an uphill battle

Prediction: 4-8 (3-5)